April 30, 2014 Wednesday Night, Emerald Isle Retreat, Aaron speaks on "Vision is Mind" practice

Aaron: Good evening. My love to you all. A magnificent storm blew through earlier; I enjoyed looking out at the big surf brought up by the storm, the outplay of conditions.

Sometimes the internal weather is calm, sometimes there's a storm. Sometimes after the storm passes there is still big surf. We've invited you this week to look at some of the internal storms, to look at the places where there is negative holding of the self, old beliefs in the self's wrongness or unworthiness or incompetency, and to see that right there with anger, for example, which may be a very real arising of anger, there is the loving heart. All humans have periods of time when something arises in them that feels uncomfortable. We've discussed right effort as an openhearted release of the negative tendencies and a strong intention to support the wholesome.

There are many ways to practice with these negative tendencies. The beginning of practice is to recognize that these negative tendencies simply have arisen out of conditions, are impermanent and not self. There's nothing to be fixed, but they do need attention. So we have the basic vipassana practice in which we carefully watch what arises: the contraction that comes with aversion, for example, which we note as “aversion” or “contraction.” Here is the experience of aversion in mind and body. It's an unpleasant experience. Then we may see the habitual tendency to judge this aversion or to want to get rid of it, and this is just an overlay, more aversion on top of the aversion. As you practice you become more skilled at not getting caught in these unwholesome mind states. I don't mean they cease to arise, I mean specifically you get less caught up in them. There are fewer stories around them. They still may arise.

You've heard Barbara talk about her retreat more than 20 years ago in which she explored feelings of unworthiness. She was no longer at all paralyzed by feelings of unworthiness. There was a lot of space around such feelings when they arose, but they were very painful and they still arose.

The Brahma Vihara practices are one pathway to release of the old stories. The wisdom practices are another. We see deeply into the nature of such thoughts and know that they are impermanent and not self, and yet they keep arising. Many years ago we introduced the Seven Branch Prayer and Four Empowerments, which are built on Shantideva's text, Way of the Bodhisattva. These are practices that aid the release of long-held habitual tendencies that still arise. They actually loosen the conditions out of which the tendencies arise.

When I first thought about tonight's talk, I thought of reviewing all of these practices, discussing the distinctions between them and how we know which practice to use. I feared it would take me over an hour and it seemed like too many words, so I dropped that idea. Suffice it to say that there are these beautiful practices: vipassana and mindfulness, practices like the Seven Branch Prayer and Four Empowerments.

[Barbara, there's a wonderful review of practices at

http://archives.deepspring.org/Aaron/Retreats/2012/Emerald_Isle/120501eiTueEveBBC.php]

Very briefly here is an overview of the four Empowerments - The Four Empowerments are the center for parts of the Seven Branch Prayer. The Seven Branch Prayer is elucidated by Shantideva in that text, but it also is found in similar comparable statements in many spiritual traditions.

I am not intending to teach you the Four Empowerments in detail here. Think of whatever burden you carried up the mountain last night. The burden of a judging mind or rage, lack of forgiveness, a closed heart, fear. We take that as an object. First we ask for help with it. There needs to be a sincere, what I call compassionate regret, that even though there's deep insight into what conditions this habitual tendency, it still continues to arise.

Seeing that it still arises, compassionate regret; very different from self-judgment. Here it is again. Reaching out for help. The help may be simply the power of the dharma, or it may be turning to the great masters, such as the Buddha, Jeshua, Kwan Yin, Mary, and others, and literally asking for help. Turning to your own guides for help. There is a willingness to accept that help, to open to it.

Here we're talking of the taking off the lifejacket. It's been pointed out it's drowning you, but you're still attached to it. There's still fear. “If I let this go, what will remain? What will I become?” So a willingness to explore, here, to consider opening to what holds this particular mind state or body state or emotional state in place. Compassionate regret that it's there. Asking for help, opening. And then the willingness to hear and practice those things that balance it.

For example, where there's maybe a lot of greed coming up, a lot of fear, “My needs won't be met,” a very helpful balancing practice is simply giving things away mindfully. Not with force, but finding the real joy in giving. It's really what we've been talking about, that right there with the negative quality is something that's very beautiful. But it can be frightening to encounter that gem. What is it going to ask of you? What if you're not up to it? So there has to be a willingness to try.

