August 29, 2009
Venture Fourth Fall Intensive

August 29, 2009, Saturday AM, part 2

Keywords: crystals, process for opening to spirit, Crystal/Indigo children, DNA shift, (initiation, negative beings), guided meditation to meet higher self

Barbara: We're talking about the Lemurian seed crystal. This came to me from a friend named Russell Boulding. I don't know if any of you came to a workshop that Aaron and Russell and I did at Michigan Friends Center a few years ago.

Russell is working with a group that's concerned with healing the Earth with energy and love. They invited a number of people, to receive crystals, people all over the world. They sent out these small seed crystals with the idea of light centers that would hold the space all around the Earth. So it came to me in that way.

An aside from Barbara: here is the original invitation from Russell. It sounds like spirit has selected these recipients.

Dear Barbara,

On July 13, 2006, we (E'Lara and Russell) participated in an etheric ceremony with Judith Moore and Sean Sands (Oracle and Scribe of Ibis,* respectively) which activated and merged the energies of two crystals to create the Alpha and Omega Crystals of the Masters of Solomon. In that ceremony E'Lara held Lemurian Light Ray, a 28-lb Brazilian Lemurian Point; and Russell held Star Maker, a 50-faceted Vogel crystal. As guardians of these sacred crystals, we accepted the mission to freely create and gift A&O Seed Crystals to individuals as we are guided. This has been a fascinating and surprising process for us. We soon realized that spirit is not only identifying the individuals who are candidates for receiving these crystals but is also guiding the timing of their distribution! You are receiving this email right now because you have been designated to receive one of these sacred seed crystals sometime within the next 3 months.

If this information resonates with you, please respond and provide your mailing address. Each crystal is uniquely seeded for the individual receiving it, but our sense is that these are to be used freely with others --- in fact allowing others to handle these crystals will be beneficial for the individual and will serve the highest good for what is happening on planet Earth at this time in ways we can scarcely imagine. No doubt you will receive your own guidance as to how the A&O Seed Crystal can support your work. The crystals we seed tend to be small (less than two inches long). As guided, we can also seed one larger crystal for each of you etherically upon receipt of your own seed crystal. Let us know if you have a crystal that is volunteering to participate in this mission which will aid you in your work and this greater work for humanity and Mother Earth.

  • The Chronicles of Ibis include many long-lost, hidden, and sacred texts dating back to the first seeding of Earth with sentient species. At the time of Hybornea they were brought to the Inner Earth for protection from distortion and/or destruction. They are once again being revealed to humanity on Earth in support of this ascension process....

On Sep 17, 2006, at 11:13 AM, Russell Boulding--Earth Energy Healing wrote:

Dear Barbara,

I put your A&O seed crystal in the mail on Friday, so you should receive it soon. Seeding yours was really interesting. It received considerably more preparation while being held in my hand than the others I have seeded to date, and at one point it was placed against my forehead at the sixth chakra. That's never happened before. Love, Russell

When the next group email goes out I'll include the address for the work that Russell is doing and also Planetary Awakening Network.

From Barbara as I review the transcript. The Planetary Awakening network web site is at

It says 300 networks in 33 countries. Through me, you are already a part.

Barbara: Aaron is saying that the crystals from Russell's group are not all Lemurian seed crystals. There were different kinds of crystals and each crystal selected the person to whom it would be sent. They had a number of different crystals and the one that came to me was a Lemurian seed crystal. (Added later)I suggest you Google "Lemurian Seed Crystal" to learn more about them. Some of the sites you will find are hoaxes, just people trying to make money by selling alleged such crystals. Some sites have clear information. Here is one such:

Lemurian Seed Crystals : While at a gem and mineral show in May, 2001, I saw quartz points described as "Lemurian Seed Crystals." I had heard mention of these before and not paid much attention. Although I am generally cautious about "newly-discovered crystals" from ancient civilizations, Joyce and I were both strongly attracted to these crystals.

We asked the man selling them to tell us about them. They were found in Brazil in late 1999 or early 2000 by people who were mining for quartz. Usually, quartz points are found in the form of clusters. The Lemurian seed crystals drew the miners' attention because they were lying in a separate bed of sand, unattached to clusters.

Unusual as this is, the appearance of these crystals is even more striking. They are not shiny, but have almost a frosted appearance, and many had a pink glow. Their most distinctive feature is the distinct horizontal striations running up one or more sides of the sides.

I've never seen quartz points like these. Nor have I experienced an energy quite like theirs. Joyce and I decided to choose two for ourselves, then walk around the show and see how they felt. (This is not the ideal way to get to know a new crystal, but we felt certain we could sense enough to know whether we wanted to buy some for Beyond the Rainbow.)

I experienced a brief feeling of disconnection, almost as I were being unplugged while a rewiring process took place. After that, I felt calm and happy. Though I'd been on my feet for four hours after a two-and-half hour drive, I felt energized and strongly connected to universal life force energy. Without knowing the details, I knew these crystals were very powerful and important.


