0219to28 2015

Feb 19-28 journal

2/27 The internet has been down after a storm, so instead of sending, I just keep tacking on days...

Feb 28, and I have just arrived home. I'll write one more in a few days so this is really just through 2/27.

The days have flown by, no opportunity to write. Once again I'm just filling in pieces from memory. Wednesday, Thursday and Friday last week I stayed with the same pattern, sitting in current in the mornings (usually long/ 4 to 5 hours; not ending until noon or even 1PM), coming back for lunch and then spending the afternoon Current lying in bed falling asleep. I've never done that before, always grasped at every opportunity to sit in the Current, But I know they can work on me here in my room too. I was too tired to go back. So slept an hour (or 2) and then meditated until dinner,  resisting the urge to get up and journal or do email. On Friday morning in Current, it felt like they did some surgery. I felt the anesthetic; lightheaded, a buzzing in my head, high energy and then fell asleep there in Current for an hour. When I woke up, there was some shoulder pain, so I guess they were working there. I also felt pressure in my back. I slept all afternoon.

Friday night many of us went to Café Central (Grainne's Café which is just two ½ blocks from here.) Five of the group were leaving Saturday so this was our final 'party' together. Lovely conversations. It's fun to hear from Grainne, who is the volunteer who leads the first Current room, so has a lot of knowledge about how things work here.

By the time we were ready to leave it had started to rain, hard! Pouring rain, sheets of it. We waited a bit but it didn't let up so we just walked out into it. It was a warm evening, warm rain, no big deal to get soaked. I didn't account for the water running like a river down the street. It was over my ankles and rushing fast. (There are no storm sewers here). A friend walking beside me was trying to hold an umbrella over me (I was using my walking sticks for balance) but I told her not to worry. No problem getting soaked; we'd be home soon, as long as I didn't fall on my belly into this raging river. With that, I stepped into an invisible (because of the flowing water) almost knee deep pot-hole, lost my balance and fell flat on my face into a larger-than-bathtub size pot-hole over-run with fast flowing water. A true Baptism!

After the initial startle, I burst out laughing, but my friends were worried because I could not easily get up. Sharp gravel under my knees so I didn't want to kneel to get up; left shoulder too weak to lift myself without kneeling. I actually thought of just rolling onto my back and floating out and down the street to where it levels out (down at the bottom of the hill it gets 2 to 3 feet deep in a bad storm, though it dissipates fast) but then I'd have to walk all the way back. I wanted an inner tube! Whee; tubing down main street!  I reflected on the seeming duality of Barbara with body impairments, and Aasha/ Aavram with strong bodies. I am Aasha; I am Aavram, these beloved karmic ancestors. Just stand up! Be them! As in Aaron's Christmas Story where Jeshua says to him (they were both boys at that time), "Just light the fire, Nathaniel." I got onto my knees (yes, some knee scrapes with that and a cut elbow from the fall but all just scratches) stood up fairly easily, and we walked back home to very welcome hot showers. I expected the scrapes to be sore the next day but had soaked them with Casa water and they healed very fast. Be the fullness!

 I don't remember a lot of Saturday and Sunday. Sat. Morning, I had some private talks with folks who were leaving, then a Portuguese lesson, and then Dorothy, a friend who is a Casa medium and lives nearby in Anapolis, came for a long visit and lunch. I always enjoy my time with her. I have gone several years to stay with her and her husband on a weekend.  We had Group circle late Saturday afternoon before folks left; as always I am deeply moved with what people are learning. Sunday, singing at the Casa, talking with a friend here after, and then we went to lunch at Mateus new restaurant, Highway 66 (out on the highway) which is very nice; good food and a magnificent view of the hills and valleys. Came back and slept; then a swim. It was a beautiful, sunny day. Played with others, with a jigsaw puzzle last night.

Now today, Monday; Portuguese lesson; then I had an appointment with a man from Poland who is making a film about the Casa and asked to interview me. We just ended at 2. Good questions. I have no idea what will come of it. He said he will send some of his video material to me  for mine or DSC use.

