03 06 to 09 15 edited for archives

March 6, 2015 journal

Continuing from yesterday. I woke about 6, got ice for my shoulder (which was not too painful today, just a little ache) and decided to come back to bed and meditate as my office was cold. Aaron asked me to connect with Light and Love. Reaching out to that image of Dom inacio, I found something imposed on it, trying to pass as Dom Inacio, slightly negative, and said no. I restated my highest values and asked for connection to Jeshua , Aaron, Dom Inacio, or someone else who fully reflected those values. I began to sing "Amazing Grace" to myself, to ground me. Gradually the view opened to a field of Light. It's not the visual that's important; Our "loyal opposition" could easily place such a view visually. Rather it is the vibration, very high, loving, and welcoming to all who choose to enter into it. For me it's like sitting at the foot of a radiant mountain. The higher up I look, the greater the radiance and higher the energy and sense of Love. I just rested there for about 20 minutes, simply breathing in the vibration and breathing out , "thank you."

Then I felt myself invited to move further in, higher up. I'm reminded of the Narnia stories where Aslan talks about it in that way, "further in, higher up".  The energy level keeps rising until I can go no further at my present density or I would be burned away. I rested there for an unknown length of time. Then I just backed up and withdrew, offering thanks for that blissful and healing immersion.

Aaron and Jeshua ask me to make this part of my daily practice, as it used to be for many years and has been laid aside because of the need for several hours a day of gym and PT. When my vibration is raised to this level and my strong statement of service to all beings, to Light, to God is made within that vibration, it offers some real, ongoing protection. Remember that as long as I continue to offer darshan with the Mother, that "loyal opposition" is going to try to intrude, to stop me. My work is twofold, to make myself/ Barbara as invulnerable as possible through such daily resting in light, and to cleanse daily and after each darshan, always remembering that help and support are offered.

Aaron gave a metaphor of glasses that become dirty so gradually that you take the dimness as norm, and forget to clean them so more light enters. One must remember to clean them daily. This process of resting in Divine energy and Light does that.

I asked, what if I cannot find that high vibration. Aaron and Jeshua both promise me that help will be offered. If I don't come to it immediately, not to be afraid but just to state my highest intention repeatedly, to continue to offer the words "I consecrate this body, mind and spirit to the light" and to ask for help. Use a photo of Dom Inacio or another Casa Entity with that radiant smile as a doorway into that space. Aaron suggested I ask Karen L if she has something I can use. (She replied that she will send me a photo)

Look into myself; am I holding any old fear, anger or resentment? Consciously release it. Work with forgiveness if anything is there that asks forgiveness, of others or the self. Offer gratitude. Really feel that gratitude. Do some chanting of the sacred names of God.

I met with J today, my friend who wrote the other day about releasing negativity. We talked about "dark crystals" from a negative polarized group from Orion that are a doorway for 6th dimensional negativity, that came to us over 900 years ago. They were implanted in people by our agreement. J said ,"a dark group from Orion that came to earth around 951 years ago and implanted a set of 9 dark crystal in many people. They have great power and influence. Nine crystals that were of a standardized form placed in many people. There were three categories of people that were given these. Those who took it voluntarily, as they were themselves dark. Those who were forced to, and finally those who took them as part of a treaty to allow this dark group to leave earth for 900 years."

We are now growing past that treaty period and can release these. Aaron also spoke of implants made at the time of Atlantis and before, Lemurian times. I haven't talked to him in depth about these. I know this sounds to some people like "mumbo jumbo." I do find it to be real, and have been aware of it for several decades, since I went through some DNA changes.  I'm writing this in a journal, not to alarm, but to remind myself and others of our responsibility and of the real ability, to release these as part of the release of darkness on the earth; and part of the potential transition to positively polarized higher density happening on earth now.

March 9 -I have not written: I gave J and his guides my permission to remove anything negative, only as far as is supported by Jeshua, Aaron, Ariel, and Dom Inacio. He said he would do this on Saturday night. What follows is somewhat jumbled and pieced together. First, from my letter to him:

Friday night I went to bed at 10:30 and slept 10 hours, pretty soundly and free of pain! I was up from 8:30 to 11AM and tired (after 10 hours sleep), figured spirit was working on me, and took a nap. Slept 3 more hours from 12 to 3! Through that night and the nap I occasionally came partially awake feeling very loving spirit presence, but nothing specific. Each time I came awake I offered thanks to spirit for supporting my intention to cleanse the body of anything negative, to support positive polarity throughout this body, mind and spirit. I thought perhaps you had started early!