Although I have read various interpretations about both the nature and location of this advanced civilization, it is generally believed that about 12 million years ago there existed an advanced civilization somewhere between the American continent and Australia. Katrina Raphaell (author of the Crystal Trilogy and one of the most widely respected crystal teachers and healers) gathered with several others on Kauai to attune with six Lemurian seed crystals. While doing so, they connected with a group of powerful nonphysical beings who communicated the meaning of these crystals.

During the last days of Lemuria, it was decided to plant seed crystals programmed to transmit a message of oneness. Having seeded the crystals, the Lemurians, it is believed, left this planet for other star systems. Others went into inner earth (while maintaining telepathic connection with those in other parts of the galaxy), where they continue to care for the earth and the seed crystals now surfacing.

The crystals are thus connected to inner earth, the earth's surface, and the stars, and serve as links to these various magnetic fields. On the individual level, each seed crystal is energetically connected to all other seed crystals.

This connection is a living example of the message of the Lemurian seed crystals. They teach us how to be both individuals and integral parts of the cosmic design, that all beings are equal. They also help us how, as physical beings, to maintain our connection with our spiritual source.

The striations, which to some observers have the appearance of being lasered onto the crystals, contain this knowledge. Some ways to work with them are to hold one of the striated sides of the crystal to the third eye (between and above the other two). Another is to rub the index finger of your non-dominant hand over the ridges.

I also find it very helpful to sleep holding one. When I've done this, I not only sleep very well but have dreams that seem to be dissolving energy blockages.

In addition, I recommend using one in chakra balancing. To do this, put a crystal on each chakra and rotate the Lemurian seed crystal in a circle over each stone.

See the article on the chakras on the Beyond the Rainbow web site.

In the coming days, we will be learning more about these crystals and how best to work with them. I also believe new deposits will be discovered all over the world.

I believe that crystals are discovered not only when the need for them is greatest, but when humans have reached an evolutionary stage when they are most receptive to them. To me, the discovery of Lemurian seed crystals signals a new level of awareness on the part of humankind.

Their site also shows many crystals and tells of their qualities. See:

Informal discussion: not transcribed.

Barbara: This is me, Barbara. I am going to open to Aaron; As I do, I want to share with you my process for opening to spirit.

I begin by centering myself, inviting the mind to quiet. If there's a lot of agitation in the mind and the body, just allowing it to settle. If some agitation remains, just watching it, not trying to force it, but resting in the awareness that can watch the agitation without getting caught up in it. So the mind and body don't have to be completely quiet.

I state my highest intention. This will vary for each person. There are certain deep similarities but the specific statement of it will vary. For me, I state the highest intention as service to all beings, for the good of all beings with harm to none, in the spirit of love, always holding the energy of love.

For me, the core of my spirituality is the Christ energy. So I make the statement that I open myself to any being that comes harmonious to that energy, in service to that energy, walking in the footsteps of that energy. Each of you will have to state your own deepest truth there.

I express gratitude that this mind and body be used in service in this way. I'm serving as a medium in a different way than you may be serving, but it's not all that different. If you invite in your higher self or your guides or your animal spirits, you want to be certain that whatever comes is fully harmonious to your highest intention. I just have to be more careful than you because I'm literally inviting something to take over my body.

Many of you remember the days when I conscious-channeled Aaron, which meant that Aaron did not fully come into my body. The step to release my body to Aaron was not an easy one. It took years of really knowing and trusting him to give over this whole energy flow and body to him. Now I know that he will not abuse this gift in any way. I know that he would never do anything that would harm me or that would harm others, and I trust him completely. But it takes time for that kind of trust to build.

So then I make the statement, and I don't limit it to Aaron specifically, I say, "I offer this body to any being who comes fully harmonious to my highest intentions, in service to all beings for the highest good, with love and harmonious to and in service to the Christ energy and specifically to that expression of that energy that I know as Jeshua."

There is a list of specific beings to whom I immediately openly offer the body–Aaron, Jeshua, several of the Casa entities. And then I say, "If there is any other being of such high intention that should wish to use this body in service to all beings," to come to me and ask.

If Aaron is going to be in the body and then may transfer the body, my prior statement is that both Aaron and Jeshua are guardians of the body. Both Aaron and Jeshua must approve any being that wishes to incorporate into this body. So I feel very safe with them as guardians of my body.

I go through this process each time I channel Aaron, every time I open my energy field to him. There is negative energy out there. I don't want to frighten you. I know you're working hard to open to your higher selves and guides, but I also want you always to challenge before you open, to challenge by stating your own highest truth, your own deepest values, and stating that no being may use your body or energy that does not come fully harmonious to these values.

If something tries to come in that's not harmonious, you'll know it. You'll feel it. I'm reminded of an occasion probably 16 or 17 years ago at a retreat in another state. A man approached me the first day and said that years before he had been a child molester and had worked very hard to get past that, felt very certain that he would not move in that direction. But he was still troubled by it and wanted to learn how to find forgiveness for himself and ask forgiveness.

His story brought up a lot of personal pain for me, his story. I saw that I held some anger in my heart against child abusers, and that this was not yet resolved for me. When I began to open to Aaron, for Aaron to speak, because of my anger I opened the doorway to negativity and I could feel, while I was challenging Aaron, something trying to come in that felt very much like Aaron. Now, Aaron has a certain vibration. Something slightly negative will feel very different but something very negative can feel very much like Aaron, a very related vibration but a dark vibration that's negative rather than a love vibration.

