April 25, 1993, Special Session

Aaron: I am Aaron. My love to you. What I wish to consider today is the whole question of ultimate reality, the paths we seem to take to understanding of ultimate reality and the fact that once we rest in ultimate reality, we know that we have never been anywhere else. While I have had many, many centuries to understand this, I have never before attempted to frame it in conceptual thought and to tie loose ends together. Rather than focusing my effort on a talk with smooth transitions, I wish to focus my effort on clear elucidation of the various compartments of this one whole understanding. Perhaps at the end I shall indulge in some cut and paste editing for smoother transitions. (Aaron did not do this; we have left the talk exactly as he presented it.)

There are many paths to understanding your true nature. I have spoken of the work on this plane being to move past reactivity to the emotional body. This is a 'chicken or the egg' question. When there is no delusion of solid self, there is no reactivity. From that free space of no reactivity there is no illusion of solid self. How we grow into these awarenesses is the work of various spiritual disciplines. These are merely many paths to the same end.

We have seen that there is no adhering karma when word, act, or thought grows from a place that is empty of self. We have also seen how difficult it is to stay in that place. You may meditate for hours resting in a space of deep egolessness. You emerge from your sitting, walk out the door, someone slaps your face or calls you a name and self returns, anger arises. How do we continue to rest in the higher awareness in the face of the many ego-solidifying catalysts of daily life?

To add further complexity to the situation, when there is one trying to remain egoless, you are already not egoless. Yet there must be effort. Who makes the effort? How is it offered?

There are many paths to understanding of ultimate reality and to the ability to rest in that ultimate reality and live from it. You are each unique and the most useful path for one is not helpful to another. Some schools of Zen, through the use of the koan, try to guide you into an instant of clear seeing of who you are. After that first enlightenment experience the work becomes paying attention to how ego again arises, watching it arise and reminding yourself of what is illusion, what is reality.

Vipassana takes a somewhat different path: the moment to moment penetrating awareness of the arising and dissolution of all phenomena, including the illusion of self. 'Self' is observed. A deeper level of being beyond the small self is experienced. Again, we recognize the places where we act from emptiness of self and how self arises. It is a similar path to Zen, simply the focus is different. Here we use the perceived self as the grounds for our exploration.

You know that I have faith in this path. It is not for all beings but, for those to whose way of being it appeals, it is a viable path. Furthermore, it is a path in which increasing understanding leads to increasing freedom and skillful living, even when there is not yet ultimate freedom. Simply put, it is a path which reduces suffering.

Vipassana does have its difficulties though. The practice of Vipassana begins where most practitioners are, which is deep within the illusion of duality. We, as subject, observe object. Even the breath may become an object. Here is the difficulty. When conscious mind 'I' observes the breath, can 'I' ever be fully in the experience of the breath rather than with the concept of the breath? The same question is valid regardless of the object, be it a cup, a tree, a fellow human, or one's joy or anger. The mind itself is limited. As long as mind is observing, there is a subject observing object. If there is subjective mind, old mind biases may arise. This locks us into the small-self mind, as differentiated from 'big mind.' Either way, there is still an illusion of duality.

Vipassana teaching can talk about transcending that delusion; the skilled meditation master can offer guidance. Other systems may offer other approaches. But ultimately, each being must find clarity for him/her self. So there is no 'best way' to introduce non-dual awareness. But it CAN be introduced.

Before proceeding, let me offer some further foundation. There are specific words for various types of consciousness. Rather than attempt these Pali words, let us simplify and generalize a bit. Let us simply call the observer, 'small mind' and that which arises as small mind's senses touch on sense object, let us call that 'consciousness.' Because the skandhas are a manifestation of ignorance and rebirth consciousness, the skandhas can never be free of self. This does not imply that there cannot be pure seeing, pure hearing, pure insight; but these arise from a different level.

The work that I have done with the class begins to allow the distinction between sense consciousness as being fully in this moment with no old mind bias, and sense consciousness which moves into old mind bias. Sense consciousness with no old mind bias does not grow out of the skandhas as we have come to know them, arisen through ignorance as delusion of self. Rather, this pure sense consciousness that does not move into old mind comes from what I would call pure awareness. Seeing is happening. There is no one seeing. Touching is happening. There is no one touching.

It must first be understood that this distinction exists, of consciousness and pure awareness. As you watch the shift from pure awareness, pure perception, into old mind bias, into liking or disliking, and on into mental formation, certain understandings begin to gel. You understand that perception can momentarily be free of old mind bias. You see this self solidify and dissolve over and over and over. Here is where effort enters. You ask yourself to work skillfully with your fear.

In the traditional Buddhist path, one has taken certain vows, agreed to live by precepts of non-harm and service to all beings. These vows serve as a foundation through which right effort flows. They are a reminder when fear arises, 'I will not become a slave to my fear and thereby offer reactivity which deepens suffering.' We work here without the formality of these vows, but with the supposed intention of students to offer non-harm at all times. Because I know each of you well, it is an adequate foundation.

So we see self solidify and dissolve. We become aware that there are moments of clear seeing. With practice you begin to dwell more continually in the moment, pure being in the experience of this moment, rather than in the concept which draws you out of the moment and into old mind. At those times of pure awareness, pure being, you are free. At those times you are enlightened. Adhering karma must grow from the illusion of self. In pure being there is no self. Thus, there is only non-adhering karma, nothing to plant seeds for rebirth.