These practices are all more on the mundane level, although I have taught the Four Empowerments and the Seven Branch Prayer very much on a supramundane level, too. This is one of the things I considered sharing tonight. Instead, we will be happy to mail out a past transcript of it, and I will not try to teach it here. Just as I said, too many words.

[Seven Branch Prayer practice, from The Awakened Heart:

http://archives.deepspring.org/Aaron/EveningwAaron/1997/T_970115.php

Formal guided meditation:

http://archives.deepspring.org/Aaron/ClassSeries/2005/November302005.php or

Further explanation and teaching at

http://archives.deepspring.org/Aaron/Workshops/Whistler/20040723m.php 

Four Empowerments, from The Awakened Heart

http://archives.deepspring.org/Aaron/EveningwAaron/1996/T_961211.php

or (following a discussion on kayas and the ever-perfect)

http://archives.deepspring.org/Aaron/ClassSeries/2003/December102003.php ]

We can also reflect that whatever is arising arises out of emptiness and pours back into emptiness. We cannot hold onto emptiness as a way of escaping pain. If strong anger or resentment has arisen, we can't just say, “Oh, it's empty,” and let it go. We have to work on the mundane level with the pain. But at a certain level in your practice, working more on the supramundane level becomes more skillful and helpful.

There's a practice that Barbara and I have taught a number of times in the past, but not here at Emerald Isle. But we've been teaching it to the class this winter and spring. I believe that those of you who were in Venture Fourth worked with this practice, but for most of you it's new.

It comes from a Tibetan lama, Geshe Tenzin Wagyal. A five-stage meditation. I'm going to read some of the notes, because he expresses it with such clarity.

The first step, Vision is Mind.

“Vision includes everything we perceive, but I suggest that you use what bothers you as an entrance to this practice. Do you have a famous person in your life? The famous person is the one who seems to be born to create a problem for you, as if that is his or her number one mission in life.

“Sometimes we feel there are people like that. Such people can make trouble for you, not only with their presence but with one single postcard sent to you. When you see the postcard with their handwriting on it, you are immediately disturbed. So we begin our meditation practice with this famous person as our starting point.”

Now I would add here to the lama's comments, sometimes we are our own most famous person, and this is a lot of what we were doing carrying that burden up to the fire. The things that we look at in ourselves and say, “Oh, not that!” Easier to be with anyone else than yourself.

“Create a protective environment and sit in a comfortable upright position. Now invite the image of your famous person to come into your awareness. They always come anyway, but this time you're inviting them so you can look more deeply into this experience. What exactly is the famous person composed of? See the image of the person, the character of this person who bothers you so much. Sense the energetic or emotional presence of the person. When your famous person was born, he or she did not show any physical signs or marks of what you now see, and not all people share your view of this person. What you perceive is in your mind, your karmic vision, which is more karma than vision.

“So in this moment, instead of looking out and focusing on that person, look inward. Step back and let the experience come in. Do not step forward, but step backwards. Don't go to your office and make phone calls and send emails. Just sit and close your eyes and reflect on this person, and experience what you're experiencing at this very moment. This is your vision. It's very much in you, in your mind.

“That famous person is now an image or a felt sense. Perhaps you have a sense of be contracted, closed, or agitated in the presence of this person. Feel this fully, not simply with your intellect.

“Sit with the image of this famous person, and with the resulting feelings and sensations, until you recognize that this experience is in you, and you can conclude Vision is Mind.”

Now I ask you to do this. I'm not just going to talk about it. Call up this “famous person,” whether it's a person or a situation-- your house that is always needing expensive repairs, some person in your life, your own anger, whatever it is that always seems to come and disturb you. Can you really allow it in, allow yourself to touch it?

Somebody with great carpentry and other such skills might look at your house and say, “Oh, it's wonderful.” But you without those skills look at it and say, “It's always another thing. It's weighing on me. I hate this house.” Somebody might look at your spouse or partner and say, “Oh, he or she is such a kind, loving person. He or she always seems to be going out of their way to take care of you.” But instead of seeing all that this person gives to you, all you see is what you're not getting, and anger has arisen. Looking into the self, that list we made, the qualities you admire about yourself and the qualities you dislike. If you said to another person, “I'm so impatient,” they might look at you and say, “You're crazy. You're the most patient person I know.” But you experience the impatience.