So I could feel this energy was there. Aaron just said, "Stop." I had to say to the man, "I need to do some work with this first. Come back and we'll talk tomorrow." I meditated most of the night. I really needed to find forgiveness, to find compassion for those who would abuse a child and recognition that the abuser himself had probably been abused. I had to release that which was opening a portal to negative vibration.

Through the night there was a lot of clearing, different entities that came, some positive, some negative, past life aspects of myself that had done harm to others, not necessarily sexual harm or to a child, but had done harm to others. Releasing all this, by the next day, I felt in a clear space to channel. But until that point I did not open to Aaron because opening that door, I was aware something different could come through, and that it was not safe.

We always need to take responsibility when we open our energy, to what we are opening to. I repeat, I'm not saying this to frighten you. You are in charge; you simply need to be responsible. It's no different than, if somebody knocks on your door, you don't just say, "Come in," you look at them and say, "What is it you want? How can I help you?" You talk to them a bit on the porch in the doorway before you're certain you want to invite them into your house. You're responsible to yourself and your family and your home, and you find out, what this stranger is asking for? If you get a very positive feeling about it and they want to talk about something that's of interest to you, you might invite them in. But you take responsibility. You're acting not from a place of fear but a place of love and respect and care.

So I always challenge Aaron. No matter how familiar his energy is to me, I always first state my own deepest values and truth and then I invite Aaron, and as he requests to come in, I challenge him.

So now I'm going to run through this challenge, we're just going to do it out loud for you and Aaron will come in.

Q: Several years ago, my mother had a caregiver who was very competent. But she had a guru that she followed around the country that was living in St. Augustine at the time. This guru told the caregiver that there are entities out there all the time, negative entities, all the time, surrounding else, all over the place, and they want to get into our chakras. So we must keep our chakras closed all the time and not let negative entities come in. She was very firm in this and scared my mother.

Barbara: First, there is one piece of complete misinformation there. There IS negative energy. It is all around us, just as there's positive energy all around us. When you come into a room, there are some people who are positive and some people who are negative, just on the human level. Of course it's the same on the spirit plane. And negative spiritual beings would like to use us to their own ends so they're always looking for an opening.

However, the work is not to keep the chakras closed but to keep the chakras open. When the chakras are open and the energy is flowing, there's so much loving energy that's coming out that negativity is repelled. So the more open our chakras are, the more uncomfortable we are for negativity. But we're not opening the chakras to BE uncomfortable for negativity; we're opening the chakras because our intention is to open the chakras, to bring forth this loving radiance in service to all beings.

Almost always when I channel Aaron with a group, there's a lot of negative energy around so I'm very careful to challenge Aaron, to make this statement, and to invite all the negativity that's there to sit and listen. I don't say, "Get out of here!" If they're there, it's for a reason. It's either because at some level they hope to use my energy field to get into me, or because they're there to learn. If they see they cannot manipulate me and they're not interested in learning, they'll go of their own accord. But if they're there to learn about love and just consider the possibilities of a different path, then they're welcome to stay and learn. But they may not incorporate in my body and they may not influence the channeling session.

Q: Two questions. First, why is it that a very dark energy would feel similar to Aaron's energy? And how can you tell the difference and what do we do with the dark energies?

Barbara: Think of a scale, a balance. You push one weight out thus far; you push another weight out thus far on the other side and they balance. Aaron's vibration as positive polarity will feel very different from a low negative vibration because Aaron's is so powerful. But a negative energy that's equivalent to Aaron's carries the same weight. I can only put it in that way.

Discerning between the two, light negative comes saying little nasty things. It hasn't yet learned to be subtle. It says, "Oh, you should hate him." That kind of thing... that's a young negative energy speaking. A very powerful negative energy will come more subtly and say, "This person did harm to you. He might do harm to others. Maybe you should not open your heart to this being, it could be dangerous." So they give subtle negative direction and we often don't catch on to that.

You can feel the difference by holding your truth within you and using your intuition. If anything feels disharmonious to that deepest truth, one says no. So much of our vipassana practice is watching various energies come up, some wholesome, some unwholesome, and learning to relate to them with equanimity. Watching what arises, as in anger arising, we don't say, "No! No anger," that's more negativity, but just noting, "anger, anger, anger." What is the direct experience of that anger in the body, in this moment? How does it feel? How does it feel in the mind? That which is aware of the anger is not angry. Transcending the anger, I open to that spaciousness that can watch anger with compassion and with equanimity.

Establishing this ground of ability to relate with kindness and equanimity to whatever arises, pleasant or unpleasant, wholesome or unwholesome, is a deep ground for working with spirit. Then when something comes that's unwholesome, you know how to give a compassionate no to it. "No, you're after the wrong person. I am a being of Light. I consecrate this whole mind and body and energy to the Light. You may not use me in any way." It's something we can say to what we sense to be an external spirit or just to our own anger and judgment. Judging mind comes up and we say the same thing, "No, I'm not going to get pulled in that direction."

Q: I have been told that as we move closer to the Light, and liberation, that darker energies try to pull us back down. Is that true?

