Volume 1, Number 2, April 1993

Contents

Barbara's Letter

Aaron's Pages

February 22, 1993, Ann Arbor, MI. Excerpt.

March 11, 1993, Ann Arbor, MI

Bulletin Board

Book Reviews

Notes

Dear Friends,

The first crocuses and snowdrops are showing through the mud and snow. It's a joy to walk in the meadows, so recently frozen white, and see the new life emerging. As I walk, I remember a stanza of a song my children taught me:

… just remember in the winter, far beneath the bitter snows,
lies the seed that, with the sun's love, in the spring becomes the rose.

Pondering those seeds that lie dormant in myself and in all of us, the seeds of faith, joy and peace, of deep wisdom and compassion, I ask how I can bring the "sun's love" to those seeds and better nurture their growth.

I've had an interesting experience this winter which I'd like to share. It's about the nurturing of a seed, this one of faith and equanimity. As most of you know, I sent out a newsletter last December, new in format with our new computer. I asked for support for the enlarged newsletter and our work if it was meaningful to you, and for transcribers for Aaron's tapes. Your outpouring of love, interest and support was amazing! For some weeks, I was getting 10 or 12 letters a day with requests for books and information, and simple affirmation for the newsletter and our work.

So here I sat with exactly what I'd hoped for and some astonishment at the fear in me because I was drowning in the deluge! The second week after the mailing, I awoke Sunday morning at 3 AM with a sense that I needed to rush out of bed, meditate and get to work on this stack of correspondence and requests.

Arise I did, but at least I had better sense than to attack the mail. I saw that it was just that, attack! So I meditated for quite a while. What was this all about? I knew I was feeling overwhelmed and out of control. Could I just let myself feel that? What is it to feel overwhelmed? Exactly what was happening?

I saw the places of wanting to please others, to be good, helpful. Nothing wrong with that except we can't always do it. Wanting to be helpful is fine; needing to be helpful creates a lot of suffering. From what fears does such need arise? How do we see that need and not react to it but just let it be and watch it as it changes? Can we see the difference between the fears that precede the needing and the needing as reaction to fear? One area of surprise was that I thought I was past this kind of reaction. Are we ever? The universe keeps tossing quizzes our way! There's a favorite line of mine in a poem by Kabir: "We are all struggling, none of us has gone for. Let your arrogance go and look around inside…" Humility!!!

I realized how much I was trying to control all this flow. I had to respond; I had to write, file, mail … Yet I know this is not my work. I'm just the channel, not just for Aaron but for all of this. I am a stream bed, not the stream.

I'd learned this long ago in terms of money. Money is meant to be re-circulated, not held onto. It flows through me and is there when it's needed. Working on a donation basis as I do, this lesson has really been hammered in. My expenses for mailings, computer repair, tapes, and such in January had exceeded $2000 and I wasn't feeling any fear about it. I know if this is spirit's work, and meant to flow, the resources will be provided. My job is to ask, not to grasp.

So how had I gotten so far off base? I wasn't seeing that the flow of energy was just a resource governed by the same principle. Money does manifest as needed because I know that money isn't mine and have no need to control it. I was cutting off the supply of energy by acting as if it were mine. When we do that, our fear draws us into ourselves. Simply put, the abundance of the universe, however that is expressed, cannot flow through us when fear creates a self separate from the universe. This does NOT mean that if we're poor we're doing something wrong and are therefore bad. Rather, our struggles may serve as a gentle (or not so gentle!) reminder to look and ask, "What is this fear?"

I sat for several hours that morning, seeing this clearly, looking at my own fears of being inadequate that led me to such separation, sending love to this very fallible human that I am. It was a strong reminder: I am NOT running this show. I only work here. This is spirit's work. I'm not servant or master but co-creator. I channel, I teach, I write, I ask for the help we need. And then I have to stand back and trust. I'm happy to say that, seeing all this, I then went back to bed and slept soundly for a few hours!