So we come to this Vision is Mind. I'm going to be quiet here for a minute... So is your famous person sitting beside you now? If not, please invite them in.

Step 2. Mind is Empty. Again I'm reading from the lama's notes.

“What is this mind? Look for your mind. Look from the top of your head to the soles of your feet. Can you find anything solid? Can you find any permanent color, shape, or form that you can call your mind? If you look directly, you come to the conclusion that mind is empty.

“Some people come to this conclusion quickly. For others it requires an exhausting search to discover this clear awareness. But this is what mind is. You can obviously pollute that clarity in any given moment, but by continuing to look directly, you can discover that mind itself is just clear. Clear means empty. Empty is a philosophical term, but is experienced as clear and open.

“So what began as the famous person is now clear and open. If this is not your experience, you are grasping the image and holding onto the experience in some way.” --The lifejacket that you won't let go of.—“Just be. Relax into the experience. Simply be. Mind is empty.

“When we arrive at the experience of emptiness and vastness through the doorway of the famous person, it is possible to have a quite strong experience of emptiness.”

Moving away from the reading for a moment. We see in our vipassana practice how the aggregates arise, and are empty of any separate self. There is this body, but what is the body? We look at something like this stool. Is there any self to it? It's got a rope-woven top and wooden legs. It's comprised of non-self elements. It has a seat. It has legs. Without the legs, it would not be a stool. Without the seat it would not be a stool. We call it a stool. It's just a label.

We call this or that person by name. It's just a label. It is composed of the aggregates. It is empty of a separate self. It's easy to see that your body changes from day to day, week to week, year to year. There's no permanent body there. In fact, the cells slough off and new cells come. Mind and consciousness are a little bit harder because you are so self-identified with mind and with consciousness. But the mind is just like this glass behind me, it's empty. It shows whatever shines through it. Or if you put a mirror backing on it, it simply reflects back out whatever it sees. And because of the stickiness of your mind, things seem to get attached to the surface, just as dirt gets onto the window.

So please spend a minute working with your famous person and the mind. See if you can find anything that this famous person is really embedded in, as opposed to just a bit of soil on the glass. Can you find that empty mind, and the stickiness with which it keeps calling to the famous person?

Many years ago at a meditation retreat, just in the period after lunch, the maintenance crew began to mow the tall grass around the dormitory building. People were alarmed. “I won't be able to nap. Why is he mowing the lawn now?” He was mowing the lawn then so as to avoid mowing it during the sittings. “I won't be able to take my nap. I'll be tired all afternoon.” And I asked these people, is it coming in to bother you, or are you going out to bother it? It's just being a lawnmower, and a driver. Yes, it may be a loud unpleasant noise, but it's just being a lawnmower.

The mind that perceives it is empty. And that doesn't mean that you can't put in earplugs or go out and politely ask, “Can you do this next week?”

“No. The grass will be 3 feet high.”

“Can you do it in an hour?”

“We were told not to mow then because you'll be meditating.”

“Okay, thank you.”

Let them mow. All the anger goes out of it, all the fear. You don't have to go out to bother it. It is the anger not the sound that keeps you contracted and awake.

So we come to this stage of recognition, Mind is Empty. Whatever has arisen is in the mind, and the mind itself is empty. Things are sticking to it because of the tendency to make them stick by playing repeatedly with them.

Barbara tells a story of being in England at Amaravati Monastery. She was a guest there for several weeks, and she was walking with the Ajahn, who was the acting abbot of the monastery. They were walking in the field behind the monastery and talking. It was late October or November. Barbara had fleece pants on and mittens, it was cold. The burrs were sticking to her pant-legs and she was reaching and trying to pull them off. They stuck to her mittens. Then she was trying to pull them off her mittens. Ajahn was just laughing so hard. He said, “Let it be.” This is the dharma, let it be. Whatever has the nature to arise has the nature to cease. Out of choice you're wearing pants that burrs stick to. Know that you've chosen those pants. Let it be. They'll fall off when they're ready.

So the lawnmowing, the famous person, all of it; what is making it sticky? Mind is empty, but at some level you're creating the stickiness. You don't have to do that. This is where we do this kind of practice. Or we can return to the Four Empowerments. Seeing the tendency to continuously make the mind sticky. Compassionate regret for that tendency. Looking for the antidote, the balance to that tendency. Asking for help. Opening to support. Trusting that the mind truly is empty, and this can be released.

