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September 28, 2013 Saturday, Trainings Workshop ThreeBarbara: Good to see you all again. I was just going to say, we're promised sunshine is going to come through, and suddenly as I was about to say that, here comes the sun! We have a very full weekend planned, going back into past practices and deeper with them, and learning some new things. I apologize for the lateness of getting the final materials to you. It was just one of those weeks, including some computer breakdown and could not get things ready and out to you. I spent much of Monday and Tuesday getting a working computer again. Life! So, without any pause here, Aaron is simply going to incorporate and begin. He will talk. Then we will have some guided meditation and instruction and silent meditation. A break, and then on to something new. (Aaron incorporates) Aaron: My blessings and love to you all. I am Aaron. One of the nice things about this environment is I don't have to ask if there is noise, like cars, noisy cars and traffic going by. Even airplanes don't seem to fly directly overhead. So we don't have that background noise, although I suppose there's always the occasional woodpecker. This weekend I want especially to focus on the non-duality of healing our personal selves and the Earth. Until each of you begins to be more comfortable in higher consciousness and live and work from that consciousness, you can't really bring that higher, non-dual consciousness and vibration into the Earth. So we start with ourselves, but without the intention to hold it for ourselves. But rather, that whatever we learn, whatever we open to, is for the highest good of all beings. Each of you has experienced trauma in this and in past lives. You don't have to believe in past lives, only, you have experienced trauma in past lives. It's showing up in this life. You don't have to know it in the past lives. And your Earth as a whole, and really our whole universe, has experienced trauma. On the one hand, on the relative plane, we do work to heal that trauma. If I have a bad cut on my arm, I might need to get stitches and slowly let it heal. On the relative plane, there is a cut. On the ultimate plane, there has never been a trauma. The very clear master looking at that cut can simply go into the ultimate reality in which there is no cut and see it pulling together. Most of you cannot yet do that, although perhaps you will be able to in not too long a time. But for now we need to attend on the relative plane and hold the ultimate perfection. If we simply look at the cut and say, “Oh, it's a cut. It may not heal.”, that “It may not heal” keeps it from healing. You're giving it a different energy. In holding the intention, “Make it heal! Make it heal!” you're subtly holding an intention, “Keep it open! Keep it open!” Can you see how that works? Feeling anger. “I don't want this anger. Get rid of this anger! I'll never be rid of anger. It keeps following me everywhere;” this attitude just keeps perpetuating the anger. But when you know, “Anger has arisen. Uncomfortable, tense, hot, fiery, prickly.”, that which is aware of anger is not angry. I attend to the anger, to the expressions of anger such as the tension and heat. And I remember the non-angry, which has always been there. I don't have to create the not-angry. If I had to create it, it would be an entirely different thing. Rather, I simply rest in the non-angry. I rest in the ever-healed and invite it. Some of you have heard Barbara describe an experience some years ago wherein she broke the big toe. If this is the toe, the bone right there showed a clear fracture. And of course it was quite painful and she couldn't walk. She was upset. She was angry. It was July and she thought, “I'm not going to be able to walk up and down the hill to the lake. I'm not going to be able to swim. It's going to ruin my summer.” I asked her, “Is the toe ruining your summer or are the fears about it ruining your summer? Can you simply remember the whole toe? All that's happened are that certain molecules have separated. That's all bone is; it's molecules. The impact separated them. Now they have to remember that they belong together and re-adhere.” So she was up in her cabin, lying on her bed with her foot raised on a pillow, and I suggested to her, “Sing to it.” “Sing what? My Country Tis of Thee?” I said, “Whatever tones it wants to hear.” So she began to sing just OOOOOMMMMM. OOOOOMMMMM. Asking the toe in each moment, what tone do you want next? And offering the tones. It was the second day of the broken toe. The first day was the break and the x-ray and so forth. She spent most of that second day lying in bed, ice on her toe, taking care of the relative plane reality of a broken toe: foot elevated, iced, singing to it. Of course the bone is just a lot of molecules, and here they are a bit fragmented. I asked her to picture them finding each other and coming back together, because they have really never been separated in the ultimate sense, although in the relative sense they're displaying