Barbara: Yes. You know the story of the Buddha. On the night of his enlightenment, all the forces of Mara came to try to pull him back. "We don't want to lose this one. This one might be liberated! This one might go so far in its commitment to service to the highest good that it cannot be turned back into service to self."

As you become more powerful, you also become more interesting to negative energy. But again, I don't want this to frighten you because we're doing this gradually and carefully. You all have your strong vipassana practice to ground into. You all have a strong commitment to service to the highest good, and you're all ready to experience an increased power and release of limitation. You need to do it gradually and with care. You need not to be frightened that, "Some negative being is going to grab me if I allow myself more fully to the Light or open to my power." That's just a way of getting caught by the negative polarity. That's just what it seeks. If we do that then they win! The Buddha didn't say, "Oh, no! No! This is Mara! No, get me out of here." The Buddha just put his hand down and said, "The earth is my witness to my readiness to do this."

Q: First question is, when you challenge a negatively polarized being, why can't they lie?

Barbara: Aaron, can you answer that? I am paraphrasing Aaron. He says it's simply part of the rules! (laughter) He says they will twist the truth but they can't outright lie. If you say, "Do you come in service to the Light?" they can't say, "Yes" when they don't, they can say, "I come in high service," or "Our services our aligned," and by that they're referring to that little part of me that's still ego. So they can twist the truth but they cannot give an outright lie.

Q: So you need to ask a straight yes or no question.

Barbara: I think it's more helpful to ask it as a yes or no question, and one of the reasons I use the question, "Do you come in fullest harmony with the Christ energy" is it's very hard to wriggle out of that one. Saying "in service to all beings," there's a little wiggle space but that last one doesn't give much wiggle space. It's important to remember here, although I feel a strong affinity with the one we know as Jeshua, the Christ energy is not specifically of Jeshua but all of us participate in that Christ energy. It's simply the highest awakened energy.

So find a question that really resonates as truth for you and that doesn't have much wiggle room. Three questions, asked 3 times.

Q: Second question is about the DNA changes. I know you were going to talk about this later, or Aaron was. If I'm correct about this, during that period of change, when DNA changes are taking place, there's a lot of vulnerability. Can you talk more about that?

Barbara: We feel the effects of the change but I would not call it vulnerability. In some ways everything becomes stronger but we feel the effects of it.

Aaron says, when I was a little girl I used to wake up with cramps in my legs at night that my mother called growing pains. It was because the body was growing at a very fast pace and certain muscles and tissue was literally being stretched, so there was some pain. But he's saying the body was not weakened thereby, it was just growing, and there was a brief period of discomfort.

As the DNA changes, you will experience times of discomfort with that change, but it does not make you more vulnerable to anything, you are not weaker.

Q: I'm not sure if part of what I've been experiencing over the last 2 years is related to that or not.

Barbara: At some time we'll go through a list of the experiences that happen with DNA changes and give you a chance to check in with some of those. Okay?

New Q: As far as the real world is concerned...

Barbara: Aaron is laughing and says, What is the real world?

Q: How does the medical world deal with finding different DNA?

Barbara: I don't know. I've seen articles about it but I have not been moved to read them. If you Google "DNA change" you'll find scientific articles. There's a person I met last year. I never got back into touch with her but I think I have her email on my computer, and she's done some scientific research about it. She's a scientist and she's approached it from a scientific perspective. But the science of it just didn't capture my interest.

Q: Indigo children have the different DNA?

Barbara: Indigo children have different DNA. When we say different DNA, all of the complete DNA strand is there for us so I'm not sure how much it shows up in terms of blood tests or whatever kind of tests they do, because you each have a complete DNA, but some of the linkages were severed. And those linkages are reconnecting. Now I'm not sure how that shows up on scientific tests. Apparently it does to some degree but I'm not sure exactly how, in terms of the science of it.

But what's happening with these Indigo children is that they're being born with these linkages restored and what's happening with us is our body is making these linkages. D, Aaron is saying that some of your experiences are related to DNA changes and some are not.

Q: Some of what I was taught previously by another teacher, and some of what I've seen a little bit of references to, is the Indigo children started predominantly in the 1980s. And now there is something about Crystal children. What is that?

Barbara: Aaron says it's really just a statement of degree. I'm paraphrasing Aaron. The Indigo children have a much more open third eye and they're born with these DNA linkages fully made. The Crystal children are even more completely grounded into that Lemurian energy. They have all the attributes of the Indigo children plus an even deeper grounding into Lemurian energy. He says it's really a difference of degree.

Q: Is this urban legend?

Barbara: Indigo children and Crystal children, is that urban legend? Aaron says no, it's quite real. He says the whole shift in DNA, when I first experienced this shift in DNA, I was very angry, I said, "What's going on? What's manipulating me?" because I was aware of these changes. There were strong emotional ups and downs, a lot of fatigue, much less equanimity. There were a number of different experiences that came. And I felt that spirit in some way was manipulating me without my agreement because nobody had ever come to me, spirit had never come to me, and said, "We're going to support the shift of the DNA."

