Brazil journal 2014 Post 8 Jan 30

Post 8 January 30, 2014, 2:30 AM

I am oddly wide-awake after 5 hours of sleep. They have been working on me yesterday and tonight and I have surgery tomorrow afternoon and will have 2 days to sleep, so thought I'd write some while I'm able. They may work on my eyes, which will mean no writing/ no computer for a week.

Yesterday (Wednesday morning)  I took the group through the line. It was the longest I have ever seen. Morning current didn't end until 1:30, and I think the 8AM line never was seen.  They had a break and afternoon Current started at 3 and ended at 7:20.  I went myself  in the morning at the tail end of my group, with many photos and I had my translations from Daniel: alivio para dor no ombro (alleviate the pain in my shoulder; I decided not to try to explain the bicep tendon issue theat is causing the pain, but to trust that they already know) and asked for help for this ongoing sore on my leg, near the site of the cellulites infection years ago, that has come and gone for 2 years. It's not major compared to stenosis, eyes, ears, but it is an ongoing concern, a small bleeding sore. I guess I want both the healing and also the confirmation. Maybe they cannot yet give me hearing but this is smaller! It was very tiny when I came but is oozing and red now. And I remember the time he saw the bleeding sore on my lip, 9 years ago, “Deafness, be patient, but this we can heal now” and he did.  It would be a relief to have this cured. I think it relates to the poor circulation in this leg, always a concern. So, “Eu tenho essa ferida na minha perna ha dois anos; cura?”

When I got to the Casa there was a huge crowd. I sat for about an hour in the main hall, and started to feel dizzy, uncomfortable, as if they were working on me, so went out to the garden and sat down on a bench. Almost immediately, I felt sharp pains in my belly, right near the spider bite scar. It wasn't severe pain, just small, sharp stabs. Finally I lay down on the bench and went to sleep, with the promise of one of my group to awaken me when 2nd time line was called. I slept for about an hour, with some odd dreams. I was going someplace to teach a horseback riding class and was really excited, to teach and to ride myself.  The person who arranged it was supposed to bring some metal siding and forgot; ¾ way there she remembered and we needed to turn around and go back for it.  Then it was too late and we had to cancel the class. I was very sad and determined not to get caught in other people's forgetfulness, to do what I chose and needed to do for myself. I'll need to reflect more on the dream's meaning.

Anyhow, at last time to go through, so after group saw the Entity I gave the photos and asked my questions. I was able to speak it in Portuguese.  Dr Augusto was incorporated. He did not take my hand or even look at me, just said “operation tomorrow afternoon. I wanted to show the leg sore but he just sent me on. Trust. He knows.

After a quick lunch I came back to afternoon current, at 12:45 but morning current was till happening. I sat in the main hall for 2 hours until they finished, and invited in the afternoon Current, then 4 hours in the Current room.  Through that time, mind restless for much of it, just coming back to center again and again, Frequent tiny stabs of pain in abdomen near spider bite scar. Tonight I found a large bruise mark there, about an inch from the scar. I know I didn't bruise it with a bump...

To sleep about 10 and  slept fitfully I kept feeling them working on me, especially there in the lower abdomen but also  in the back, eyes, knees... Aaron asked me to stay there and just rest with eyes closed; finally he said I could get uop and type, as if they work on eyes this afternoon I'll be off-line for a week.

Going backwards now.

The movie Sat. night was excellent. I recommend it. It was long, almost 2 hours, well acted and presented.

Sunday to Casa service, back here to greet N and T who arrived late morning for these next 3 weeks. We all went to Fruttis for lunch (whole group) I had a hot vegan sandwich on gluten free panini, hummus/ avocado/ olives/ tomato; really good! Then to the waterfall, my first time this year, the knee is really solid; no trouble going down and back up the hill.  

Sunday evening I offered  dharma talk and then a discussion, on nonduality of relative pain and ultimate wholeness/. Monday morning, we had large group circle.  The sharing was very openhearted. It gives me much joy to see people really “getting it.” Monday afternoon and Tuesday morning, I had private meetings with each person in the group.  Then back to the waterfall later morning with most of our group.  It was a beautiful day and was very crowded. The group in front of us took a very long time, 8 men down there for an hour, then the 10 women in that group, another hour! Impatience was coming up. I wasn't impatient with the fact that others were before us, but became angry as the time passed and they didn't return.  Aaron said this to me and I wrote it down:

“The difference between heaven and hell is not in the situation but in your mind. Here you have warm sun, adequate shade,  brilliant , shimmering brilliant turquoise blue butterflies flitting overhead, lovely greenery, a light breeze, a comfortable seat, no pain, and yet you are caught in judgment  and impatience. What is the ‘hell' here? Watch the arising of judgment and your expectations with an open heart.”

I sat quietly for about ½ hour. Then he said this and I again wrote it down.,

“Imagine this scenario; many beings are in a heavenly realm  in which they share a group consciousness. There is no ‘me' or ‘them' but shared heart and telepathic thought. All needs are met, of nourishment of mind and body, love and so forth.

The Brother/sisterhood of Light is gathered around, observing.  “We need a realm where beings can experience their shadow or they will never perceive it, consciously choose light, and step past the shadow. A realm of beauty and abundance but where conditions can give rise to challenge and beings must take responsibility for what they have created, in order to expand.”

And thus came earth, grounded on the love of the Guardian Angels of earth.

4AM; Time to get back to bed. I'll post this.