0214to17 2015

Feb 16 now. I haven't been writing, just dropping in occasional thoughts. I'm sitting at my computer by the open window, bottle-brush plant with hummingbirds (always!) and facing the kitchen from which the delicious odors of dinner pour out.  It smells like meat grilling....

Feb 14; a day for attending to the texture of the heart, although in Brazil Valentines day comes in June!

Friday through Sunday, I won't fill in life details. Saturday 8 of the group left. Sunday some of us went to  Ranch Fazenda about 10  minutes by taxi from the pousada:http://www.hotelfazendarr.com/

I've been there before; nice pool, (though not very accessible, many steep steps to get to it), horseback riding, and a zip line into the lake. For about 35R (US $14)  you get breakfast, swim, ride, zip line. I wish I had a way to post photos of our riders!  I swam, and felt content with that, had the wisdom not to try to get onto a horse and jar the shoulder. I didn't evenswim, just walked and floated in the pool (and played some Frisbee there too). As I walked in the morning there, I felt so much joy at the beautiful surroundings. There is a song they sing sometimes at the Casa service:

God's recreation of the new day

I was feeling intense joy and gratitude; the light was exquisite, a radiant glow from all the trees and fields, and it truly was all springing into creation!

I probably overused both arms, climbing down steep slope and stairs to reach the pool, then Frisbee with the 'good' arm. Back to late lunch at Frutti's,  rest, dinner here; some of us played with the beautiful parrot jigsaw puzzle we do every year, and to bed.

Last night I had bad shoulder and tendonitis pain, the first since Thursday, and in both arms. I was up much of the night, finally took a very hot shower about 4AM, water pouring over shoulders and back for 10 minutes, and got back to sleep.

At first, anger, frustration, despair... "Not fair!"  I lay in bed in pain, meditating and then rememberedTeresa of Avila's prayer that I first put into my journals in 2008

Teresa of Avila:

Be not perplexed;

Be not afraid;

Everything passes,

God does not change.

Patience wins all things.

He who has God lacks nothing;

God alone suffices.

Just to be with this moment, this discomfort, and not take it as a personal affront. Let go of trying to control the body. Let it be as it is. Take care of it. Don't force anything.

Portuguese lesson this morning It begins to flow more easily.

Also reflecting today on St Francis prayer:

St Francis Prayer:

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.

Where there is hatred, let me sow love;

Where there is injury, pardon;

Where there is doubt, faith;

Where there is despair, hope;

Where there is darkness, light;

And where there is sadness, joy.

O Lord, grant that I may not so much

Seek to be consoled as to console;

To be understood as to understand;

To be loved as to love;

For it is in giving that we receive;

It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;

And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

I've always loved this prayer.  No profound insights here; it just gives me peace to recite it, and reflect on my intentions for my life. A friend sent me this poem and it also was helpful.

The Real Work,by Wendell Berry, from Collected Poems, 1987 from the essay "Poetry and Marriage" found in Mr. Berry's Standing by Words.

It may be that when we no longer know what to do we have come to our real work,

and that when we no longer know which way to go we have come to our real journey.

The mind that is not baffled is not employed.

The impeded stream is the one that sings.

Tonight (Monday): 1 ½ hours of informal dharma discussion on various topics with 6 to 8 of us. Most topics come back around to the simultaneity of relative and ultimate, and living that balance with wisdom and compassion.