That week I began to ask for help. Within a few days we had a few people filing, updating mail lists, mailing books and newsletters. Trust! Aaron and I talked a lot about this. The next month he spoke to a group that were beginning service projects. Part of his transcript for that talk is in the "Aaron" pages.

We work on so many levels. The mundane is just one, "me" doing this or that. There may be good in it and that's fine, but there is still me, a doer. Can it happen without "me"? What's the difference, in the end?

As we look carefully at karma, we may understand this better. You may think of karma as the planting of a seed. Every word, act or thought creates karma. There is that within karma called the active moment, the planting of the seed out of which the next moment grows. The technical name is viññana, or rebirth consciousness. When there is a strong sense of self, a me or doer, the seed planted reflects that self. Aaron says the universe offers us that upon which we focus. When the focus is on being a good servant, helper or whatever, the self is solidified. That solid self reflects back and creates the next moment (or lifetime, but we also may think of each moment as a kind of lifetime). Thus, if I aspire truly to serve, but still with the delusion of a self that's doing the service rather than being service by allowing myself to be a channel for it and not a doer of it, there may still be good that grows out of it, but simultaneously, the illusion of self and of separation is strengthened.

There are different kinds of karma. One division is "wholesome/unwholesome," those words, acts and thoughts that create situations of connection, lovingkindness, and support for ourselves and others/those that sow seeds of disharmony, separation, fear and pain. Another distinction in types of karma is adhering/non adhering. All unwholesome karma is adhering. It plants the seeds that lead us back into re-experiencing. Wholesome karma may be either, depending on what degree of self is there.

Remember that we are human, our motives never entirely pure, and that's fine. As Aaron reminds us, "You are not expected to be perfect; if you were already perfect you would not need to be here in incarnation. Your misunderstandings, seen with the heart of awareness, teach you." There may be pure desire to serve others, the homeless for example. We get involved in a program and one day as we're helping to repair a building for a homeless shelter, the thought comes through, "Aren't I good?" Can we be gentle to ourselves and remember that this is okay? But the thought does contain that seed of delusion, me as the doer. The best we can do is to watch carefully for the arising of that self and smile at these humans we are who keep falling into that particular delusion, wanting the comfort of being "the good one." It's part of the human experience!

The more aware we are, the more we notice the solid self, see the seeds of fear from which it grows, and send love to that fear. We are not getting rid of fear, but nurturing the seeds of truth! There's no "getting rid of" here. That only further solidifies self. There is just compassion for the fearful human, and an opening heart that makes room for the fear and is increasingly willing to let it be.

Then our wholesome acts become the grounds for practice of seeing self and not needing to get caught in that self, over and over, moving increasingly into that space of purest being rather than doing. It is here that we finally do become channels for the kindest and most loving energy of the universe, no self reflected, no karmic seeds planted, just empty vessels through which lovingkindness may flow. I understand with increasing compassion to myself that I'm never going to be perfect at it. I feel gratitude for the catalysts in my life, most recently this outpouring of mail, that give me the opportunity to practice. So keep it coming; I've most certainly not mastered this lesson yet!!!

Aaron's pages go deeper into the above from his perspective. There's a calendar on page 7. Pages 8 and 9 are new this month, giving retreat/workshop information (if any) for your area, and "Bulletin Board" with announcements, book reviews, and words from some of you.

Thanks to those of you whose financial support covered our $900 printing and mailing costs for the December newsletter. We also bought 300 blank tapes, enough to see us through a few months, and sent out over 30 free Aaron books to prisoners, elderly friends and others who requested one but could not afford to buy it. We presently have an $700 bill for computer repair (for the old computer which contains our mailing list and all the past transcripts) and memory upgrade for the new one, and a wish list that includes new amplifier and recording equipment to replace our present sound system-an aging $29 Radio Shack tape recorder. Donations will pay for this edition of the newsletter, support all of this work and allow it to continue.

Thanks also to all of you who have offered to transcribe. We've sent out tapes to most of you, all the tapes back through this January. More are coming to those waiting for one. Now we are digging into the backlog. People here are listening to old tapes that contain only a date, to see what's static-free and of highest value. Local friends, we need listeners! And we continue to welcome new transcribers.