that separation. She went to sleep that second night, and the third morning she woke up realizing that the foot really wasn't very painful. I said, “It is knit. You can stand on it.” So she gingerly got out of bed and put her weight on it. It was tender, a bit, but not excruciating like a broken toe. I said, “Wiggle it.” Some wiggle. It wiggled without pain. I said, “Just be careful with it because it's still healing.” Barbara still doesn't believe fully that she was able to do that. She did not do it. There was nothing to be done. She simply allowed it to express its wholeness. So she did not fix the toe, she simply invited the toe to express its wholeness and got out of its way, in a sense. Stopped plaguing it with, “What if it doesn't heal? What if I can't walk well?” Just relax. See it as whole. This is much of what we will be learning this weekend. Not with the broken toes, but with whatever each of you visualize as broken in the self, the old traumas and so forth. Seeing the place where the trauma exists in relative reality, and seeing the absence of that trauma, the wholeness in ultimate reality. How do you bring compassion, loving kindness, forgiveness, whatever may be called for, to the relative plane trauma without perpetuating the trauma? So we learn to do that in ourselves. And we look around at the Earth and the multiple traumas, right now in this moment, the multiple traumas on the Earth. The place there has just been an earthquake or a flood or a landslide, a volcano erupting, people shooting each other or bombing each other. Babies being born with a traumatic birth situation. People dying with a traumatic death situation. We hold all of this in our hearts. We learn how to bring loving energy to whatever the situation is on the mundane relative-reality level, without going into that fix-it energy that perpetuates the distortion, but instead truly knowing wholeness. We're going to use certain tools to practice this weekend. The first is simply intention. When I say a fix-it or fear-based, can you feel the contraction when you saylet's use an example-- “I see a crack in the roof! I think the roof is going to come down! Let's stop it!” Can you feel that contraction? Versus, “I see that this roof, like all roofs, has the potential to collapse. But there's no reason to assume it will collapse today or this year or this decade or this century. Let us simply hold loving energy for this roof that shelters us.” Releasing any sense of fix-it, but holding the highest perfection. We're going to do an exercise. I'll describe it a bit later in the morning, but it's based on, my debt here to Martin Luther King, Jr., “I Have a Dream”. We're going to break into small groups and share our dreams, personal and for the world. So, knowing intention grounded in love. Later we're going to spend some time talking about two very special forms of consciousness. Ahimsa, which is translated “dynamic compassion,” wherein we find profound compassion for ourselves and others, for the world. It's not a compassion that simply sits and watches; it's an active compassion. If you see a bird lying on the ground, clearly with one wing injured, you don't just sit and watch it and say, “Oh, poor bird.” And you don't rush out, saying, “What am I going to do? What am I going to do?” to fix it. You watch it for a bit to see what it needs. You approach it very carefully so it doesn't panic. Perhaps you find that it has a big thorn in its wing. Love extracts the thorn, not fear and “I must fix it!” but just kindness that extracts the thorn. Then you watch the bird to see how it is and whether it's recovered enough to release it. This is dynamic compassion, ahimsa. And we're going to work with satyagraha, soul force. Satyagraha is grounded in ahimsa. Ahimsa is the dynamic compassion that's connected to everything, free of a self, but if there is a self and an ego, not taking that ego so personally, not getting caught up in its stories, but resting in that spaciousness of being. From the perspective of satyagraha there must be this ground of dynamic compassion and some degree of emptiness. We made a chart in Cosmic Healing, the chart in the interval on consciousness. Low astral, vision logic consciousness, is part of gross or mundane consciousness. Ahimsa begins at that level. The next level above gross is subtle consciousness. We move from low astral to astral. Satyagraha must happen at the astral level. There will always be some sense of a self. Me, I'm going to get up and walk over there to that bird. And then the “me” drops out. Love gets up and walks over to the bird. In using soul force, so often in your world people are acting from an ego place. It was on the news last night that President Obama and the president of Iran met by telephone, I believe, but this was a breakthrough. After such a long time of oppositionality there was a willingness to come forth, initiated, I believe, by President Obama. I'm sure that at one level he was working from this place of satyagraha, from subtle consciousness and deeply envisioning a peaceful world. And I'm