Christmas Memories from Aaron

December 18, 1991

Aaron: … There's a complex law called karma-and I'm not going to get into it deeply tonight-but karma is, in essence, a law that says, "You reap what you sow." If you plant sour apple seeds, there's no way you're going to get a sweet apple tree, no matter how much you want sweet apples. The only way to get sweet apples is to plant sweet apple seeds. Karma is never punishment, but learning, offered learning. So, after a lifetime there is that karma that has adhered in that lifetime, which, in essence, directs you back … says, "This and this and this and this need to be worked on."

Why? Is somebody standing over you with a whip? No. When I say that you have to get back to that, there is still free will, even in karma, and this is sometimes misunderstood. You are evolving from what I call a "spark of God" into a fully evolved "sun" in your own right. That energy that you are that started as a bit of the Eternal is clarifying and purifying itself so that it may return as pure soul, as pure light, to the Eternal … but in a far more mature form than it left. To sit even in the shadows just beyond that light is bliss beyond telling. Each of you, at a higher self level, yearns to return to that light. Your conscious mind may be unaware of that, but this is what you are working toward and within you is the wisdom to understand that in order to return fully mature to that light you must clarify the shadow within you, the impurity, the misunderstanding.

Karma means "action," and every act results in karma of some sort, some of it being "adhering" karma and some of it, "non-adhering" karma. It's only the adhering karma that brings you back for another lesson. It's a way of the universe saying to you, to this bit of energy that you are, "This still needs work." And since your effort is to purify this energy that you are, from the spirit plane, when you see that this or that still needs work, you willingly move into it.

Yes, there is suffering in this life, and also joy. And some of you wonder, "Why, from the spirit plane where all is peaceful, if I don't have to move back to this plane, why would I do so?" Because of that yearning, that aspiring. It's not a grasping; it's not a "trying to get something" … because to "get something" implies that there's a self that is "getting," and this is a level of being far beyond self or ego. It's a full knowing of what you are, of the divinity of your nature … and the desire to express that divinity as purely as you can, not for yourself, but for all life, for all beings, on every plane … because every bit of light, of purified energy, that shines from each of you adds light to the entire universe. It is the ultimate way of serving others: to purify yourself.

… which leads me to the talking that I promised about that being who was known as Jesus. Some of you have heard me talk about him before. I'm not going to repeat last year's message but to build on it. This is my own sense of who he was and why he was here. I've said that each time you purify your own light, it's a way of serving others. This is a being whose light was already fully purified. He had no need to come back and incarnate, and yet, he willingly did so as a way of serving others. Those of you who have heard me talk about him before have heard some stories. Some of you one, and some another.

Last year, I believe, I spoke about being present in that part of the world at the time of his birth. No, I did not see him, but I was the son of a shepherd-a very young boy tending sheep on a hillside-and there was that star. Not only a star, but the air was filled with angelic presences. Now, that, in itself, isn't unusual. The air is often filled with spirits, and with loving spirits. What was unusual was the strength of this being, that even those who would have been skeptical of the existence of such a being could sense the strength of energy that was present, and the love. And so, many were in awe of this being, having some sense that this was someone special. Had he encouraged that opinion, he could have grown into a very powerful being and wielded his power for his own gratification. It would have been easy to do because there was much awe, just about his birth. And yet, he went to great ends to do the opposite.

I knew him as a young man. My father brought me to see him. When I was grown and my father older-and, of course, he was also grown, and my father an old man. At that first seeing, I became totally devoted to him. I was a simple shepherd-I was not a teacher nor a wise man of any sort-but I knew that this was a being that I would follow anywhere. He simply radiated peace and love. And yet, he did not make use of that for his own power. To me, this was one of the most essential things about him. I know that stories are told of the miracles that he did, but far more important are the much "quieter" miracles he performed.

I came to him once, traveling for many days. He had been traveling at that time, traveling to a part of the country near where I was, and that was why I was able to come and see him. On my way I was stopped by outlaws … robbers. They took my extra clothing. They took my shoes. They left me with only what would be similar to a loincloth and a small bit of water. In that way I traveled two more days over wilderness terrain. When I reached his encampment, he knew me; he had seen me before and remembered me. My feet were bleeding and I was very, very thirsty.