Here is another place where Vipassana practice is limited. Traditional practice asks that we note even those times of egolessness and the states of bliss and connection which accompany egolessness. As soon as you note, you return to duality, observer, subject-object. Here is where I deviate from traditional Vipassana teaching. Yes, there must be skillful noting if there is attachment to bliss or connectedness. Liking does not necessitate attachment. Liking is not synonymous with attachment. Liking is a contributory condition to attachment and craving. Craving can not arise without liking or disliking. Craving cannot arise when you remain in neutral. But the move to like/dislike does not necessitate the arising of craving.

For craving to arise there must be both liking and fear. When that fear is noted and attended to so it dissolves, you are back with the bliss, liking the bliss, liking the state of dissolution of ego, but with no attachment to maintaining it. Can you see that as soon as there is desire to maintain it you're back to duality, a self desiring to maintain?

I deviate from traditional Vipassana instruction here, at this place where we begin to notice those glimmers of pure mind. Instead of observing, we simply rest in them. This is it! There is no place to go. This is the ultimate being-ness: nothing to do, no doing. Through various training methods, which I have begun to teach the class but will not elucidate here, we rest in that place of clarity until something pulls us out. One need only be awakened to the reality of that Pure Mind. Nothing to attain, just resting in what has always been there.

The effect on the experiencing human is this: if you were walking on a very rocky and rutted path high up on a mountain with a sheer slope dropping off, your perspective would be limited to each step, maintaining safety. You would be 'doing.' Resting in those moments of pure awareness is like being swooped up on the back of a giant bird. You lay there and see the whole path and then you move further out, expand outward, and the path itself becomes but a hairline in the mountains. Expand outward, the mountains become but a hairline in the continent. The continent, a small bit of the Earth. Outward. The Earth, one shining spot in this galaxy. And outward again. There is simultaneously the entire universe and this rock which must be carefully stepped over. One does not leave relative reality to experience ultimate reality. One observes that relative reality is a part of ultimate reality. But just a small part!

This combined awareness is what we are approaching. The first step to this awareness is cultivating those moments of pure awareness, learning to distinguish old mind perception from in-the-moment experience. So this learning is where our class is now. But this learning is only one step on the path toward clear awareness of our non-dual nature, of living from that non-dual perspective.

I have guided Barbara to an experience of standing astride a threshold. On one side, one foot rests in relative reality. That part of you is busy doing, observing, being mindful, using self-restraint when necessary so as not to harm. The other foot rests in ultimate reality in which there is nothing to attain, nothing to be gotten rid of, nothing to do, only pure awareness. It is here that the breath breathes itself, while on the other side we are busy observing the inhalation and the exhalation.

Most humans live in relative reality. If they practice a spiritual discipline there are likely to have been glimpses of ultimate reality. But there is a sense of an infinite wall separating these two experiences, as if you stood at such a real doorway and there was a solid barrier, infinite, between the right hand and the left hand. Our work with dependent origination is to familiarize one with the real existence of the ultimate reality side. Only after ultimate reality is not just glimpsed but rested in and taken as truth may one begin to truly live from that space.

This infinite barrier has an interesting aspect: it is only experienced as barrier from the relative reality side. When you shift enough away from conceptual mind and into pure mind that you are able to turn and look at this barrier from pure mind, you see it doesn't exist. It is total illusion created by the fearful solidified self of relative reality. The self thinks it's busy patching this wall. When you shift to look from the other side, the self's patches are transparent, there's nothing there. It is at this phase that you truly understand no duality: 'Form is emptiness, emptiness is form.' Darkness and the most brilliant light merge in dawn and in dusk. They are a part of each other.

I emphasize that your work is not to attain this view from the ultimate reality side of the threshold, but to continue to penetrate the arising of illusion, to continue to strip away the layers of ego, until you allow yourself to be where you have always been. You are not striving to become enlightened, you are allowing yourself to experience your natural enlightenment. It is a wonderful process through which you pass. That is all.

Question: Could Aaron give a brief description of the Christian path as he did with Zen and Vipassana?

Aaron: I am Aaron. I can speak to this, but not briefly. This is a path of opening the heart and allowing that open heart to lead you past ego and the defilements manifest by ego. It is a path of immersing yourself so deeply in God's light and love that that light and the accompanying grace of that light literally burn away the shadow side of the self. What emerges is the heart that knows its deepest connection with all that is: the Christ consciousness.

Both Zen and Vipassana practice, each in their own ways, lead one to transcend movement from ego by deepening awareness of the arising of ego. The Christian path leads one to transcend ego by deepening awareness of God and of love. As one comes to rest in that truth, ego becomes known as merely the shadowy substance of fear. It has no solidity; it falls away. This is vast oversimplification. It is a question we could perhaps dwell on at length at another time, speaking in depth about different spiritual paths.

Question: You spoke of 'various training methods' to learn to live from that space of 'pure awareness' and said you wouldn't list them here. Will you be teaching more of them to us?

Aaron: Yes, but not at this time. First is to introduce you to this Pure Mind, which we do continually. Then is the deeper recognition of that space and the practices to stabilize it. Until it is stable we can go no further.