The next phase of this practice. There are five phases but I'm only going to read through three of them. Again, I am reading.

“Emptiness is Clear Light. What is this emptiness? Sometimes emptiness is scary to the point where someone might prefer even their famous person to this nothing, where one experiences the absence of self. But this experience of open space is essential. It clears the identity that creates the famous person.”

I want to read that again. “This experience of emptiness clears the identity that creates the famous person.” Do you follow this? The famous person is not essentially bad or annoying or crude or whatever, it's all created in the mind. Others may love this person. Or others may also find him crude. Nevertheless, the stickiness is in you.

Emptiness clears the identity that creates the famous person.

“In order to clear the obstacle of the famous person, you have to clear the identity that creates that famous person. There is an expression: the sword of wisdom cuts both ways. Don't be scared by this. Remember, emptiness is clear light. It has light. It is possible to feel the light in the absence of the stuff. Usually we accumulate a lot of stuff in life. Then we have a big yard sale in order to get rid of that stuff. For a moment we might feel, “Ahh!” a sense of relief in getting rid of all our old stuff. But soon we are excited again about all the new stuff we can accumulate to decorate and fill the open space.

“In your meditation, when things clear, just be with this. Don't focus on the absence of the stuff, but discover the presence of the light in that space. It's there. I'm not saying it's easy to recognize and connect with the light clearly. It will depend on how much you are caught up in appearances and with the famous person. I'm not talking about the clear appearance of the famous person. I'm speaking of the clear appearance of the space.”

Coming back to my own speech again. This is what we've been doing this week, looking at the negative arisings. That which is aware of anger is not angry. That which is aware of grasping is not grasping. Coming back to this spacious mind and heart. Seeing what has arisen as real. It has arisen. It has some energy in it for you right now. But we don't focus on this as if there's nothing else.

Barbara I believe made mention of speaking with a man who was helping people who are dying and said to them, “Can you just die 15 minutes of every hour instead of all 60 minutes? Can you just be alive for the other 45 minutes? Enjoy a laugh with a friend, a massage, a good cup of tea?”

We get so caught up in the famous person, whatever shape it takes, that we become possessed by it, and we lose touch with spaciousness. Again, that practice we did, the lists, the admirable qualities and the qualities that you hate. And I pointed out, if you are patient 90% of the time, you think to yourself, “Yes, but I'm impatient 10% of the time.” And instead of focusing on the clear light of that 90%, you're focused on this 10%. “I'm impatient. I'm impatient.” Then you make the list and you write down, “Patient. Impatient.”

Bring attention to that which is innately beautiful and awake in the self. At least give it equal time with that which is heavy.

Reading, again.

“So when you look at appearance and discover it is mind, and then discover that mind is empty, clear light emerges. When you look for the mind, you don't find the mind.”

I'm sure at least some of you have read some of the Zen teachings where the student comes and says, “Master, help me calm my mind.” And the Zen master says, “Bring me your mind and I'll help you calm it.” Where is that mind? How do you bring it?

“When you look for the mind, you don't find the mind. When you don't find anything, the dzogchen instruction is to abide without distraction in that which has not been elaborated.”

I'm going to read that again. “Abide without distraction in that which has not been elaborated.” In other words, rest in that spaciousness. This is not to ignore the tendency toward anger or rage or grasping. We attend to it appropriately, but we don't give it solidity.

“What has not been elaborated is that space, that openness.” When he says “elaborated,” we can use the term “fabricated” as well. That space is non-fabricated. It's not a thing. It is of the essence of the Unconditioned, and we rest there.

“So you look for mind. You don't find anything. What you don't find, that thing that you don't find is clear space, which is not elaborated, not fabricated. “Don't do anything. Don't change anything. Just allow. When you abide in that space without changing anything, what is is clear light.”

We've spoken this week about the direct expressions of the Unconditioned, such as nada, luminosity, space, a certain energy. These exist, but they are not fabricated. They are not resultant from conditions. The only condition that they require is that the Unconditioned exists. Therefore these direct signs of the Unconditioned exist - Nimitta is a word used for these direct expressions - as an aside, when you work with the jhanas, you work with nimitta, and it takes you into that spaciousness.