Last night i went with Hal and friends for dinner and movie, came home and went to bed at 11 (well 12 daylight time), so maybe just before you started. I slept about 8 hours. Did not feel anything specific; restless sleep as often happens with the body pain i have, so up a few times.   Each time, repeating thanks to spirit for supporting my intention to cleanse the body of anything negative, and to support positive polarity throughout this body, mind and spirit. "This mind, body and spirit are consecrated to the Light and to service for all beings" .  

Whenever I wake with pain (not just last night) I speak to anything negative respecting its free will. "If you choose to stay and learn, and wish to redirect yourself to Light, you may watch; but you may not interfere. You may not stay with intention to find a way to shift this body/mind/spirit into service to self, only for your own learning and choice to move to the Light and service to all". Then i ask Jeshua, Aaron the Mother, and Ariel to help support that statement of my intention; and go back to sleep. 

From JR on March 8:

On Mar 8, 2015, at 10:19 PM, JR wrote: (edited)

The energies on Friday were a continuation of the original healing. Sometimes they will visit for several nights or up to two weeks, ... Dom Ignacio was acting as a spokesperson as he is someone you and my guides are familiar with.

The dark crystal removal was a success. ...

For you, I had many security guards in place, and a highly effective barrier around your sleeping area. It was enough to complete the surgery quickly and successfully, however not enough to block all negative influence. You received a number of very powerful negative visitors. They were able to re-fragment the most vulnerable of those 8 fragments that we integrated. This is common with heavy negative influence, as they will always attack the weakest point. My guides felt it was really important to share this with you.

I asked Aaron about your fragments. He asked me to restate the importance of spending some time channeling each of them and hearing them out directly. There is a whole shamanic journey you can take them on, a walk over a bridge to your main consciousness, which I can tell you. ...

My reply to J:

Thank you very much J, for all of this.

I'm putting this first to be sure you see it,

re: "My guides would like to do a healing on you and Hal both again tonight, much closer to the first one to help to recover."   Yes, and thank you, but only if you can do this without strain on yourself. I know you had a long night last night.

I don't pretend to understand all you have said and done. My work is usually in a different direction, much less precise in terms of size/ fragments/ nature of the negative polarity and so forth, so you're the expert with that.

I did spend some time during the night just talking to some entities that seemed to show up. Some while awake, some in sleep. With one there as a conversation about free will, and their free will right to stay put, that the intention was not to harm me. We got into some dialogue on the fact that at the ultimate level, there is no self or other, so service must be to all. If he/ she/ it is not committed to that, it may not stay within me as this mind/ body/ spirit are consecrated to service to all, as one whole, and never to just one fragment of that Light. No fragment may be harmed to serve another.This was somewhat in my sleep, but it seems like the discussion repeated itself numerous times though the night. The logic of my statement was being challenged. It said i was harming it by disallowing it to stay. I said it could stay, but needed to change its polarity to do so.That was its free will choice. Remain of negative polarity but leave, or open to positive polarity and stay and learn. But the choice must be honest. Each time it came back, I just greeted it again with kindness and patience, but a clear statement of "no" too.

There was a dream by the sea, dunes and gentle surf, longing to get in to the water to swim but warned there were stinging jellyfish. I was told they would kill the jellyfish so i could swim. I said that was not acceptable to me. I would wait until the jellyfish left.  I did speak to the jellyfish and ask them to leave as they were violating the free will of those who wished to swim.  Then I went back up to my resting place where it seemed there was a clear pool to swim in, free of jellyfish.

Interesting dream in the light of what you shared.   Interesting series of dialogues about free will and how it may not be used to harm others.

RE: "Someone, with the help of one of the 6th dimensional negative beings attempted a really violent take over of Jess's body."  I experienced something like this about 25 years ago with Aaron. It was scary but a very powerful learning experience too. When i asked Aaron how I could help, he just kept repeating "send love and light to us both." I had not realized until then that I was involved in something much deeper than I had first understood, and the depth of commitment and love needed from me. Please thank Jess for me.

I suppose this is why i woke with more body pain than usual, several times. My practice with such pain now is just to invite in Dom Inacio and Jeshua.

re: "They were able to re-fragment the most vulnerable of those 8 fragments that we integrated. This is common with heavy negative influence, as they will always attack the weakest point." I am taking the Casa herbs and was told to ask for help with pain each time I take one (3 x a day). The past two days I have also been asking for help to release anything negative in this body/ mind and spirit, and help it move to the light. I think i shared the very strong experience at the Casa with Dom Inacio, and have felt his presence each time I made this request.

re: "There is a whole shamanic journey you can take them on, a walk over a bridge to your main consciousness, which I can tell you. "  Yes, thank you.

with love

Barbara

Now Monday afternoon: I slept well, and once again needed a 2 hour nap midday.