Many people went to the waterfall this morning. I felt I couldn't do it; my knee is not yet stable enough for that climb and I didn't want to damage it or hurt any work they have done. So sadly I stayed here. Just now I was heading out to swim but could not get a taxi, saw dark clouds gathering, and decided to just return to my room. In past years I have ridden my bike but the uphill pedal is hard on the knee. Sad, as this was probably my last chance for a swim here (3 more Casa days and home), but a wise choice I'd guess. This morning A. brought me a water bottle of waterfall water. She said she could feel its energy as she gathered it.  I just stood in my shower and poured it over myself!

I have just three more days and then back to Michigan. People have asked me what's happening with the body needs.

Now Thursday morning, just 15 minutes to write and then I want to post this before breakfast and leaving for Current.

What's happening? Seemingly nothing, though I don't believe that. Something is happening, just not yet visible.  Tuesday night there was a lot of shoulder pain, knees weak too, when I got out of bed. Through the night I decided to go to the second time line in the morning and pretty much demand help! I wanted an operation to "fix" it all, enough of this sitting in pain through long hours of Current! But then the pain reduced and I decided to sit in Current and go through the line in the afternoon. Wednesday morning lines are always long. Current was 5 hours. It turns out the whole 2nd time line was sent to surgery, while I sat in Current with a fair amount of pain and very shallow, distracted meditation.

Wednesday afternoon, I was ready to go to the 2nd time line, and prepared to have Heather take me with my questions. The doubting part of me wants to know where this is going. Can it improve? Why is there more pain? While I was waiting, the Entity  (it was Dom Inacio!) came out on the stage to do a surgery. I watched. Then he turned around and looked at me there in the very front, met my eyes with a warm, friendly smile, almost mischievous and playful, held it for a few seconds, and said, "my Current."  So much for my questions and "I want operation; I want it fixed!"

So I sat there again, for almost 4 hours remaining of current , more settled, less pain, but nothing profound. Why was I there? Current didn't end until 6:45. I came back to a late dinner feeling "perplexed" and remembering Teresa of Avila's "Be not perplexed; be not afraid. Everything passes. God does not change..." Clearly he is helping me in his Current, though I cannot yet see it. He wants me there. Doubt! Grasping  and suffering; all dharma basics.

After dinner a woman came to my pousada to see if I had a copy of Cosmic Healing she could buy. She began to share her meditation earlier in Current. She is from the Ukraine so excuse misspellings. I won't change her text (she typed as most do to talk to me).

I sow jesus. Man was standing on the hill, does not look like most of paintings, does look pretty, so he was giving session to huge croud. One man was setting next to him and wrote something, man who was given healing session called writing man matthew, writing man had hanchback,. Standing man picked 6 people from the croud, he did no touch them, but was making passes using his hands and fowrehead. Writing man called him teacher, I had no doubts that was jesus. When jesus finished with  those 6 people, he turned his back to a croud and was going to leave, matthew asked him very nicly why he is not helping others, jesus had very firm full powerfull look and said that croud can not ever being healed, only individuals who  are ready. He repitted this several times and after that was going to leave again, but matthew asked jesus if he can help him with his backache. jesus gave  short answer;  you called youself my pupil, you want help people, you have to help youself to yourself. This was the end of meditation

Needless to say, this story had a powerful effect on me. There are no coincidences. I know I needed to hear this. I meditated and read for a while after she left, then went to sleep.  I don't heal others, but divine healing flows through to others through the help of some of the loving beings who incorporate and carry that Divine Love.  My work is not to ask the Entities to "fix" me but to KNOW that innate perfection, invite it, and then ask for their support in its manifestation.