“The experience or knowledge of emptiness is clear light. It is awareness. Clear light is the experience of vast emptiness.” How do you talk about emptiness? What is it? This is like those blind men and the elephant. One person says it's energy; one person says it's light. One says it's sound, vibration. Each of you will experience it differently. So when I say clear light, you may experience it differently. You may experience a different expression of that emptiness, and that's okay. Clear light is just one possibility.

“Clear light is the experience of vast emptiness. The reason you have a famous person in the first place is that you experience yourself as separated from the experience of the vast open space. Not recognizing the vast space. Not being familiar with it, you experience visions. Not recognizing the visions as mind, you see them as solid and separate and out there - and not only out there but disturbing your and creating all kinds of hassles for you that you have to deal with.”

The teachings point out that this is not about being clear about something in terms of thought, but clear in the sense of being, entering into that pure spaciousness of being.

 “You experience your essence, your existence, your being as clear. That clarity is the best. Through experiencing that clarity, you overcome self-doubt.”

I'm not going to go into the last two parts. I think this is far enough. I don't want you to struggle with this teaching. Remember that in essence it is not anything different than what we've been doing. In vipassana we watch conditioned objects arise and pass away, and then we move into the spaciousness into which it has dissolved, as we did in Barbara's instruction period this morning, hearing the bell and going out with the sound. Resting in that space.

Once you establish the presence of that space, it becomes much easier not to become entangled with the famous person. Immediately there is an understanding, “I am creating duality.” You can ask yourself, is this whatever is negative-- my own thought or the other person or the situation-- is this coming in to bother me, or am I going out to bother it? Can I just let it be?

Vision is Mind. Mind is Empty. Emptiness is Clear Light.

This is not in any way opposed to your vipassana practice, it's simply taking the practice into the experience where objects that have arisen dissolve; resting in the space into which they have dissolved. And finding that there's no duality there, nothing separate. And then this “famous person” comes along and says something rude to you and anger comes up again. It's going to keep going.

We work with it through vipassana. “Hearing, hearing; unpleasant.” Seeing the anger arise, we know the deep intention not to enact that anger; to release unwholesome mind states that have already arisen; not to further unwholesome mind states that have arisen; not to invite new unwholesome mind states. So we're determined not to keep the cycle going. To nurture wholesome mind states. This spaciousness is a wholesome mind state. Resting in the spaciousness. Here is light, here is loving kindness, here is compassion.

We come back to the vipassana practice. We do the work with this “famous person” shaking his hand in our face or sending a postcard. We find space in the open heart. We return to the intention to release the unwholesome, to nurture the wholesome. And we find that opening to the spaciousness, working with this practice, Vision is Mind, Mind is Empty, gives us both the wisdom and the heart to continue to let go; in essence, to keep letting go of that lifejacket.

Let's end the formal talk there and spend some time with your questions.

Q: This may be just a personal insight that I needed, but it seems that the stickiness that you're talking about, that resilient stickiness, I think the reason for me it's sticky is because if I have that famous person to deal with then I don't have to take responsibility for whatever's left without the <>. Obviously it's a hiding place.

Aaron: Exactly. Because one doesn't want to have to be responsible, one resents the other person. And it becomes sticky. But if one looks at, “Who is this who needs to be responsible?”, love needs to be responsible; compassion needs to be responsible. Mind is empty. There's nobody here who needs to be responsible. I don't have to worry what other people are going to think of me if I succeed with or fail in my responsibility. No role as winner or loser.  Then emptiness can take care of it from compassion. There's nobody doing it. It just comes from the emptiness.

Others?

Q: Today I noticed that no one had signed up for lunch set-up. I was the retreat manager yesterday, so I was responsible to make sure all the jobs were taken. I was in the small group. So I saw myself start to get caught in thinking, “Everyone will think I suck as retreat manager.” So I then moved into, “I'll just leave the small group early and do the job myself.” But I let go of all of that. And in that spaciousness, my small group ended naturally (early) at 11:30am and I joined my friend T in the kitchen to help set up. Letting go...