I'd also value office help, any amount of time you're able to give, occasionally or regularly, to process these wonderful transcripts coming in, mail out books and newsletters, and update mailing lists.

My love to all of you. May all of your gardens flourish!

with love,
Barbara

My greetings and love to you. I appreciate this opportunity to speak to so many of you and to choose among past tapes those which I feel would be most beneficial to share. It is a difficult choice because no two of you are identical in your paths and your needs. Yet certain questions and issues do recur frequently. As is familiar to those of you who know me, my first choice of subject is not the myriad metaphysical questions of the curious seeker, but the basic issues that relate to living this incarnation with greater love, faith and wisdom. There is nothing wrong with those metaphysical questions. I respect your curiosity and there are many fascinating areas to probe. But many of you move off on such intellectual sidetracks and neglect the main focus of the incarnation, or perhaps choose to escape that focus because it has been painful. You are here in human incarnation, not to deny the incarnation but to embrace it. How do you learn to love this imperfect body, and the emotions and thoughts which are often uncomfortable? How do you open the heart that has been closed? How do you move in the direction of deepening compassion for all that you are and hence to unconditional love and non-judgment of others? With apologies to those who are dissatisfied, these are the questions on which I choose to focus in these pages.

As you read my words, please remember that I am not omniscient. I do not claim my teaching to be Truth with a capital T but only to be truth as I understand it. If it rings true to you and helps you gain understanding, use it. If not, throw it away. I thank you for allowing me to share my thoughts. My love to each of you as we walk this path together.

Aaron

The following pages are transcribed from channeling sessions. They have been edited by Aaron to fit them into the four pages available. Some additions have been made by Aaron for clarity in these adaptations from longer transcripts.

February 22, 1993, Ann Arbor, MI. Excerpt.

(The question was about our work in the world, doing service oriented projects.)

Aaron: I am Aaron. I want to return to this old topic, being versus doing. You all have work in your lives that you consider to be important, yet you are aware that the work itself is only part of the entirety of what is happening, that there are many simultaneous levels of experience. Some of you are parents, teachers, healers, mechanics, builders, artists or administrators. In whatever capacity, your work touches others' lives and you wish that work to be as pure as possible. And yet there is the trap. When you strive to make that work pure, that someone striving creates separation. How do you work with this self that wants to do good for others and also the self that fears and wants for itself?

I want to begin with some brief statements about karma. There is what is commonly called wholesome and unwholesome karma, those mind states, acts and words which plant seeds for peaceful fruit or struggle, for connection or separation, for harm to beings or non-harm. I believe you all understand this. There is also what we may call adhering karma, which is that karma, wholesome or unwholesome, which results when there is a self that is doing. In short, adhering karma arises when there is ignorance and delusion that proclaims an independent self as doer or thinker. No matter whether the karma is wholesome or unwholesome, it still draws that self back into the next moment or lifetime. It does so because, no matter how loving and wholesome the intention, when there is self, the act, word or thought cannot be entirely pure.

Think of a glass of pure, clear water. Drop into it one drop of red color. The entire water is tinged. If you want pure water, you will have to try again.

Non-adhering karma grows out of freedom from the delusion of self. From that space, it cannot be unwholesome, for we cannot harm others when there is no self or other, nor can we act in self-harm when we know our fundamental connection. Simply hold this information in the back of your mind as I speak.

For all of you, there are a multitude of ideas you have about who you are. Caught in the illusion as you are, you see the human and it seems the deepest reality at times. Then meditation may take you to a deeper place of connection and emptiness of self and that perspective seems to be truth. In fact, my dear ones, both are truth. You are spirit. You are human. I call you angels in earthsuits. What does that mean?

You are divine; it is as simple as that. The essence of you is eternal, perfect, beautiful. If your energy were entirely pure you would always manifest that perfection. But the energy, expressed through the human mind and body, cannot be entirely pure. And that lack of perfection is not only acceptable, but perfect. Why would you be here if the energy was already expressed with perfect purity?