sure that at another level he was working from the ego and saying, “I'm going to fix this. I'm going to be the president who goes down in history as having resolved this.” He can't help it. That thought will come up. The question is not whether it comes up but whether you get caught up in it so you make it the biggest reality, or whether you just note, “Ah, here is ego. Hello, ego, have a seat. Just have tea.” and let it be and come back to your highest intention. Re-enter subtle consciousness, astral consciousness. So we're going to do some longer exercises with ahimsa and satyagraha. We're going to practice moving between ordinary and non-ordinary space-time through shamanic journeying. We're going to, I hope, get at least some insight into the relationship between opening to subtle consciousness, opening to this place of pure awareness, resting in that space, and how we can live and work from that space so that it's not the ego trying to change things but love seeing the deepest possibility for the highest good, and holding that vision while sewing up the arm, if necessary. So we'll put it all together. We're going to do some work with body energy, how each of you can find different means of being more responsible and responsive to your body energy. So that if you're sitting there and suddenly a bee comes along and stings you, “Ah!!”, the first impulse is to swat the bee. Watching the energy: fear, anger, confusion. ( body relaxes, exhales) Becoming familiar with the multitude of tools that you have: working with the elements, working with chakras and energy, working with the energy meridians of the body, which we have not really explored yet, and beginning to trust yourself to employ these tools. None of you are going to get it perfectly. That's not the effort. If you understand this and function 50% smoother than you did, even 5% smoother than you did yesterday, that's a big help. Here is somebody coming along and pushing me. The impulse to push back“Ahhh...” centering, using all these different forms of energy, intention not to push back. Barbara parked her car this week, turned off the engine, had not yet gotten out of the car. Was getting her things together. A car pulled up in the space next to her. Perhaps that person was not aware there was somebody in this car, since she had turned off the engine. He opened the door and slammed it into the side of her car. Rage came up for Barbara! It was not just a little tap, but a (sound effect). She thought that the moving car had hit her, and when she looked she saw it was just the door opened. She realized she needed to go and talk to this person, that this is part of compassion, to learn how to say no. But the rage could not say no. And she also realized she needed to act quickly or he was going to walk away off into the mall someplace, and she was not going to try to chase him through stores. So she breathed a few times, held her intention for the highest good. Brought energy through the chakras, helped the heart chakra to open. All of this in 30 seconds or so. If she had had 5 minutes, that would have been fine, if he was going to sit in his car, too. But he had already opened his door, and he was getting out. So she got out and she said to him, “Do you know you just hit my car?” He said, “Oh! I'm sorry, I didn't realize anybody was in the car.” (laughter) She said to him, “What difference does it make whether anybody was in the car or not? Your car door still slammed into me.” So they talked for a bit, and he apologized. There was not any serious damage, a tiny scratch. But it was a peaceful exchange, and one in which he will hopefully learn to be more careful, to think more in the future about the impact his actions will have.
So this is how we're going to spend these two days. How many of you have had formal instruction in pure awareness meditation? I would like you to simply stand in place and stretch for one minute. I want to start the meditation right away. (break) We're going to start by holding the highest intention, each of you remembering the intention: Today, may I be of service to all beings. May I live my life, today and always, with love. May my speech and action be free of harm to any being. May I live connected to my deepest truth, and with joyful reverence and gratitude to the divinity of which I am a part. I'd like you begin now by opening your eyes. If you are wearing glasses, you may want to take them off. It would be lovely to be looking out that big window or the skylights, but I don't want to ask you to move all the chairs. I assume you can all see trees out the windows here. We're going to begin with formal pure awareness meditation, and then in a few minutes shift into vipassana. Eyes open, but the gaze soft, a bit unfocused. You are not trying to see each leaf and branch, or to name it “leaf, branch, sky, squirrel,” but just to seethis is where the fuzziness without the glasses is helpful. Just losing the detail to see the whole. Let the mouth hang open just a little, and the breath come out, ahhh.... Let me hear it. Ahhh... And then breathing