Day Two continued (Section 19)

Question: In meditation I sometimes have a visual image. How can I know what that is? Does it mean I'm not doing good meditation or is spirit telling me something? How do I learn from those images?

Aaron: I am Aaron. I must address my answer to different levels of practice. For those of you who are new to the practice, I want to be very direct. I want you to simply note images as 'images' or 'seeing, seeing,' and come back to your breath. This instruction is because you do not yet have the practice to allow you to differentiate between the different kinds of images that arise. So, a very direct instruction. Simply note it as 'seeing, seeing,' and come back to the breath.

If you come back to the breath and the same image arises again, simply note it as 'seeing, seeing,' and come back to the breath. As practice deepens a bit, you still note it as 'seeing, seeing,' and return to the breath, but if it comes up again with enough force to pull you away from the breath, then it becomes useful to just sit with it, as you would with an itch or a noise. Is it pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral? As it changes or dissolves, you come back to the breath.

The third level of instruction is for those with a reasonable foundation in meditation, in other words, with the ability to let mind stay with what arises and move fluidly with a very ongoing state of awareness, touching whatever is primary in the experience. Once you have reached that level in your practice, when images arise we can presume that they arose for some reason. The same instruction applies at first; if it changes or dissolves, come back to the breath. If it stays there for a while, if you've noticed that it has a pleasant or unpleasant quality and you're just with it, noting it as 'pleasant, pleasant' or 'unpleasant, unpleasant' and present with the image, then it becomes useful to ask, 'What is this image about?'

Here, we are moving out of the realm of traditional insight meditation. Most of what I teach is drawn from this foundation practice, but I do teach from a broader perspective. So, yes, at a certain time you do ask, 'What is this image? What is it here to teach me?' You merely ask the question and then let go. Be present and aware and insight will develop.

Question: (About wandering mind and arising images.) How do I know if the image has some value or if mind is just wandering?

Barbara: First, mind moves. 'Wandering mind' is not the moving mind but is mind that jumps without awareness. If you are with the breath and then an image arises, such as of a loved one, and you note it as 'seeing,' mind is not 'wandering.' Awareness is present with what has arisen in the mind. If I then slip off into a medley of thoughts about that person, memories of scenes we've played out together, things I would like to say to him, that's 'wandering mind.'

This is being aware of the form that has arisen and not getting lost in the content. I can liken it to being aware that a memory has come up of something that somebody did that made me angry and the memory of anger arises. I'm aware of the anger; I'm aware of the memory. If mind, then, wants to jump in and talk about what could I have said or how could I have handled it differently, how angry I was that this person always does that, and so on and so forth, it's just chattering mind. I don't need to get involved in the story.

It's easier to understand this with the stories of memories and planning, the way a thought might arise, 'Company is coming for dinner.' You're sitting and meditating and suddenly that thought arises, 'Oh, what time is the company coming?' And suddenly, mind spins off into, 'Do I have the right food planned for dinner? Do I have enough of all of the ingredients I need? Is everything set?' 'Planning, planning, planning,' and on into the story.

Images are much the same thing. There's an image. We can go into the image in the sense of just being present with the image. It's very different if we get into the story of the image and start trying to figure it out. That pulls us out of meditation. My experience is that these images will clarify themselves if we just leave them alone. That doesn't mean avoiding it; it doesn't mean holding onto it. It means just noting it 'seeing, seeing, seeing,' the same way you would if your eyes were open. If my eyes are open and I see an elephant walk past, I might feel surprised, but I don't have to figure out, 'Gee, is there a circus in town? Where did the elephant come from? Is somebody leading it? Are they giving elephant rides?' I don't have to figure it out, just note, 'seeing, seeing, seeing.'

So, that's what we do with an image. Aaron just said because images can be so enticing and difficult to work with that he strongly suggests that the people new to practice simply note the seeing, and as it changes or dissolves, come back to the breath, and not try to work with images. As you become more practiced, then you can go deeper into the image and begin to let it unfold more.

There are very clear messages in the images. Sometimes they have a dreamlike quality. Sometimes we get into more images when we're almost falling asleep. At that point, you can simply ask yourself, 'Am I falling asleep?' If the image persists, then it's useful to find out what it's about, just like anything that persists. 'What is this?'

Question: (In Spanish) (Describes meditation experience.)

Barbara: That sounds like it was a very powerful experience. This is what we call an out of body experience, where we do literally leave our body and look down on ourselves. There are techniques where one can learn to do that. It's another kind of trick. When I say it's a trick, it can be a very powerful, very transformative experience. It can be, for many people, their first experience with seeing, 'I'm not this body.' And that's very valuable, but it can also be something we get attached to, almost addicted to, and it's not something we need to do. That experience of not being our body will come naturally in meditation.