I'm reading Ron Roth's book, "Prayer and the Five Stages of Healing". I met Ron here my first or second trip, 2004 or 05. He was a well-respected teacher and healer from the Chicago area. He had been a Catholic Priest, then left Catholicism to practice in a wider way, and with healing. Joao turned over the Main Hall to him on a Saturday.  So many people were passing out from the power of his energy that they had them lying on blankets on the floor after the infirmary filled.  He was much loved. He died a few years later. Two years ago when eight of us went through the line together to ask for blessings for Remembering Wholeness (my channeling work with The Mother), we were told we had the Casa and Entity blessings (Dr. Valdivino was incorporated) and "The Padre is helping you." When we asked we were told "The Padre" was the spirit of Ron Roth who joined our circle with Dr. Valdivino. I have since asked him for guidance, but not heard directly from him before. This trip I was led to the above-mentioned book and have been reading it, and have the blessing to have Ron answer questions (much the way I can communicate with Aaron)! I'll write about that separately at another time.  I've not kept many notes as I usually have just my I-pad with me when we talk, (reading on kindle) asking about something in the book.

This morning (Thursday morning) I went back to Current.

Now it's 3:30 Thursday afternoon. I was very tired from Current, long and hot morning, and came back to eat lunch and to sleep soundly for 2 hours. Thunder woke me up! Boom! Huge storm now, pouring buckets, thunder and lightening, electricity is out. I was planning to sleep, then head back to the Casa and sit in the garden, but will stay here. BOOM. I'mhearing the thunder!! There are big cracks of lightening.

4PM. I just came back from the pousada halls and courtyard; Guests, owners, staff, were all using big squeegees to push flooding water out of halls onto the grass, to keep it from flowing into rooms. There are pea size pellets of hail. I will post pictures somewhere. Once-in-a-hundred-years storm! No one here has ever seen ice coming from the sky before. There was so much you could pick it up in large handfuls. We could have built a snowman! Someone who returned from the Casa said they made everyone leave the main hall and go into the not-yet-finished new office building, closing doors and windows. She was unsure if they evacuated the Current rooms as well. Medium Joao (no entity incorporated) came into the Current room during the storm and led prayers. Yet now the storm is passed and power is back on! Not Internet though. It may not be back today...

So, morning Current was very hot and humid. Fans were pushing hot air around. Uncomfortable. When the surgery period started (me in the Current room, not the surgery room) I felt a surge of energy to the left side of my face, and brief pressure, as if the face was being shifted and realigned on a cellular level. The strong energy left me feeling a little dizzy. Minutes later,  I felt (almost like a human touch) hands grasp my head; a very clear chiropractic spinal/ neck adjustment that left me as it does when the chiropractor does it, feeling some discomfort but also a strong release and opening of energy. I fell asleep for a while.

I woke, went to the bathroom and back into Current and sat another two hours, continued hot and uncomfortable, but there was no longer arm or shoulder pain. My back feels a little stronger too, less painful when I stand. I just spent most of ½ hr with others pushing water out of hallways, Minimal pain (though I used mostly the right arm).

It's 4:30 and electric is on, who knows for how long, so I want to pack. I leave tomorrow at 6PM. I'll post this when I can.

6 PM now, dinner. I am ½ way packed, my least favorite thing to do! Internet still down but lights are holding. And now 7:30, mostly packed.  Lights on; internet down.  I see the tension, wanting to check our flights...

Grainne came by to deliver herbs. She is an angel! She volunteers,  mostly running the mediums current room, and runs a café in town to earn a living. She is so generous with her time, to take photos through the line. She knows so much about the Casa too.

I'll finish packing and climb into bed with Ron's book.

Friday noon. Just back from my last Current for the year. Heather asked him for herbs for me to take home and he prescribed 4 bottles! (6 months worth!)  I had ongoing shoulder-to-hand nerve pain all night, did not sleep at all, (finally slept at 4:30 AM for one hour) but today it feels fine. I choose to trust it just needs time, to be patient. When it is good, it is good! It cannot heal overnight (why not? Is that just another belief?) but will heal gradually.

Smooth flights home. Upgraded to first class for the Atlanta- Detroit leg. Sushi lunch. Unpacking; off to swim. The snow is exquisite!