You began as a spark of the Eternal, a tiny bit of all that is. Your incarnations allow the opportunity to expand that spark, to breath greater radiance into it. You are incarnate with all the bodies, not just the spirit body. These other bodies are of a heavier density, a slower vibration. Slowly you lighten them and increase the vibration until the whole being-body, mind and spirit-resonates to the same chord. In this way, you purify the energy that you are.

The earth suit is your tool for this work. Spirit cannot be separated from the home in which it dwells. Otherwise, you lose the tool for learning. With what would you practice if not with the catalysts of the earth plane against which you so struggle? It Is said of astral plane beings who find themselves on the heaven planes that there is no ground for practice. Eventually they must take rebirth as human to continue their learning.

What is important for you to allow is that, even when the spirit body manifests energy with great purity, the human with it's fear intervenes and creates distortion. Again, this is NOT a problem. You are here to learn. If you were already perfect, you would have no need for this incarnation. Allow the arising of fear to remind you to have faith, the arising of anger to remind you to have compassion.

How does this idea translate into practical experience? Let us suppose you have a deep desire to serve others, to do some work which will alleviate some suffering in the world. Let us also suppose that part of this desire comes from a very pure place in you, a place of deepest love, connection and compassion for the suffering you see. Energy manifested by that desire will be pure, no self in it. But in creeps the fearful voice asking, "What about me?" or just noting "I'm doing good!"

In the first instance, there is non-adhering karma, until fear arises, or pride, or some other vestige of self. Then, as long as the acts are in loving service and without intention of harm, there is still wholesome karma, but suddenly it's sticky! You move continually from one form to another.

Unwholesome karma enters here, because when fear arises and the act, word or thought loses its absolute purity, there may be hidden, self-serving agendas. With "self" there is always defending which may lead to subtle intentions, if not to harm, at least to grasp and to protect. As soon as there is self, there is other. As soon as there is other, there is fear-I could be harmed, or, my needs may not be met. Then there may be subtle intention to protect self at the expense of other. How, then, can adhering karma be avoided, much less unwholesome karma? How can there ever be freedom when this fearful mind keeps usurping the power from the connected heart?

First, is there a war between the mind and the heart, between love and fear? Is there grasping to be free? There is no war. This is part of the confusion that holds you in this cycle of birth and death. Everything in this mind/body experience is part of the plan, part of the catalyst to teach you who you are, including your fear, including the heavy emotions, including physical discomfort. No, you do not need fear, anger or pain to learn. But if it is there, you also have no need to get rid of it. Granted, you are more comfortable without it. As an incarnate being, you are never going to be totally without it. Instead of waging war, can you befriend it?

This is the question with which we so often work-how do we befriend fear? When you observe the arising of fear and then try to rid yourself of fear, you enter into a dialogue with fear. As you bargain with fear, it gains a firm grasp on you. When you notice fear and refuse to dialogue with it, it cannot control you. You nod to it and let it be. You come to know fear as the ultimate illusion.

With "self" there is always defending but you also are not here to get rid of self. To have such a doer intent on ridding only further solidifies self. Rather, you are here to develop such deep compassion for the human, such unconditional love, that there is space for all this heaviness. How does this happen? Please be patient with me if I mention my favorite word, awareness!

You learn to observe yourself and the world about you, to notice the frequent arising of judgment, of liking and disliking. You notice the fear from which those emotions and thoughts are born and remind yourself, over and over, to offer compassion to this human who is afraid and dashes off into the shelter of its shell and its separation. This is the practice of your incarnation. Like all else, you won't do it perfectly. Does a concert pianist ever play perfectly? What is perfection, measured against what standard? You just keep practicing!

Let us return to your work then, the projects you lovingly undertake to serve another. On one level is the project offered with love to guide others, heal or in some way alleviate suffering. This work is of value. It is not just a means to an end of purifying the self. Every kind, loving, generous word, act or thought is of value!

As you work, with as much awareness as is possible, you notice the self that comes into the work. No judgment about it; just seeing it's there. While you may understand that there is no "doer," be aware that the illusion of "doer" will incessantly return. Your practice is to smile at it all, to embrace the fearful human.