Yes, he could do miracles. I suppose he could have touched me and healed my feet, but he didn't do that. Instead, he sat me down and provided some food and water. And then, with his own hands, he washed my feet and bandaged them. They were so badly cut that it should have taken ten days or more for them to heal. And yet, in three or four days, they were healed. I didn't even wonder about it then. I thought my healing power within myself had done this. And yet, now, as I look back, of course I recognize that it was his work.

Had he miraculously healed them, I would have been in awe of him, and he didn't want that. He didn't want blind devotion. It is this quality of him that, perhaps, I most cherished as I knew him in that lifetime: he understood that he was human. Yes, he was divine, but he was also human. And he did not want to be worshipped as a god. For a god to teach forgiveness, to teach that one should turn the other cheek and love those who torment one, people could say, "Well, that's fine for you to say, but you're not human." But the point is that he was human, fully human. He felt the same pain as any other human. He had the same desire for acceptance and for love as any other human. But he, more than any other being in history, clearly understood the nature of his divine spirit.

Now, I tell you that every being is of the same nature. The same divine spirit resides in each of you. No, you are not fully evolved as he was. You still have karma that needs to be resolved. You are not yet beyond the astral plane as he was. And you have not come back just for love. But, nevertheless, your essence is no less holy, no less perfect and beautiful. It is this that seems to me most wonderful about it, that he knew that to be an effective teacher it had to be realized that he was human and that, far more often than not, he emphasized that humanness. He let people see that he bled when he was cut. He let people see that he felt pain when there was pain, and that he still could forgive and could love.

The epitome of this is his death. Certainly, one as powerful as he could have avoided such a painful death if he had so chosen. What would have happened to all that he taught if he had escaped that death and had allowed himself to become a powerful king whom many idolized? Could the message of love have been as clearly taught? Is there any way it could have been as clearly taught than through those beautiful words as he died in agony: "Forgive them, for they know not what they do"?

How can we follow that message with our hearts today … learning the lessons of forgiveness, as one very beautiful human being taught them? That truly is the challenge of all of our lives: to learn that level of love, unconditional love, and compassion and forgiveness … to truly have peace in our own hearts so that the infinite power of the Eternal may flow through us to all that is. I will stop here and would welcome your questions. That is all.

Q: Aaron, you keep helping me to learn to be accepting of my anger. And you just ended the talk about Jesus saying, "May we have peace in our hearts so that love may flow through us." Could you speak to that? It's the core of the confusion I feel.

Aaron: Are you feeling anger any the less when you're trying to get rid of it than when you're acknowledging it? My point is simply that if there's anger, then there's anger. Unless you have compassion for the being that's feeling anger, then you're not learning compassion. When you move through this process of compassionate awareness, you come to a point where the self that's feeling the anger begins to dissolve into the totality of all that is. And with that dissolution of self, the anger itself dissolves. You begin to laugh at it, to see that there's nothing separate from you, that that which seemed to be a catalyst for the anger is simply an extension of your own energy. But to allow that process to happen, first there has to be awareness and opening.

When you are feeling the type of anger that makes you want to hurt another, no, you cannot serve as fully as a channel for light, love. But anger doesn't stay with you at that intensity-it comes and goes. Each time it appears, each time it arises, when you deal with it lovingly-not condoning unskillful action toward the catalyst for anger, but accepting, with compassion, this being who is feeling hurt, feeling frightened-each time you set a new pattern, reinforce a new pattern, of loving acceptance of all that is. So, when you see another being who is frightened and acting angry, instead of judging that being, you feel compassion for it-the kind of compassion that Jesus showed on the cross, asking not for his own moving past pain, but for forgiveness for those who did not know what they did or acted out of fear.

Each time you practice it, you move a bit closer. You don't have to get rid of the anger-anger will dissolve naturally with the light of awareness. That doesn't mean it won't come up again and again and again. As long as you're in a human body, you're likely to experience some anger, but the intensity of it will lessen. The length of time that you're caught in it will lessen … not because there's a "getting rid of" but because there's complete equanimity about whatever comes through, even anger. At that point of loving equanimity, yes, you are a very clear channel for light, even when feelings arise in you. Your heart is so open that there's loving acceptance for your own feelings and for any being's, and your light shines brilliantly, and that of the light which flows through you flows freely. Does that answer your question?

Q: Three questions. What was the date and time of Jesus birth? What can you tell us about Jesus' training in the mystery schools? I had a dream about Jesus cleaning my feet, only he was actually cleaning them out with a metal scoop, removing fat from inside the arches. It felt good, like scratching an itch. I knew I would be able to walk on them right away without pain, even though they were sliced open. What was the purpose of the dream? Part of it, to me, seemed to be about making me a better actor. My feet felt open all the next day.