Re: "They were able to re-fragment the most vulnerable of those 8 fragments that we integrated. This is common with heavy negative influence, as they will always attack the weakest point. My guides felt it was really important to share this with you.

"I asked Aaron about your fragments. He asked me to restate the importance of spending some time channeling each of them and hearing them out directly."

I experience this type of entity very different than J. No one way is better; we each have our own processes based on our karma and background. I don't experience negativity in terms of crystals, shards or fragments but as consciousness. That said , my way of "hearing them out" is connecting to that consciousness (but not combining with it; maintaining my integrity). It speaks to the places that are least grounded, most shaky in me. That means I must do my own work there. That also means that I thank these entities for their presence and for teaching me by reminding of where I need to work, but thanking them does not mean inviting their continuance, just not fearing or loathing them in any way.

So we got straight into a conversation... They always focus in on the weak points. This one is about parasites. We're all parasites in some ways, I suppose, feeding off each other. There are some – they're not called parasites as they help each other – combinations like birds that live with crocodiles and eat things caught in the teeth, both helping each other. A parasite eats off the prey until it destroys it, and then moves on. For karmic purposes, the intention is primary. But does the bird hold an intention to help the croc or just to feed itself?

So what has been attached to me, feeding off of me, has no intention to serve me, but it does serve in that it leads me to such reflection. My uncertainty here is when we tell negativity, "that's enough; you must go" and when we try to find the good in it. Can we say , "that's enough," with loving kindness and no hostility?

In what ways, if any, do I feed off others? In what ways do I allow others to feed off of me? If there is no self or other, how can anything feed off anything anyhow? Aaron, I obviously have a lot of confusion. Meanwhile, I can feel this subtle negativity using this as a way into me.

Aaron: at the Casa, dressed in your white clothes and sitting on the front platform waiting for the second time line, a dog came and tried to jump up on you, wanting attention. You petted it first. That made it more demanding. It had muddy paws. What did you do?

B: I said "NO" in a firm way."

A: Were you angry?

B: no.

A: so you were able to be clear and firm and still kind?

B: yes.

A: that's it! This negativity is a dog with muddy paws. It wants attention. It may not soil your white clothing. Say "no!" Why is that so hard?

B: I want to meet its needs.

A: You want to, or part of you "needs to" to feel good about yourself? Where does the want come from?

B: that dog was skinny, limping, alone. I wanted to offer it kindness.

A: then forget the whites, and the line, and take it off to feed it or get it medical attention. There were many people sitting there.  Why do you think it chose you?

B: Energetically, it knew it could reach me with its demands.

A: why could it reach you.

B: I see where you're going, Aaron. In wanting to do no harm, and wanting to be of service, I feel I must then put myself at the whim of whatever comes.

A: It's the same situation you get into with your work. When there are too many people seeking to meet, you are increasingly tired, but do not set appropriate limits. Saying "no" can be of the highest service. Service to others includes the self. Please reflect on all of this.

B: one last question; so you are saying that such negativity is attaching because my service to others is subtly a service to self, getting what I want which is to be the one who takes care of others?

A: That is one part of it. It's more complex. You are deeply of positive polarity, and beyond most separation into self/ other. Negativity plays on the weakest spots, such as the aspect of the self that still feels responsible to take care of everything for everyone, not for praise but because there is pain in seeing others pain. But you cannot fix it for the world. Just let it rest in the compassionate heart; do what is possible and leave the rest.

We are speaking here of communicating with these aspects of consciousness, which are not 'self' or 'other,' just consciousness. When this kind of situation arises, know there is likely some negative polarity riding on its shirttails, and say know as you learned to say know to the dogs in the Main Hall.

This is one aspect of the doorway for the negativity that is attaching. Get to know the other doorways too. When you lived in NYC many decades ago, close to the Bowery, you had no problem saying no to those who approached for money to buy alcohol. You felt no guilt and no confusion, It was a disservice to them to provide them with alcohol. But you did make pots of coffee and give cups away freely from your studio door. You did not do so out of guilt but out of kindness.

Please spend some time meditating with these questions. What are the weak chinks through which negativity enters and attaches? You are correct that there is no longer any feeling of unworthiness, or of an ego trying to do in order to be loved. It is far subtler. It is mostly based in old habit that has simply not been seen and relinquished.  We will continue the discussion tomorrow.