in. Again, ahhh... You're breathing everything that you thought was separate in you out into the universe, releasing it fully. Ahhh... And then, you can use your arms here, bringing the whole universe into the self with the inhale. And then, ahhh, release... Drawing it in. You're not just drawing in the air in the room. You're not just drawing in the air immediately surrounding the building. You're drawing it in from outer space, literally. You're drawing everything in. Releasing separation. Ahhh... With that Ah, let the tongue be relaxed, not touching the teeth or the roof of the mouth. The mouth not forced open, just gently open. Ahhh... The tongue just hanging there helps to support relaxation. Ahhh... Just resting. There's nothing to do. Just breathing. Ahhh... If thoughts arise temporarily, simply note “thinking” and come back to this process. Don't try to chase away the thoughts. Don't latch onto them. Just, thinking, planning, rememberingahhh... Right here is the conjunction of relative and ultimate reality. We want you to be balanced between both. So when the thought comes up, or the itch, simply noting it with a compassionate heart and mind. And then, the ultimate space of awareness, ahhh... in which all these humans are experiencing thoughts and itches and twinges and memories and whatever. Letting it all be. Ahhh... But, if you happened to have a glass of water on your lap and it spills, then kindness goes and gets a towel and wipes it up. No stories. No doer. Ahhh... Just relaxed, spacious. Nothing to fix. Really nothing to do. Ahhh... Resting in this enormous spaciousness of being, but still present with the mind and body and its small jerks and twinges. Ahhh... Let's just do this for a few minutes. (sitting) Spacious; don't fixate on anything. Nothing to do; nowhere to go. (sitting) As awareness feels stable, you may hear nada, the sound of silence, which is like a background sound of crickets chirping. It's not a created sound. I like to call it the cosmic OM. Some of you may hear that in the background. Some of you may see a lot of light, luminosity, which is another expression of the Unconditioned. Nada, luminosity. Some of you may feel very high energy. These are all expressions of the Unconditioned that we experience as we deepen into awareness. When I say expressions of the Unconditioned, the Unconditioned is that which exists free of conditions. The sunshine coming down now, the mist going, these are conditioned objects. As the sun burns through, the mist goes. When certain conditions are present, there will be mist. When the conditions go, the mist goes. When certain conditions are present, the sun will be apparent. When those conditions are no longer stable, the sun will move behind clouds. This is the conditioned realm. The unconditioned realm; that realm of resting in divine essence, in That-Which-Is, everything apparent and present. One sees the whole play. Cloud floating in, sun diminished. Cloud gone, sun coming back. One sees it as just the play of the divine workings of the universe, everything moving according to conditions. And this Ahhh space of awareness, which steps outside the close-up view to hold a bigger view. You all know intellectually that the sun does not really rise and set, that the Earth simply spins so its position in relation to the sun changes and you have night and day. But it seems in relative reality like the sun comes up in the east in the morning and then sinks down in the west at night. If you move off the Earth in a spaceship to a point where you can see the whole Earth and the sun, suddenly you have a different perspective, “Ah, that's how it really is, just this ball turning. Different parts of it connecting to the sun at different times.” You see the whole thing. Now of course even the way the sun and Earth relate is not ultimate reality, it's just a metaphor that I can give you. You begin to see how everything is simply arising and passing away, free of what you think of as an independent self, which does not mean you cease to exist, only you are not what you thought you are. Your body, the ego, the mind, these are all conditioned elements. When they go, what remains? When we rest in awareness, essentially we are learning to rest in that “what remains?” and I will not try to name it for you. Just resting in love, in spaciousness, in awareness. There's so much less reactivity there. Man in a hurry, agitated, maybe stuck at a long light. Steps out of his car, swings the doorcrash! Woman, agitated“Smashed my car!” Tension. Ahhh... Kindness, compassion, awareness holding space for this whole scenario until it's able to hold it with spacious compassion, and yet not ignore it, but respond to it from awareness. Now I'm going to ask you to close your eyes and come back to vipassana. Vipassana and pure awareness meditation are two vital coexistent ingredients, each supporting the other. With vipassana we become aware of the mundane objects arising and passing away, the little twitch of pain or the itch, the mind racing around agitated, or perhaps falling asleep. Judging