Brazil journal 2014 Post 6 Jan 19 - 20

J 2014 Post 6 January 19

Another sunny and lovely day, though now, evening, we just had a big storm, the first since I arrived.

I'm delighted to see the body growing stronger. Rode bike to casa, pool and back to pousada with no discomfort, even up hill. Knee is still arthritic, so achy a little  with use, but not unstable; the ligament seems 97% healed.  Back feels stronger although still painful  (stenosis) when walking or standing any length of time. But the legs are not collapsing. I just have to sit after several minutes.

The left shoulder is significantly better today too. There is no chronic pain, only some twinges if I move the arm too hard. I swam backstroke and side stroke ½ hour ; toward the end, just tiring,.

This morning, the Sunday Casa service, full of song, energy and joy. Then I had a crystal bath. It was just 20 minutes but deep, strong vision/ experience of resting in light, embraced by light and by loving energy. My mind held a vision of sitting by that big window door in my office,  but it was not quite there, rather, looking out at a magnificent garden, golden light everywhere, such a sense of deep well being and I felt my whole body and mind relax into it.  It was too short at 20 minutes. When the attendant came to turn it off, I wanted to just stay there. I went to sit at the overlook for ½ hour, feeling very at peace.

Then off to Walters Pousada where they have a Sunday lunch barbecue, with 3 of my group. Nice meal, good salads and veggies and meat on the grill. Slightly tough steak, too well done but tasty, delicious sausage, and then an hour swim in the sunshine and clear blue pool

D, J and I stopped at Fruttis on the way back for acai and talked for an hour;  good to hear what they are doing,  and share with them.  I came back and fell sound asleep. The knee handles the hills easily. This bike is also a foldbike but more stable feeling and rides better than the one I have always used. Here's another example of needs being met. I wondered how I would get around when I heard  that Ida had sold her place and moved away. I lacked trust.  It worked out perfectly!

After dinner, some prep for the ones arriving tomorrow and interviews with those already here, looking at intentions,. Now to bed.

Monday, Jan 20.

I wish I could show you the hummingbirds that gather at this red-blossomed bottle-brush plant out my window. I can't add photos this year as I could with Posterous. They're 2 feet from my screen / window here, with wings flitting fast, hovering over the blossoms. When I return home, I'll try to find a way to post photos on some other site.

The group has arrived. It was good to have lunch together, and the pousada provided us a delicious meal. Rainy afternoon (drizzling) but 6 of them came to the Casa with me this afternoon.  I sat in the Main Hall for about an hour and loved the energy. I'm feeling a sense of great spaciousness and peace, and also joy in the ways this body is able to move more easily. The knee works; there is still arthritis, especially on a rainy day, but no instability with the ligament.  But there's also more equanimity with the aging of the body, and more sense of gentleness to it.

Last month I received an email blog from Ajahn Sucitto,  and DC sent it out again this morning to the DSC teachers. It really spoke to me when I first read it. Speaking of Joseph Goldstein, Ajahn S says ,  “But now, touching seventy, he's reflecting on reducing his output and passing on the responsibility and leadership. The question is: to whom? It's a pertinent question and one that we're talking about because we're in the same boat; along with a cluster of other Dhamma-teachers and abbots. Last year I informed the Sangha that I would be putting aside my abbot's duties after my sixty-fifth birthday in late 2014. Over the past year I've been carefully wording as best I could what I have in mind. It's not that I have any new projects or visions to pursue, but that having supervised monasteries and communities for over twenty-five years, enough is enough. It feels that my mind and heart has met, been challenged, worked over, and strengthened by all that it takes to hold community - particularly as people's normal inclination is to operate as individuals. I may very well have done some good things. It's gladdening to feel that standards have been established, buildings built, and teachings offered that some have found helpful. What feels equally important is that I haven't given up on the intention to be free and happy. In fact those liberations have become more available through a lot of giving myself and giving up that any duties require. But as I've noted in every other teacher that I know, as their awakening process continues through ageing, it returns to home base. They move to the edge of the community and out of management.

What Ajahn Sucitto says here speaks directly to my heart, and my having released the Guiding Teacher role at DSC last summer.  He writes:

“The details remain unclear because I haven't arrived at the place of putting aside yet; I can't judge, and refuse to speculate, as to what is on the other side of the door until I've opened it and walked through. It's a kind of dying, but that's life.”

So I am opening the door, getting ready to walk through, releasing any fear about that will be on the other side; I know it will be centered in dhamma and the open heart, that's enough. I spent this hour in the Main Hall  just asking spirit to help guide me though, to release any old attachments to ”guiding teacher,” and to best support the presently emerging DSC  in whatever ways are for the highest good.

There's much more to Ajahn Sucitto's blog. Those who wish to see it all can go to:

Posted By Ajahn Sucitto to Reflections: Ajahn Sucitto on 11/30/2013 02:27:00 pm

The man who had a last-minute passport problem seems to be en route to resolution and hopefully will be able to arrive Wednesday morning; I know spirit is helping with that.

I'm enthused with plans for the DSC spring  “consciousness and its objects” class. The whole format, how to combine the mundane practices and more energy/ light/ supramundane awareness practices , are falling into place with much clarity.  I've spent some time writing it out as a ‘coursebook' that I'll  send out next week to the class (or those who were registered last semester as registration is just open now for spring semester).  I'm really looking forward to sharing this specific flow of dharma.

And there's more clarity too , about the October workshop.  I've been asking spirit to help me have clarity about what I can best offer, in classes, workshops, and writing based on all my variety of spiritual practice of the last 50+ years: how to pull it all together. I'm starting to feel a clear sense of direction (which may change mid-course too!) But there is no “somebody” behind it. Much more emptiness.

This place really is a open flow between the higher and mundane realms, with spirit guidance so easily accessible I always have Aaron and he is clear. I think my higher self, deeper heart center and truth become more available to me here too.

Dinner soon. Tomorrow a full day with the group, casa tour, interviews, etc,.