But Aaron reminded me I've offered this body to the highest service and asked for Spirit to bring forth whatever is necessary to support that intention. So I had already given my permission and they didn't feel they needed to spell it out specifically.

Q: You are experiencing less equanimity and more anger and more emotional highs and lows, didn't that not make you also more vulnerable to negative energy?

Barbara: No, it just makes me work harder to ground myself and stay centered in that place of equanimity and not to be careless. The practice is there and stable. I need to be responsible. And it's brief and temporary.

While reviewing the transcript. I looked up in my journal to find the list of changes I had noted as I moved through this experience. I will also attach more information on DNA changes.

-feeling very fluctuating emotions,

- a lot of past life recall and healing, involving a lot of emotional and deep inner work.

-feeling exhausted.

-needing a lot more sleep, or wanting to sleep

-shifts from constipation to diarrhea and back,

-low appetite,

-moderate back pain after these now almost daily, intense energy sessions,

-occasional muscle weakness, coming and resolving. Occasional tingling and numbness in feet and hands.

- very occasional shortness of breath, sometimes even while lying in bed.

-erratic heartbeat at times

-much more inner ear sound, ringing, drumming...

Q: In the same vein about responsibility, <> a wild speculation, we were recalling a story I heard on New Dimensions radio program a number of years ago about a shaman in Africa. He was conducting a transitional rite for the young teenage men, initiational. And the task that he slipped/slit reality some way and they passed through out of the 3 dimensions, out of our ordinary reality, and it was up to them to find their way back.

I just figured with my luck I'd get lost. Then the next thing was, I would just pray to God to get me back. And then I thought, well everything I've learned in the last 20 years is, all my prayers to God, they don't get answered the way I think they're going to get answered. They just really get answered <> if they get answered at all. And it usually ends up that I have to figure out how to get back. Now, will I have to figure it out if I get lost in space somewhere. In this universe, being a responsible person.

Q: The Odysseus myth, the Odyssey, Homer.

Barbara: We're lost and we're never lost, and as soon as you realize you're never lost, you're not lost. It's just like resting in rigpa, you're liberated. But because we don't stay in that space, we come back to this samsaric ground. As soon as we remember who we are, so much of what we do is just remembering.

I don't quite understand what his journey was for these boys but I assume it involved remembering their deepest truth and coming home.

Where does responsibility come into it? You brought this up with the term responsibility.

Q: I just brought it up for that precise point. What responsibility means to me is that I can't let panic overrun me, and I have to sit down and do my best.

Barbara: That is in a sense what this program is designed for, to prepare you to KNOW your ability to find your way through. There are traditional rituals of maturation and responsibility that are transformative for people. (speaks of the camp her sons attended, the challenges they were presented, and their growth through these challenges) I think one of the difficulties in our culture, is that youth are not given these kinds of challenges.

Q: I think what threw me was precisely that. This was a cultural shift I was totally ignorant of. If they would send these children into this vacuum, the children obviously had some familiarity with the landmarks of that vacuum.

Barbara: In some cultures it is just taken for granted and talked about from childhood, that there are different realities. In our culture we don't talk about it and that's why all of you have need to explore this, not necessarily for the first time. Some of you have been exploring it for years, but if you're like me you did not grow up with this. It takes some getting used to.

And of course there are many different, I don't want to call them different realities, but there are many aspects of reality, and we can't say one is more real than another. An illustration is of the work we do in our deepest vipassana practice, and the experiences of the Unconditioned. We can move into a powerful experience of the Unconditioned where mind and body dissolve, where everything dissolves, complete dissolution experience, cessation experience, everything ceases to arise and pass away. Peace, complete stillness, profound, life-changing. Yet if the house catches fire, we must respond appropriately.

That's no different than what these young men were being shown. If we get stuck in that space, we can't relate to the world. We have to come back to everyday reality, and we have to find the integration of that reality in our everyday reality. This is, in Heather's terms, part of what the shaman does. In our terms here, this is part of what the servant does. If we're going to be servants in this world, we can't do it from the small ego self. We have to do it as much as possible from this highest level of consciousness, awakened consciousness. And yet we can't hang out in that enlightened consciousness and ignore the everyday reality.

So it's the integration. When we do dzogchen practice, resting in pure awareness, and then something comes, maybe the smell of a skunk, it pulls you back into the body and the whole mind and body say, "Unpleasant! Acrid! Eyes burning!" Then we look with Aaron's way of phrasing it, "Anything other-than?" Anything here other than the highest expression of the divine simply expressing as skunk smell and expressing also as aversion to skunk smell? As soon as we open to that, "No, nothing other than," we're back in rigpa, just resting in awareness again.

Dzogchen at that level, the trekchod practice of dzogchen, teaches us how to integrate, how to, let me say it differently, how to not get caught in the physical mind-body experiences that create contraction but how to rest in awareness watching contraction come and release and come and release, without having to fix the contraction, just knowing, it will resolve, it will go. It's just contraction. Our vipassana practice with choiceless awareness, and with an increased ability to rest in spaciousness and simply observe arising and passing away, teaches the same thing.

We learn how to literally to have one foot in the Unconditioned world and one in the conditioned and how to stay balanced between them but we're still seeing it as separate. Then the togyal light practices help us to see everything as integrated. There's no conditioned or Unconditioned; it all comes together. It's just all light and expression of light.