thoughts, joyful thoughts. All of it arising and passing away. And we become increasingly aware of our habitual patterns. When an object is pleasant or unpleasant, how we relate to it, and that there is a different possible way to relate with more spaciousness, more stability, more kindness. Let us sit silently, then, for 20 minutes with vipassana meditation. If you find yourself moving into a strongly contracted place, open your eyesahhh... Return a bit to spaciousness, not to fix the contraction but to remind you, that which is aware of contraction is not contracted. Spaciousness is also right here. Ahhh... I'll be quiet then for about 20 minutes while you practice. (sitting) break “I have a dream”- the group breaks into small groups of approximately 6 people each, to share their dreams for themselves and the world. Barbara: in the Co-Creating with Spirit workshops we did a year ago we talked about meeting our guides, our higher self, and connecting with spirit guidance. Many of you participated. Each of us has what is traditionally called a power animal, or many power animals or many of them. They are part of us. We can't really say they're separate from us. They're very directly linked to us, and they're there to help and support us. I have had the joy to meet several of my power animals and they've been very helpful to me. One is an elegant silver stag, a big stag with huge antlers. I wouldn't say he's fearless; he's courageous. He's just steady and present. When I'm feeling fear and moving back and forth with that, his presence reminds me to let go of the stories of the fear and just to be present with that courage based in love that's always been there, and to rest in that. Another of my power animals is also silver, a silver fox. He's very wise. He knows how to work his way through sticky situations. And he reminds me that I also know that. It is beginning to look like one of my power animals is a spider (laughter)... but he's definitely teaching me things. Now, after three months, that wound is down to a tiny little scab with some red scar tissue around it. It's almost better. It's been intense learning to sit with Spider, become friends with Spider and find out what he has to teach me. We encounter our power animals in many ways, but one is through meditation. So what we're going to do now is a guided meditation to meeting one of your power animals. May I ask how many of you have connected with a power animal? Many of you. So you can invite that power animal with which you already have a connection, or ask if there is a new one who wants to come and be with you.
(Aaron incorporates) Aaron: My love to you. I am Aaron. Close your eyes and let us take a journey together. We're walking across a large grassy meadow, headed towards a wood at the far side of the meadow. At the edge of the woods are many trails. Some enter into areas of much larger trees, some into an area with smaller trees, apple trees maybe, and spaced further apart. Some seem level, and some seem to climb immediately. (Many pauses, not noted) As you walk across the field, scan the woods ahead of you and find the path that calls to you. You can even enter the woods without a path, just stepping in between the trees. Moving from the sunshine into shadow. The coolness and shade of these lovely trees. Dappled sun touching the ground, the trees and leaves. As you move in, it becomes darker, denser. The path grows rougher with roots and rocks and begins to climb. You look around. There were 40 of you entering the woods but suddenly you are alone. All you have been told is that if you keep going straight and gradually or steeply climb, you will find yourself moving up a mountain, and we will meet you with a lovely bonfire and a beautiful view at the top. But I do not promise that the woods will never be treacherous. There may be large animals of prey. There may be steep ravines. There may be areas of mud and marsh into which you would sink. Hold your intention and trust it is possible to reach the top. I will see you there. And so we walk. Begin to hear the sound of running water. Somewhere nearby there is a stream. And the hill grows steeper. Finally you come to a place where it is almost a sheer cliff, with clearly carved hand and footholds. On one side, the thick woods, and on the other, a steep drop down into a chasm through which the now-strong river runs. It leaps off the wall ahead of you over a series of waterfalls. It is hard work to climb this, although there are clear hand and foot holds. And there is fear: if I fall I could be maimed or killed. You think, maybe I should go back to that meadow and just sit and wait for them. But no, I wish to reach the mountaintop. And spirit has told me that I have everything I need to do that. And so you climb, arm and leg muscles shaking from fatigue, from the exertion. Up to this point the climb has not been perpendicular but more a 45 degree angle. But suddenly it's steeper, 90 degrees straight up, perhaps 15-20 feet up. Should I go back? As you ask that, behind you, you hear a roar of a lion. I won't