You notice any desire to get rid of that self, or even desire to cling to it, to enjoy being "the good one." As your compassion to this human expands, you find less need to get rid of parts of the incarnation, less grasping at "spiritual" and less aversion to the lower chakra energies. Here is work happening on another level. You cannot see or feel it perhaps, but while your mind and voice or hands guide the outer work, there is an inner work, the heart's energy and love reconnecting, reaching outward and embracing, letting go of fear and separation.

You start to understand your work in a new way as experience broadens to include many incidents of pure being, allowing the energy of the universe, of the Divine, to move through you. You are not the doer, but the channel. In that capacity, you are not the limited human with limited energy and understanding, but are truly unlimited and all empowered. There is no personal power here, but the deeper power of your true self that is one with all that is.

A group of beings, thus empowered and hearts turned to loving service, can truly touch the suffering of the world. Not only that, but this letting go of self by letting it be, watching with mercy, is your own path to freedom and peace.

March 11, 1993, Ann Arbor, MI

Aaron: I am Aaron. Barbara and I spent much time conversing this weekend, while she was on vacation. For some time Barbara had been pushing herself at a very rapid pace and was feeling a bit of numbness. It took a day or two for that numbness to recede. As she skied down these lovely paths through the woods, her heart truly singing in joy, gratitude, and praise of God, she asked me the question, "Aaron, why am I here in incarnation? To do what? When I feel such love and joy, simply being outdoors like this, and such pressure and stress that sometimes I lose track of the joy during the constancy of my work, should I not choose that in my life which leads me to be able to express the joy? You say we're here to bring light where there has been darkness, but sometimes I feel like I'm part of that darkness." Yet can you avoid stress in your lives, even on vacation? The light is always within you. How do you live so as to allow it to shine, no matter what the circumstances?

We spoke about the fact that Barbara, as most of you, has lived monastic lifetimes concentrating deeply on the spiritual, but often living in countries where the teachings of spirit emphasized renunciation of the world, where the focus was so strongly on the spiritual that little attention was paid to the material side of life. Many in such countries still lack the basics for a healthy life. Spirit becomes an escape from the realities of physical existence. Enlightenment touches the spirit but leaves form untouched.

In your Western society, there is material plenty and spiritual impoverishment, as your technology has brought you out of harmony with spirit and the environment. You, in your Western culture, are looking for deep spiritual traditions, while those who have been raised with those traditions are looking for Tupperware! Looking for more than that too, but grasping at the material which they increasingly see in the world around them and which their culture has so often lacked. Yes, it is wonderful to live simply, but not when that simplicity involves disease, hunger, cold, lack of the barest necessities. Think of the wonder of a bowl with sealed lid to keep your flour from insects, and thereby help your children be free of disease.

Those of you presently incarnate in non-physically deprived cultures are in a wonderful place where your efforts and love may begin an actual transformation of the world into this Garden of Eden where all beings know their true spiritual nature and where all beings also have food, shelter, clothing, medical supplies, books and educational materials, music, poetry, all the material necessities to live physically without pain. This is the time for the drawing together of form and spirit, of transcendence of that duality.

It is valuable to sit in private meditation. It is lovely to walk in the woods or on a warm and sandy beach and enjoy that beauty and sense of connection. Your joy at those moments does offer light, does have real value. But at physical levels it does not touch the fundamental deprivation in the world. How can you allow that connection with spirit to now begin to transform the world?

I do not imply that you should not take holidays, but your work is in the world. How do you bring joy and love back into the stressful situations? Would you worship a hollow god that stands above the world, superior to the world, that will not get its feet dirty? Would you strive to pull yourself up to those heights and leave the world to suffer with itself the dark alleys? Or do you give your love to a loving God, less absolute perhaps, but not seeking to enhance itself by diminishing others? Rather a God willing to partake in pain through entering the human illusion.