I don't want to go too far with this now, this is going to be our work in Intensive 3. So, these levels and of consciousness and so forth will be our focus for Intensive 3.

Let's come back, it's 11:20 and I want to finish this challenging process and do a journey with Aaron, have Aaron lead you on a journey to your higher self. So I'd like you to simply stand in place and stretch for a minute.


Barbara: So I begin by stating my highest intention as servant. Many years ago my guru gave me a name, part of which is the word Das, which in Sanksrit means "servant". I was only 11 years old, I had no idea what the name meant. So he said, when I understood my name I'd be ready to begin my work, two Sanksrit words. And it took me years, first to learn the meaning of the words, the literal meaning, and then to really understand them.

Much later on a retreat he came to me–this is not Aaron, this is Neem Karoli Baba–he came to me and said, his literal words were, not in long flowery talk but more a bopping on the head and saying, "You, Das! Don't be Das. You think Das is somebody. Das is nobody. Let go of the somebody."

Here I am inserting the direct words from that journal from 13 years ago. I hope this will be helpful to you.

July 1996, Dechen Choling: self-retreat journal: Maharaj-ji:

...I felt his present energy as I haven't felt it in a long time. I just sat, clutched his feet and cried really hard for awhile. He kept hitting me on the head. He said in a joking manner to some people who were there. "This one is mine; see how happy she is to see me; she cries!" After awhile he added, "She thinks she lost me!"

When I stopped crying I asked him, what am I doing? I'm trying to do what spirit asks me to do but often I feel like I don't understand anything. What is asked of me? In answer, eyes laughing, he threw me an orange, threw it hard so it hit me. He looked so innocent as I fumbled to catch it. I just sat there and looked at it. so he asked, "don't you want it?" Aside to others, "she doesn't want it!" To me again, "Why don't you eat it? Eat it!" So in my meditation, I ate it. Then he threw me another and said, "eat!" I did. Another. By now I was slowing down; too much orange. I finished the third and he threw me another and said again, "don't you want it?" I said I was full. He replied, "Give it away. You're always full; give it away. Give everything away. That's what I want you to do. Give everything away. Learn that you are always full. There's always everything/ fullness/ completeness." (hard to translate this) And he threw more oranges at me. "Give away everything; give it away!"

I wasn't sure what he meant and questioned, not "aloud" but in thought, , does he mean my house, my money my car. What does he mean. I felt some fear that what was being asked was too much, that I'm not ready to be possessionless. I wanted to protest but he wasn't looking at me any more. I understood I don't have to give away things that are "working tools" in my life like home or computer, only not to be attached to them. If they go, I didn't really need them or if I do they'll be replaced. I really do already trust that. What Maharaj-ji was talking about was the present confusion over completeness/ incompleteness. Nothing was ever incomplete so how can there be completion? I need to empty myself so as to understand my fullness. The more I give away, the more space there is to receive, to be a flow-through.

Maharaj-ji began to talk again; paraphrased. Can't get it precisely; it was a clear, simple thought. "I told you, forty years ago, your name is Shantih Das. I said you would know what to do with that name when you learned what it meant. (This is my dressing it up. It was more like, "You, Shantih Das! Why not live your name already?" but the rest was implied )

He continued, "You've learned 'Shantih'. You haven't learned 'Das' (servant). Give away everything; don't hold back anything. Give everything until you know 'Das.' It's very simple. This is all you need to do."

I started to withdraw but felt his energy again so I sat back at Baba's feet. I felt such an outpouring of love, started crying again. He hit me on the head again a few times and said, "go away, go away." I started to get up and then he said, "come here."

He said, eyes twinkling, "Be empty and God goes through you. Das is nobody. You can't be Das and still be somebody." Then he abruptly turned his attention elsewhere. I sat there for some time, just holding that love and finally realized I didn't need to hold it, that was just what he was talking about, so I stepped back and let others near, just let his energy pour through me and let it go. Full!

Aaron and I talked a little. Aaron said, "this is about completion; for several days you reached back to that cessation experience, wanting to find a way to reenter it, rather than allowing to arise in yourself the awareness that you are already and always in that center, that the Unconditioned is your essence. The experience of resting in that utmost peace is there, was there before your first more conscious experiences of it, years ago, will always be there. Like the oranges, why would you need more of it. 'Give away everything' means just that. You cannot know completion until you let go of the idea of incompletion. Let it go. Think only of God and let go of fear."

1 A.M.: A long evening of practice, mostly looking at "give away everything." Aaron asked me to note my breath, and that I cannot draw in new breath until I release the old. There would be no point in inhaling without the exhale. I don't hoard the breath; I exhale and trust the inhale will follow. There's no self in it. Breath breathes itself. But in other areas I hoard, afraid to let go. I know that "let go" is the key

7/28 afternoon: I've been sitting since 5AM with "das is nobody" and "give everything away." This is a hard teaching but right on! ... Thoughts of feeling invisible in childhood/ old mind. ... Looking at what makes that somebodiness come up. (old memories) feeling humiliated, wanting to defend myself and knowing there was no defense. Images of self as "the inadequate one" or "bad one" and needing to fight against that, but also being that, repeatedly, as a way of being in the world. All old.