Aaron: I really cannot speak to the first two questions. Remember, I was an uneducated six year old boy. I don't suppose even my father could have told you the date. Perhaps, what phase the moon was in, what year of that life. I cannot even tell you how many years I lived, nor what year I was born. From my perspective now as spirit, of course, I can read details of this sort through the akashic records, but I find no need to do so. I am more concerned with the fact that this human lived than the specific details concerning his life and whether this or that one can be proved. I also know nothing of his youth. I was present nearby at the time of his birth and knew that something special had occurred.

My next meeting with him was when I was a mature man. He was familiar with the practice of meditation. He learned that practice in the East. He was able to move freely into a jhanic state-that is a state of deep concentration-and understood the practice of that, and also understood that that could be an escape, and did not indulge himself in that practice. But he understood it well. From my own experience with him in that lifetime, I saw him meditate and recommend the practice of meditation, not only prayer but meditation, to others. I did not know on an intellectual level anything about what he taught, and he did not speak of such things often. It was part of his own training, which went into making him what he was, not part of what he taught to others. What he taught was very simple: forgiveness. Open your heart and love. Know God's presence within each being, and relate to everything through its divinity.

Your dream. Dreams may be interpreted in many different ways. Sometimes a dream of such a figure is in reality a memory, a past life memory of that having happened to you. More often, it is symbolic. I can't tell you which is so here, so you'll have to listen to my thoughts and decide for yourself which is most applicable.

In a typical symbolic dream every being in the dream is an aspect of yourself. If it is a male and you are male, it's an aspect of your conscious self. If the other being is a female and you are male, it's an aspect of your subconscious self. The fact that this being in the dream was Jesus means that it is a very wise aspect of yourself. The feet are a foundation, of sorts, are that upon which you stand, upon which you walk. They carry you, they support you. When there is something wrong with the feet, it may indicate an awareness of weakness in the foundation.

You say there was a cutting away of that which was not only unnecessary, but which was deteriorating the foundation, weakening it … a cutting away of that by a deeply wise and loving aspect of yourself, and allowing healing in and a strengthening of the foundation. Even though it was cut away, you could still walk on it, and it felt better and brought you joy. I have a sense that in your daily life at the time of this dream, you were also "cutting away" at some level, cleaning up the foundation, in a sense, and strengthening it, and that this is symbolically what the dream spoke of … perhaps giving yourself permission to do this work, which may have been difficult or painful.

I emphasize that this is the usual symbolic form for a dream of this sort, but that it is possible that in some way it was a past life memory, and you will need to decide that for yourself.

Q: When did you first learn of the death of Jesus? At the time, what significance did you assign to his death? When, after Jesus' death, did you first learn that his followers continued to meet and preserve his teachings? Did you ever join them?

Aaron: While I was a simple shepherd, I also felt myself to be a disciple of his. What he taught spoke more to my heart than anything I had ever heard anywhere, and I tried to follow his teachings and to share them with others. In this way, I became very much of a follower of his and, at a certain point in my life, left my shepherding to be with him. I was not one of his center core of disciples. I was a very simple being in that lifetime and I had fear for myself. I had love for this being who was Jesus, yet, I also had an ego and a sense of self and fear.

I was not present at his death, but I knew he had been captured. I knew that he would be put to death. People who knew that I had been a follower of his directed officials to ask me, and I must admit that I denied him. I said I did not know him out of fear for myself. The tremendous guilt and fear I felt about that led me away, as far away as I could get at that point. It was not until later, several weeks later-having spent most of those weeks alone in prayer and meditation-that I understood what I had done and what I needed next to do.

At that point, yes, I joined those who had been his followers and who continued his teachings. I found that there were many others who had done as I had done and who also felt guilt, and who had also learned the true depth of his message of forgiveness through that guilt, and the necessity to forgive ourselves. It was his final gift to me in that lifetime. His death, and my own fear that led me to deny knowing him, is what led me to really understand his message of forgiveness.

Q: Jesus experienced a "dark night of the soul" just as St. John of the Cross did. I seem to be experiencing a modern form of this concept. Can you speak of this?