This is why Jesus' life speaks so powerfully to so many. I do not wish here to promote one religious tradition over another. Many traditions have truth and great beauty. I use Jesus here only as one example with which many in this culture are familiar. The beauty in Jesus' incarnation is that this announced the marriage of spirit and form. Here is God, not staying in the heights to be worshipped, but God touching the suffering of mankind, God offering love and receiving love. It is a reciprocal relationship.

There are two different views of God. One must ask, which one holds true for me? To know my relationship with the world, I must first understand my relationship with God. Because I have that of God within me, that spark of divinity, to know my relationship with God is to know my relationship with myself and all else. My relationship with the world and its suffering is a reflection of my relationship with God. I have the potential, each being has the potential, to express God's divinity and love through loving relationship with the world, or to express that aspect of God that it sees as absolute and all-powerful thereby reflecting a different aspect of God.

Yes, God is absolute. We have often offered a quote from the Udana scripture in which the Buddha says to the assembled monks, "There is an Unborn, Undying, Unchanging, Uncreated …" God is all of that. It is easy to distort that truth to say that this Absolute, Infinite, All-knowIng is separate from the world. We may then end up worshipping God so as to selfishly raise ourselves. God has infinite power. Do we try to please God, so as to grasp some of that power? Many have done so, with the sense, "God is on our side." The Old Testament portrayed God as a strong and even wrathful God, having dominion over all. It is to emphasize this change in our relationship with God, to clarify this distortion of man's image of God, that Jesus took birth, simply, to bring the message, love is the most powerful force in the universe and God is love.

We emulate what we worship. If God is worshipped for being superior, dominant, and all-powerful, is it not natural that those who worship this image of God attempt themselves to become all-powerful? They may claim that power grows out of love, to control others because they know best what others need. Do the ends ever justify the means? Can we dominate others because we think we know what they need? In fact, this direction reinforces ego and self-service.

I believe you will remember Ariel's talk [Ariel is an upper sixth density being, and is Aaron's teacher. On occasion this entity is trance channeled by Barbara. Aaron is here referring to one of these sessions. The transcript is available.] about the creation of Earth and the move into negative distortion by those angels whose energy was the foundation of the world. Some of those beings moved into distortion because they sought to control out of love. Their love was so fierce it became protective, denied free will, and became dominating. This was the beginning of negative polarity on the Earth. While this powerfulness and absoluteness are undeniably attributes of God, they are not the most significant attributes. Absolute power must be balanced by absolute love. This is the truth for which Jesus' life offers us reminder. What is our relationship to be with God? God is love.

There was a council of Bishops in the fourth century after Christ, by your figuring of years, 325 A.D. This was called the Council of Nicaea out of which grew the Nicene Creed. The debate that prompted the Emperor Constantine to call this council was involved precisely with this question, what is God? What is the attribute of this infinite God which is most true to humans, which most inspires you and draws you to the expression of your own divinity and to the expansion of God? What allows you to reflect that glory back to God?

One view at this meeting was that of a priest named Arius. Arius was very angry at the Creed which grew out of this gathering and said that Christ was BEGOTTEN of God and therefore shared that divinity. The Creed says specifically, "begotten, not made …" Arius preferred the image of an absolute God. He failed to see through the distortion that an absolute God which dominates all, teaches domination. There are many on Earth today who still worship Arius' god and place themselves in position of power over others, claming a religious righteousness in so doing. I ask you to see the negative polarity in this, the twist of service to self done in the name of God.

The chief one who answered Arius was a bishop, Athanasius. This man said God did not make Christ as subject makes object. Otherwise the whole universe would be one of duality. God gave of himself, bestowed the seed of divinity into this being. And I take that one step further-into all beings. For that same seed of divinity lies in all of Creation. God did not create the world as subject to object but that the world and all there contained is of the same essence of the Divine.

Again I use Jesus here not to promote one religion above another, but only by way of clear and familiar example. Jesus taught us what to do with this gift of divinity. "It is not for me, not to make me powerful." In the Gospel of John, ch. 14, he says, "Whatsoever ye may ask in my name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son." So God gives him divinity and he does not use that to empower himself, but to serve others. He does not reap the glory of that service for himself, he returns it to God. This is the model of positive polarity: service to others.