My guess is that in that meditation with the Hindu teacher, you were using a fixed focus concentration, like a mantra. Were you? (Yes.) Mantra meditation or any fixed meditation practice will take you into many different kinds of altered mind states. A lot of people get addicted, almost, to those mind states. They're very peaceful, very beautiful states, but they don't resolve anything for us. They take us out of the present, out of our lives into some 'never never land.' They can be helpful in that, as I said, they can give you an experience, 'I'm not my body.' They can give you an experience of the kind of peace and blissfulness that is available to you in meditation. But then we have to ask, 'How can that peace be available to me right now, while I'm coping with severe body pain or loss of a loved one?' Insight meditation is the kind of practice that connects what we're doing here, that helps make peace available to you all the time and not just when you're in an altered mind state.

So, if you want to practice these kinds of mantra meditation and altered mind states, that's fine. They do enhance concentration. They're fun, if nothing else, and very peaceful at their best, but they do have limitations. This is technically called astral projection. Astral means out into the astral plane, projecting yourself from the physical plane to the astral plane. The mind moves into the astral plane. There's a sense that you're connected to your body by a thread, a silver cord, looking down at your body, looking down at everything. You can go everywhere. There's a freedom to it.

Question: (In Spanish) (About the safety of astral projection. Has heard one can get lost.)

Barbara: I've heard that question from many people. You cannot become detached from your body, I promise you. If you drift out of your body like that and something dangerous comes up, you're swept right back into your body. There's no danger to it at all. But, also, if you move into that deeper concentration, that's wonderful. Then, you need to learn how to focus your concentration in different ways. So, instead of moving into an out of body experience, you move into an experience that moves deeper into this whole mind/body connection. You have a choice there. At that point where concentration is that deep and you feel yourself slipping out of your body, if you simply note and label it 'slipping, slipping' or 'losing touch, losing touch' and come back to your breath with that powerful concentration, then you'll find that instead of following the astral projection path, your focus leads you deeper into the path of insight meditation. Astral projection is safe, though. You don't need to be afraid of it.

Question: The images I see sometimes feel and look so real. Can you talk about that?

Barbara: There are two ways that those kinds of pictures can present themselves. One may be a picture of a memory, conscious or subconscious. We store many memories, from this and even from past lives. We also all have the ability to be telepathic. There is a place where we all connect, the level of what might be called cosmic consciousness. Many different traditions give it different names. But, we really may see an image of something that's happening in that moment somewhere.

So, it can be either a conscious or subconscious memory, or a present image. In either case, if it's an unpleasant image or frightening in some way, the predominant thing in the experience is discomfort or fear. Instead of focusing on the image itself, focus on the sensation of fear. Simply note 'feeling fear, feeling fear, feeling fear.' Just allow yourself to be present with the fear. How does it feel in your body? Is your body contracting because of the fear? Note the way you want to escape from the fear, the unpleasant quality of the fear and how dislike grows out of the unpleasant quality, so that you need to retreat. In this way you don't get caught in the story of the image but remain in the present, in this experience of tension or contraction.

If wanting to retreat becomes predominant, simply note 'wanting to retreat.' Be with whatever is happening in that moment. It doesn't matter if it's an image or whatever it is. If it's something that's unpleasant and creating fear, fear is what is predominant and that's what you need to be with, not the image itself.

As example, while sitting maybe there's suddenly a strong cramp in your legs. Unpleasant. And then, with that pain, there's a strong desire to get away from the pain, a strong aversion to the pain. The aversion to the pain is not the pain itself. The fear about the image is not the image itself.

If the image is predominant, there's very little fear. If the pain is predominant, you're not feeling strong aversion. Once you're feeling strong aversion, the pain is no longer so predominant. Once you're feeling strong fear, the image is no longer predominant. Pain and image will still be there, but are no longer primary.

The instructions are very clear. As it changes or dissolves, come back to the breath. If it was pain and suddenly you're feeling strong aversion to that pain, you just note it as 'aversion, aversion,' and come back to your breath. If it was a strong image and then a fear of the image arises, or even attachment to the image, what is primary has changed. It's no longer the image, it's the fear or attachment. They carry their own energy and are very notable. You can feel them in the physical body. You simply note 'fear, fear, fear,' and come back to your breath. Alternately, you may note how you experience that pain or fear in your physical body, such as 'burning' or 'contraction.'

If the fear is still there or the aversion to the pain is still there and pulls you away from your breath again, then that's the primary object and you return to it. Then you just stay there with that fear or with that pain until it changes or dissolves.

We talk about two parts to deepening insight meditation practice. Let's pretend this is a brass bowl. I want to polish it. To do so, I've got to hold it and I've got to take a cloth and polish it, both. I can hold it forever, but if I don't go deep into it, I'm never going to polish it. I can polish it, but if I don't hold it, it just keeps moving away from me.

Focus is staying with whatever is primary. Fear, pain, whatever it may be. We hold it; we stay with it. We note mind's tendency, or even desire, to go elsewhere and stay firmly with the primary object. And then we have a willingness to simply go into it. By going into it, I don't mean trying to figure it out or trying to control it. I mean allowing oneself to really stay present with it and be present with whatever arises out of the fear, such as a sense of helplessness or an old memory. Be present with whatever arises. As it changes or dissolves, come back to the breath. It's an ongoing process. Do you understand? This is important.