A: Give it away."

B: How?

A: Just let it go. It's an old myth. Can you just let it go? Who needs it?

So the morning was a mix of looking at "Das is nobody" and the fears that nobodiness idea brings up, old mind and "give it away." Very painful and also very wonderful. Much release. ... ...

July 28, 10:30 PM I've been sitting outside in the glorious light of a full moon, Venus beside her, mountains rising around me. Some agitation about ...

Slowly mind quieted. I can see how much I do serve the dharma and that if to do so is my highest priority then I have to accept the path of service life has handed me. "Das is nobody." I can't start by saying "Thy will be done but only if it works out this way." Looking at the desires to control this path. Give away everything: give away thoughts of being "somebody/ fear that I'm not. Give away my conceptions of how I want it to be and work with what is. I am NOT running this show!

Servant of peace. To serve that peace, ... to serve the peace that is arrived at through the understanding of our deepest truth, ... but nobody serves anyone or there is no "service", but only manipulation. With this clarity, I briefly experienced Baba again, felt his energy embrace mine and then depart.

So I state my highest intention to live this spiritual name, Shanti Das, Servant of Peace, in the highest service to all beings, for the highest good of all beings, with love. So I ground myself in that intention and then I take it to the next step, inviting in whatever entity wishes to use this body. For you who are meeting your guides and higher self, not inviting an entity to incorporate in your body, your statement would not be "whatever entity wishes to use the body" but "whichever entity wishes to merge with this consciousness as friend and as teacher." You are stating that whatever entity comes must be completely aligned to your highest intention and vibration.

I'm going to do this with Aaron using the words I use for him to incorporate in my body but remember that what you're doing is not to invite an entity to incorporate, but to connect together with you in consciousness.

Having stated my highest intention, ... and I'm going to pause for a minute and let you all do this, raising your highest intention to yourself...

I open this mind and body to the highest energy possible that wishes to speak to me or speak through me in service to all beings...

Now you may feel your guide coming to you, or power animal. You may not feel it yet. We're going to do a meditation to meeting the guide, so don't try to bring forth the guide, but if the guide is there, that's fine.

I feel Aaron come in and I hear from him the request, "May I enter into the body and utilize this body, mind, and speech, for the highest good of all beings, with love, and in His service?" Aaron and I have a shorthand here. He says, "in His service," meaning service of the Christ.

Paraphrasing Aaron here, he says, "I will cherish and respect this body, protect it and return it without harm. I deeply thank you for your willingness to serve in this way."

I feel Aaron's energy and I hear his request. I really feel his love and his gratitude. And I offer the challenge again, although he has said it, "Do you come for the highest good of all beings?" And he says, "Yes, in service to all beings. In the spirit of love? Yes. And in His service? Yes."

And then I express my gratitude. "Aaron I thank you for this opportunity to co-create this service together." I allow myself to feel the joy and gratitude, which helps raise my vibration.

And finally I say, "I consecrate this mind and body to the Light." (Barbara's voice fades here for a moment)

Aaron: And I have arrived. I am Aaron. And so we shift in that way.

In Barbara's situation, the body could be briefly vulnerable because she moves out of the body and there's a moment of time in which the body is empty. So what protects it is this powerful intention to the highest good, and of course I'm there protecting it with my energy and other loving beings are protecting it with their energies.

I planned to speak some this morning about the integration of the program. We'll save that for this afternoon. I want to lead you on an inner journey to meeting your higher self, a guided meditation. So I would ask here that you close your eyes.

In Heather's meditation to meeting your guides she created a place of great safety. And that can be very useful to allowing you to open. I find for some people it's also helpful to experience a place of some discomfort or potential danger, and out of that experience, to ask for help, and then find the guide that is there. We begin.

It is a dark cloudy night and we are ascending a sacred mountain. There are many paths up the mountain. You arrive together at the base, then each is drawn to his or her own path. You may feel a sense of aloneness as you begin to walk into a dark woods. You carry only a candle, just enough to light the path a bit.

Gradually the voices of your fellows die away and all that remains is the wind and the trees, night noises of the forest. Somewhere ahead of you is the sound of running water.

The path becomes a bit steeper. If fear comes, note it with your mindfulness practice, aware of the direct experience of fear and holding space for it. It is your highest intention of the moment to climb this sacred mountain for whatever will await you at the top, and so you climb.

The path becomes steeper and steeper, asking you at times to grab hold with your free hand to pull yourself up the rocky way. The sound of fast-flowing water comes nearer. You've been told that there will be a stream that you must cross.

And now, over that sound of running of water, you begin to hear a low growling sound in the woods. Some animal, large or small, seems to be walking near you just out of the reach of your small candle light.

You approach the stream and see with some discomfort that the water rushes rapidly and is broader than you can simply step across. From your path there is a sheer drop of about 10 feet and then a raging torrent. There is forest again on the other side. Hold in your heart your aspiration to reach the top. Be aware of any fear of losing the way or falling into the abyss. There is one narrow plank that crosses this ravine with its rushing waters but there's nothing to hold onto.