Notice that this is a reciprocal relationship. Giving and receiving are one. The separate and absolute god neither gives nor receives. It is sterile, limited by its absoluteness! The living God is expansive, unlimited. Thus, as the energy of each of you is purified and returned to God, God expands. That God is able to receive does not imply that God is needy, but is receptive. Needy indicates a void. Receptive indicates elasticity and room for expansion. Thus, God is ever-expanding. God is in reciprocal relationship with every soul. As each bit of work is done by each being to purify its own light, that light is not held onto but returned to God.

You are third density beings, imperfect at service to others. Fear arises. Your desire to serve another in genuine gratitude and love becomes distorted by that fear. When you ski down a mountain path or walk by a lake taking in the beauty and peace, it is easy to feel gratitude and love. When you reach out to others, serving in whatever ways you can, there is the small voice of the ego that says, "What about me?" We've talked about this many times, how to work with that ego-self and its fear, with compassion, not judgment. I will not repeat those lessons here.

But your work will be far easier if you can keep awareness of these two different models of God before you. When you give and say, "What will be returned to me for this giving?" notice the fear, the desire to control, to be dominant, to keep the self safe and separate, even if there is also loving motivation to serve others. Remind yourself not only of the teachings of Jesus, but of so many who have lived the model of service, not claiming or holding anything for themselves. At first glance, this seems a terrifying path, not to hold on to anything for yourself. "Will I not be emptied, destroyed?" Yes, the human may well be destroyed. The human Jesus lost his life. What is it with which we identify? The ego self or the divine self?

In offering himself fully, even to the death of that body, he made the definitive statement to negative polarity, "Your attempt at domination will not work on me. You have no control over me because all you can take is the body. You cannot touch my divinity. You cannot touch my soul. Fear has no domination over the power of love."

My dear ones, you are human. The ego self is going to arise again and again and again. I am not asking you, nor do any ask you, to go and get yourselves crucified, to be martyrs. Only to be mindful of the arising ego self that seeks to dominate, to use that arising as a warning flag, and to come back to the true self.

You each incarnate over and over and over to learn to express this divinity with increasing purity. In your early lifetimes, you sent out very little light to the places of darkness in your illusion. As you polish away the ego, the soul mirror of the Divine shines brighter, so that divine light and love shined into you are reflected back with increasing brilliance. As you evolve you claim less of that brilliance for yourself because self is dissolving. Instead you come more and more to emulate those pure beings who returned that light fully to the Source.

It is this continual process toward positive polarity that brings light where there has been darkness and love where there has been fear. This is why you are here. Remember that you are always in process. You are not God, but of the same nature of God, truly begotten by God. Remember who you are and fear will never win out over love.

Bulletin Board

Many of your letters had wonderful suggestions of things we might add to this newsletter. On this page I'd like to pick up on some of those. You especially asked for book reviews and a place to share with one another. So many of you sent favorite writing, your own poems, prayers and meditations. I'm sorry there's not space for it all. Below are three I'd like to share:

A prayer with which to begin meditation, from Bob Huth of Ohio. "As I chose my current life plan and circumstances, I know also that I reserved the opportunity to throw off the blanket of Illusion … In order to experience the joy and perfection available even NOW. There is no sense of urgency to quickly throw off the illusion. There is a gentle awareness and feeling to do so with patience and humor whenever I get emotionally caught up in the dramas I choose to create."

And another very different one, from The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying by Sogyal Rinpoche.

By the power and the truth of this practice:
May all beings have happiness, and the causes of happiness;
May all be free from sorrow, and the causes of sorrow;
May all never be separated from the sacred happiness which is sorrowless;
And may all live In equanimity, without too much attachment and too much aversion;
And live believing In the equality of all that lives.

From Michele Matossian of MI. This Is from The Way of Transformations by Karlfried Graf von Dürekheim.