Aaron: I would say that that dark night is an essential step in your growth. The soul yearns to return to God, to be part of God, and yet, feels itself to be fully unworthy of God. The dark night is the period of being present with that sense of unworthiness, and it is through that experience that one finally comes out to the light at the other end … to knowing that you always have been worthy and are fully worthy. Until you question your worthiness to that depth of despair, you cannot really understand the essence of God which is in you, and that you've never been away from God in the first place, that the whole separation had been an illusion. You can know that on an intellectual level, but it is this dark night that pulls you through the process of knowing on an experiential level that you are within God and God is within you, and of finding the healing to know your full worthiness on the spiritual plane.

St. John of the Cross expresses this very beautifully. He says that the soul who knows God finds itself unworthy of God. And yet, because of the depth of its love, it persists in reaching out, aspiring, to be part of that which it so fully loves. And, through this process, it finds the courage and inspiration to purify itself.

At times, the darkness may be very dark indeed, and there's something else I would speak to here. One of the things you are learning on this plane, all of you in human incarnation, is faith. Some of you have asked me in the past, "Why does this veil of forgetting fall into place? Why am I not given clear seeing of who I am? When I take incarnation, why do I need to lose that?" And I've said that if you retained that clear seeing and knew fully who and what you were, then your growth would not be a matter of learning faith, but of how well self-disciplined you were.

If you aspire to be an athlete or a dancer, you must undertake rigorous physical training. You have a clear picture of where you want to get, where you are now, and what steps are necessary. One doesn't promise that you'll be the best athlete or dancer, but to reach that height of physical condition is a matter of self-discipline: "I know this is what I have to do, so I'll do it." If it was as simple as that, as clear as that, then, rather than faith, what you'd be learning is control, self-discipline. And yet, in a sense, what you're being asked to learn is to give up control-not to be undisciplined, but to let go of your will and to know that His will for you is always what you most need.

A friend of mine puts it very beautifully when he says, "You are an actor in a play. Can you read your lines as best you can and leave the script to God?" This doesn't deny free will. You always have free will, but you have the most freedom when your free will is the decision: I will trust; as dark as it may seem, this is the path I see I need to follow and trust. Not my will but Thy will be done. That is the greatest freedom that one can move into. So, through the darkness, you are offered the opportunity to practice and learn faith. That is all.

Q: Christians accept Jesus as a higher being and Jews do not. Have Christians moved to a plane beyond Jews?

Aaron: My friend, do you suppose that you have always been a Jew or a Christian, Moslem, Buddhist or any other in every lifetime? In one lifetime, you were a Christian. In one, you were a Jew. In one, a Sufi. In one, a Native American practicing the religion of that culture. Every religion with a foundation of love is a viable path to graduation from this plane. Every religion …

Those of the Jewish faith in this incarnation, who do not accept Jesus as the son of God, may still find great love for him and what he taught. Those who do not, that's fine. They are then asked to learn about love and forgiveness without the inspiration that Jesus offered, and that's an even harder task.

Jesus is quoted as having said, "None may come to the Father but through me." This quote had been widely misinterpreted by those who use it for the power of the church to be assumed to mean that one must take Christ as one's personal savior in order to move to God. I would suggest that that's not what he meant at all, that his "through me" was not meant as personal "through me." He meant through what I teach, through this path of forgiveness, acceptance, love, and especially through the living of the Christ Consciousness which may also be labeled Buddha Nature or Pure Mind. None may come to the Truth but through the opening of the personal self to its own deepest truth of non-separation, of love. That is the way for the soul to come up, and none may go there but through that path, learning the lessons of love as exemplified in his life. Do you wish me to speak further on this or is my answer sufficient?

Q: To me, it seems that his painful death was somewhat in vain since those who learned the lesson did regardless, and yet many in his name killed, raped, etc. and so did not learn it.

Aaron: Please don't forget that his life and his death spoke not only to those who were alive at the time of his death, but to each succeeding generation. Thus, the message of his life may have spoken to each of you many, many times in different incarnations. Those who have been murderers and rapists in one incarnation are learning, slowly, the lessons of love. At the time when they're ready to hear this message, then they will be moved by it, touched by it.

Each of you is making the growth from service to self to service to other. There are what I would call "negatively-polarized" entities and "positively-polarized" entities. No being is totally negative. Only the being that has reached the level of pure soul, total clarity of light, is completely positive. And yet, there are beings that are very negative and beings that are very positive. Those beings that are considered negative work mostly in service to self. Those who are more positively-polarized are more service to others. Most beings are a mixture of the two.