And the growling is getting closer.

Remember at this point, my brothers and sisters, that you are not alone. Ask for help. "Whatever being can help me cross this stream in safety and continue my journey, please come to me now. I ask this for the highest good of all beings, trusting that this sacred journey supports the highest good of all beings, that it is not ego that makes the journey but love."

Gradually begin to feel a presence. It may be a humanoid form, it may simply appear as swirling light and energy. It may be an animal, even a bird or a snake, or even that being from whom the growl came; who knows. It may be a tree that reaches down a branch, lowering its limbs into your grasp. It may come as a male or female energy, or androgynous.

In whatever form or absence of form it comes, you will notice that a light radiates out of it, perhaps very bright light or perhaps only a dim one. You will feel as you felt with the crystal that there is a loving presence there.

Turn to it, bring your hands together and literally bow to it. Experience it bowing back to you. Simply rest in its presence for the moment. Then move with whatever way has been offered as support to help you cross this plank.

The snake might tell you to lie down on its back and it will simply carry you across. The limb on the tree might lift you and carry you across. The more humanoid-looking guide or swirling energy my simply take your hand and say, "Come, I will support you."

Use your imagination if you need to. If no seeming guide has come, simply let your imagination bring forth whatever comes first, in love. You will probably not be too far off. And remember, your guide does not have any ultimate form, it is formless; it simply appears to you in some kind of form at times. So when you use your imagination in this way, that's fine, you're not creating something that isn't there, you're just giving yourself a clearer way to access this guide's energy. For all of you right now, a guide is present.

Reach out... and feel this beloved one's energy field touching yours. With that touch, feel fear falling away. Nothing remains but the beloved's presence. Fear dissipates, fear of the darkness, of the raging stream, of the narrow plank that must be crossed. The sense of human limitedness falls away as you entrust yourself to the energy of the beloved.

In whatever way it happens, feel yourself being carried or supported across the waters, safely to the other side. Your guide suggests you lay down the candle, for your guide, and now you, also emanate light, a radiance that gives enough light to see the path.

Your guide will ask you where you want it to be–in front of you, beside you, behind you, even within you. And thus you begin to walk again.

The path grows steep so that even with two hands you feel you cannot climb it, at least not easily. The guide smiles at you, a reminder, "I am here. You are not alone. You are never alone. Tell me how you want me to help." If the guide is behind you, it may push with its energy, supporting your climb. Or if it's ahead of you it may lean down and help to lift you up. Allow yourself to rest in trust of that energy, feeling the love that is in it.

And now there is a very narrow path as you near the top. On one side there is a sheer cliff wall and on the other side is a sheer drop. The path is just barely wide enough for passage. Feel your guide's energy, quite literally forming a barricade so you cannot fall. Trust yourself to that presence and that energy and allow yourself to walk up the path.

See how fear releases, the whole sense of limitation–"I cannot do that." You, the ego, could not, but you in your wholeness and with the support of your loving guide, can do it easily.

A few of you are experiencing more than one guide and wonder is that okay? That's fine. They may be in different forms and that's fine. Since there is ultimately no separation, what is here is simply expression of the One as you are expression of the One.

So at some level we would have to say you are your own guide, and yet at another level, one does experience that as seemingly coming from a different entity, and that's also fine. Don't get caught in these mental gymnastics; just feel and rest in that loving energy.

As you near the top you see the sky is beginning to lighten. And now you are off the ridge and opening onto the bald top, a large open area. A bonfire burns. In the east is the very start of dawn. As you look around you, you see your comrades here, each of them with their own guide, gathered around the fire, sitting in such a way as to watch the dawn.

With your guide, find yourself a rock or mossy place and settle down. By the light of this fire, look deeply into your guide's face, if there is indeed a face. If it's a non-material being, simply look into the energy field. If you felt a tree's spirit that swung you across the stream, the tree itself will not be with you but the spirit of the tree.

Be with such spirit. Whatever is there, just be with it. Feel its love and say thank-you. If you feel love for it, tell it so.

All the group has arrived now. You look around in wonder at this circle of beings, physical and non-physical, and feel the joy that such guidance is available to all of you.

The sky is lightening, the red rim of sun just beginning to arise from beyond the mountains in the far distance. The sky is a deep blue above you. Allow yourself to feel joy, gratitude, and peace.

No words are necessary but if you wish, you may turn to your guide and ask, "Do you have a name by which I may address you?" The guide may or may not respond with a name. It may give a simple name like Love, or it may give a very specific name. Or it may just shake its head and say, "No name necessary, just reach for my energy." Allow yourself to hear what is offered.

The sun is fully arisen now. The guides indicate that they will depart--we never depart, but step back beyond consciousness for the moment. Again express your thanks and bid them farewell.

And now you may open your eyes, finding yourself still atop that mountain, sitting in a circle.

I don't want to break into conversation here. It's 12 o'clock, time for your lunch. Please hold 15 minutes of silence now at the start of lunch as you go off to get your meal. Then you may mindfully share what you experienced with each other, if you wish. There is no request that you do so but you're welcome to do so if you wish.

Thank you for trusting me to take you on this journey.

(recording ends)