Aaron: So in a sense I think you were co-creating in the akashic field. Instead of fretting about it, just saying, “This is the need. Either my group will end early and I'll get there, or somebody will see the need and show up. I invite.” It's a very different ground than the “Oh, who's going to do it?!” with a lot of contraction. And more importantly it ends the karma of being the one who has to take care of everything, who resents having to take care of everything, who is distrustful that others will take care of things.

Q: That's my famous person.

Q: Well, you-all don't know my famous person. This is going to take a lot of work.

Aaron: How about if you just give it love, and not so much work?

Q: I've tried that.

Aaron: Keep trying. (laughter) And be sure that you've got the famous person named accurately. Remember that two-sided sword. Is the famous person out there, or is it in you?

Q: As long as the famous person stays out of my office, it's not a problem.

Aaron: But sometimes the famous person is coming into your office. Can it become not a problem when that person is in your office? Vision is Mind. The reaction to that person coming in, maybe other people in the office hate this person too. Maybe others love this person. Maybe some of each.

Q: I just smile at her.

Aaron: We need to be careful, here. If you've got somebody who walks into your office chomping gum loudly, talking in a loud voice, puts their coffee cup onto your desk on top of your work and spills it, compassion learns how to say no. “No coffee on my desk. Please keep your voice down in my office. It's uncomfortable for me.” But it's said from a place of kindness. There is no longer a famous person out there and a “me” reacting. There is compassion for my discomfort at this person's presence and actions or words, and a willingness to say no from that voice of compassion. Then we can start to see what's really bothering us about this person.

There is a man who has done odd jobs for Hal and Barbara for many years. He shows up out of the blue, points out that it's now November and the gutters need cleaning; would they like him to clean them? And he does an excellent job. So, often when he shows up they say yes. He doesn't have a phone number. They never know when he's going to show up. But through the years he's seemed to have shown up.

But it irritates Barbara and Hal both enormously that they can't just call him and say, “Could you come over and clean the gutters?” If they had a phone number, he probably wouldn't show up anyhow. He was going to shovel their snow this winter. He contracted to do that. He came the first time and then he disappeared. They haven't seen him since, not since December. He is as he is. Is he coming in to bother you, or are you going out to bother him? It's up to Barbara and Hal to say to him, “We like your work. If you want to continue to work for us, you need to be more consistent or we need to find somebody else to do the work, period.” If he says, “Well I can't be more consistent,” okay. But they're not willing to let go of him—that's the problem! The problem is not his irresponsibility. The problem is they're attached because he does a good job!

We need to see where the problem is. The self grasping here, “Oh, I want this man to show up to get the gutters cleaned, to rake the lawn.” Usually he shows up by April and cleans out winter debris from the yard. He hasn't shown up. So when Barbara goes home she's going to have to go out in the yard with a rake and rake up twigs and branches and such, or find someone to hire. “Where is he?!” It's not his fault. He never said, “I'm coming.”

Others?

Q: My famous person was present at the beginning of this meeting, my dear friend Q. Q was about to open the second door so he could get his chair. Reasonable enough. I had immediate contraction activity because I spent a night a couple of nights ago staying past last sitting with the door not latched but closed. I never really bothered to figure out how to do that. No, instead I just became instantly afraid that I wouldn't be okay somehow if that door was not exactly the way Q2 fixed it. So on my list of the undesirable characteristics, I did have the awareness to put “controlling.” I could add fear-based. I think it was a clear illustration of my going out to get in Q's way.

Aaron: Going out to bother it. Thank you. And there are different ways to work with that tension. It's not bad that that tension arose; it's simply the result of conditions. But it has arisen, and it's uncomfortable in you. And if you act it out, it's going to be uncomfortable for others. So, one begins just by breathing with it. Feeling tension. If the tension dissolves at that point, that's all you need to do. If it persists then we ask, what is the source of this tension? The one who feels her needs won't be met? Is this an ongoing famous person for me? How am I relating to it? Can I see that this comes up repeatedly and causes discomfort, and then work with Four Empowerments? Or come back and work with this Vision is Mind practice; or just work with metta.  We practice in different ways and see what seems most suitable in this moment. Sometimes deeper wisdom, sometimes the open heart, bringing it together. In the end, we do deepen in the insight that everything in the conditioned realm is impermanent and not of the nature of a separate self. We do open to the unconditioned.

We'll stop here and give you a chance to stretch and then come back for the final sitting.

(session ends)

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