Within yourself, if you look, you see fear arising and a need to care for and serve yourself, and you also see the desire to serve others, the heart opening in love. You are evolving from, perhaps, a balance of fifty-fifty to a more clearly positively-polarized being, perhaps seventy-thirty or eighty-twenty. But there will still be moments of service to self, of fear, of hatred, even in beings that are largely positively-polarized. So, your many lives are a progression of becoming increasingly clear in your energy, increasingly positively-polarized. At that point where you're fifty/fifty-fifty-one/forty-nine, perhaps, just a bit more positive-but ready to hear the message of love, to be inspired, to move toward service to others, then you hear it. If not in this lifetime, then the next one or the one after that or the one after that. It is a timeless message.

Q: Were there other teachers on the level of Jesus and the Buddha? Is there one incarnate today?

Aaron: We're speaking of two different types of beings here. In one, we have a being who had already moved beyond the need to return to this plane and chose to come back as a matter of love. In the other, we have a being who reached that depth of understanding that he not only graduated from this plane, but, in one leap, bypassed the need to move through fourth and fifth density, as he totally dissolved even the emotional body while on this plane. As such, the Buddha is a beautiful example and inspiration of what one can learn through human form, of the preciousness of human birth. The Buddha became, in that final lifetime, what Jesus already was when he came to that final lifetime.

Yes, there have been other such beings-some in recorded and some in pre-recorded history. None have become well known. And yet, such beings have always inspired those around them, even if it was only a small group of people. What strikes me as important here is that an essential part of both the Christ and the Buddha's lifetimes was their intent to teach others. Jesus returned to teach. There have been others who have not made that decision outwardly to teach, not because of negative polarity but through a clear understanding: "My work lies elsewhere; I share who and what I am with those around me … but upon leaving this plane, after the death of this body, my work lies elsewhere." There are many such teachers on my plane.

I am talking here about beings … Let's go back to this question of density again. In fourth and fifth density, there are still the vestiges of an emotional body. In sixth density … I use the term "density" here as a description of the density of the energy, how much shadow and how much clarity there is in it. Sixth density is the level of the higher self: there's no more emotional body at all. And yet, there is still a self; there is still personal awareness and memory. Seventh density is the beginning of moving beyond the self. The mental body also begins to fall away. There must be a tool of "self" in order to teach others. Pure awareness cannot manipulate that awareness so as to teach. The being who is capable of moving into seventh and then into eighth density, manifesting its energy as the pure spirit body returned to the awareness of full union with God-the being ready for seventh density who elects to stay in sixth density so that it can function as a teacher for others is doing what Jesus or the Buddha did.

Buddhism has a term for such beings. There is a word, "Bodhisattva." This is one who recognizes the suffering in the universe and is willing to come back to incarnation over and over again, rather than finding its own freedom … coming back to serve others. That's one level-to be willing to return to third density. Another form of Bodhisattva is one willing to remain in sixth density.

That spirit that became Jesus was a sixth density being at the time that it agreed to come back. It was a sixth density being fully ready to move into eighth density, and held itself in sixth density only because of its desire and willingness to serve others. It knew that it would progress beyond sixth density when its work was done, but that it needed that mental body in order to continue its service. Following that final incarnation, the Buddha moved to that same level, and that being could also have progressed, but chose not to do so, but remained for some time to teach.

There are many beings who are capable of moving into seventh and eighth densities, and who yet remain at sixth density. Some of those beings moved to sixth density through third and fourth and fifth density, not quickly as the Buddha did. So, perhaps, there was nothing that remarkable about them on Earth except that they became ready to graduate, as many beings do, into fourth density … that there was no more karmic need to incarnate. They became more remarkable when they reached this level of sixth density and were ready to progress into seventh density and said, "No, I am willing to remain with this to serve." In your terminology, such beings are thought of as angels. That is the closest definition for the word "angel" that I can offer: a being of sixth density that does not progress of its own free will, but stays in sixth density to be of service to others.

Each of you has within you all the light and love of the universe. I would like you to try this very simple meditation.

Breathing in, I am aware of the love within my heart …

Breathing out, I send that love to all who are in need of love.

Of course, the words are too long to fit the breathing pattern, so simply think it as breath flows:

Breathing in, I am aware of the heart of love within me …

Breathing out, I send that love where it's most needed.

In and out, at your own pace.

(Long pause while we do.)

I wish you a Christmas season of healing, joy and wonder. That is all.