The man who, being really on the Way, falls upon hard times in the world will not, as a consequence, turn to that friend who offers him refuge and comfort and encourages his old self to survive. Rather he will seek out someone who will faithfully and inexorably help him to risk, so that he may endure the suffering and pass courageously through it, thus making of it a raft that leads to the far shore. Only to the extent that man exposes himself over and over to annihilation, can that which is indestructible arise within him. In this lies the dignity of daring. Thus, the aim of practice Is not to develop an attitude which allows a man to acquire a state of harmony and peace wherein nothing can ever trouble him. On the contrary, practice should teach him to let himself be assaulted, perturbed, moved, insulted, broken, and battered-that is to say, it should enable him to dare to let go of his futile hankering after harmony, surcease pain, and a comfortable life In order that he may discover, in doing battle with the forces that oppose him, that which awaits him beyond the world of opposites. The first necessity is that we should have the courage to face life, and to encounter all that is most perilous in the world. When this is possible, meditation itself becomes the means by which we accept and welcome the demons which arise from the unconscious-a process very different from the practice of concentration on some object as a protection against such forces. Only if we venture repeatedly through zones of annihilation can our contact with the Divine Being, which is beyond annihilation, become firm and stable. The more a man learns whole-heartedly to confront the world that threatens him with isolation, the more are the depths of the Ground of Being revealed and the possibilities of new life and becoming opened.

Book Reviews

Long Quiet Highway: Waking Up in America, by Natalie Goldberg, Bantam Books, 1993. $19.95, 238 pages. New.

"Our life is the path of learning, to wake up before we die. This book is about that." So ends the preface of this beautiful book which explores Goldberg's own journey of learning how she-and we as readers-can truly wake up before we die. From her suburban Long Island childhood, to her years as a student under Zen master Katagiri Roshi, to her teaching experiences, Goldberg shares her spiritual journey, the people, teachers, students, and moments that she feels have enabled her to learn and grow both spiritually and professionally, as a human and a writer. I was deeply moved by this book.

The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying, by Sogyal Rinpoche. Harper San Francisco. $22, 425 pages. New.

This book Is not just about dying, but about living. Rinpoche brings together the ancient wisdom of Tibet with modern research on death and dying. He presents simple yet powerful practices that anyone, whatever their religion or background, can do to transform their lives, prepare for death, and help the dying. Rinpoche shows the hope there is in death; how we can go beyond denial and fear to discover what it is in us that survives death and is changeless. He presents a lucid, Inspiring, and complete introduction to the practice of meditation, to karma and rebirth, and to the trials and rewards of the spiritual path.

Healing on the Edge of Now; a Practical Guide for the use of Psychoneuroimmunology, by Carl Brahe. Sunshine Press Publications, $11.95 paper, 177 pages. New.

I've not had time to do more than skim this book, but it looks useful. It is about healing by consciously focusing energy to affect change. Through a series of exercises, Brahe shows how we may change those beliefs and attitudes that have prevented us from healing.

We have word of two new books by Thich Nhat Hanh from Parallax Press, Thundering Silence and Love In Action, but haven't seen them. They're sure to be worth reading. I'll share my thoughts about them In September.

Notes

Many of you want to correspond with others with similar interests. Is there someone(s) who wants to start a "sharing newsletter," in which you can get to know one another and speak to each other's spiritual Ideas and questions? I'll be a pass-through to help get this started.

Transcribers are still welcomed. It's a wonderful way to hear Aaron if you live too far to attend his talks.

Is there someone out there knowledgeable about the processes of becoming a non-profit organization? Help!

We need office volunteers, one hour or many! Incoming transcripts need to be put onto the computer. People who know Aaron are needed to listen to tapes and choose what is sent out to be transcribed. Books need to be mailed out, mailing list updated. Help is needed to put together the next channeled book, Angels In Earthsuits. I really need help! As retreat/workshop season begins and I'm away, I can't handle all of this myself.

I'm grateful for the opportunity to teach and to channel Aaron. However, this is not my work but belongs to us all. Your donations and energy make all this work possible and are deeply appreciated.

Copyright © 2000 by Barbara Brodsky