try to imitate it, but hear it for yourself, a loud beast of prey that has been tracking you. Suddenly that cliff looks like safety. Begin to climb. And finally you reach a plateau, a little bit of grass and actually a few flowers growing there. Ahead of you, another equally steep climb, but here there is a bit of sunshine, the water flowing down on one side. Sit here and ask for help. “I am feeling overwhelmed. I do not know how to make this climb myself.” Now at this point in the guided meditation we could ask for our guides, but today we're going to ask for power animals, who are simply another form of guidance. “Who is here to help me? How shall I advance?” The lion, you see him down 15-20 feet below, snarling at the bottom of the cliff you just climbed. You're safe from him for now. But your intention is to continue up the mountain, and there is no backtracking. Know that help is with you, very loving help. Hold your hands open, welcoming it. “Help me. Guide me. Give me what I need to know, or what my body needs in order to continue up this steep path.” Don't look for something like Barbara's silver stag and dismiss the butterfly. Your power animal will come in any form. Even suddenly you may see this large cat, perhaps the lion's mate above you, not snarling at you but looking at you and pacing off onto a little side track. No, it is not trying to lure you into a trap, but to show you the way. Or perhaps the butterfly is suggesting, “Lighten up. Be like me. Together we can fly. And if you trust yourself, your limbs will help you literally fly up this hill.” Perhaps there is a badger peeking out from the woods at the side, just as steep but not bare rock. And he comes part way out to you, actually touches you with his nose, and then turns and runs back into the woods. “There, this way, this way.” Maybe you see a unicorn or that stag, something that represents courage, who literally bounds up this steep face and invites you, “Courage. Just follow me.” Maybe a snake slithering in the grass beside you, and then moving up a different part of the rock face, showing you a less steep route, asking you to get yourself close to the earth, to ground yourself. As you can imagine, there are infinite possibilities. Do not turn your back on any of these animals. Just holding hands and heart open. You had asked for help. Whatever comes is here to help you. Thank it, and ask it, “What are you here to show me? How will you help me? I thank you for your presence in my life, and for the love you are showing me.” And then go with it, literally. Now I'm going to be quiet for a few minutes while you do this. Your task here is simply to meet your animal, allow the animal to help you, and go with it until you reach the top. If two animals or more come, do not be concerned. They will work together. Thank them all. Find yourself ascending with ease, with this animal's help, helping you find wisdom, courage, strength. You will each have several power animals, but you may have met just one. Whatever you need, these animals will help you to open to and find it within yourselves. They do not bestow it upon you; it's already there. They help you to recognize and enact it. If you have not yet found your animal, don't despair. Just keep your heart open. Use your imagination, if you have not found an animal, and invite the animal that comes in your mind to walk beside you and show you the path. One of you is seeing a bear who says, “Lean on me. Grab hold of my hair.” and literally offers support and pulls you up. Another, it looks like, has found a huge eagle, grabbed his feet and is flying with him, soaring up the hillside. So use your imagination. Your imagination really is part of your visioning experience. And for those of you who have clearly met an animal, continue your climb, asking the animal for help as you need it. Asking, what do you have to teach me, to show me? Helping you find strength, courage, ease of motion, joy. And so we climb. Emerging now from the top of a steep climb. The mountain smoothing itself off. And I see you all coming to my campfire. We have s'mores. You can feed your animals, too! I would by preference have given you a little more time with this, but we were quite late in starting and we are already 15 min into the lunch break. So let us end here. Do not say goodbye to your animal but ask your animal to stay with you through the rest of this day. Or if one has not made itself fully apparent, just let the animal know, “I am here and open to you, and I know you will show yourself to me.” Perhaps on the walk back to the lake you'll see a small rabbit, and you might think, “How could a rabbit be my power animal?” Or a turtle. Power animals take any form. Don't try to force it to be something other than what it is. But trust what comes. We will end here. The groups may like to reform after you get your lunches and talk some about the experience. I will see you again at 2:30pm. Remember the optional vipassana sharing/ question circle near the lake at 1:30. (session ends)
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