April 29, 2014 Tuesday on the Beach, Emerald Isle Retreat Guided Akashic Field Meditation and Discussion

Guided Akashic Field Meditation and Discussion

(sound of surf in background, some paraphrasing where words were inaudible)

Aaron: Good afternoon. Another lovely afternoon on the beach. I'm very happy to be here with you. I saw some of you swimming, earlier. How was the water? (inaudible responses) I offered a practice to some people in the morning interview group of coming down to the beach to sit in the water's edge....

--I'm always fascinated by what goes up and down the beach. (Someone is riding a bicycle.) I guess the sand is hard enough to support it. Last year some horses cantered by.

I suggested going down to the water's edge about an hour before low tide or an hour before high tide, so that the water is either going out for an hour and then will come in, or the water is coming in and then will go out. Sit at the edge of where the water is just (ebbing). Best to do it as the water is coming in, but you can really do it at either side. If you're doing it when the water is going out, watch it going way out. You may want to sit in chest-deep water and then experience it going out and out until it's beyond you, and then experience it coming back in, an hour at low tide and then an hour coming back in. The water coming in at high tide, coming up to the water's edge and then it touching you, and then slowly it's rising, and then it's going out, and then it's beyond you again.

As you do this, I would ask you to reflect on impermanence. Look at a wave right now. You can see that it has shape, form, mass. There's something there you identify as a wave. Watch it, that breaker coming in. First there's white foam. Watch where there's white foam and then watch the foam dissolve. Keep watching. Watch it come up to the shore and then disappear. Is there anything you can identify as a wave? Where did it go? Where did it come from? What is it? And yet on one level we cannot deny there is a wave. There is a wave and there is nothing there but ocean.

So in the group this morning, I mentioned that everything in the body is like this—the arising of thoughts and sensations, all arising out of conditions, just like the wave, but empty of any solid self. As you sit there by the ocean doing this exercise, you can even make it shorter-- a half an hour before low tide and half an hour after low tide, or half an hour before high tide and half an hour after high tide. You can sit in a chair, water touching the feet on occasion; that's fine. I want you to not think too much about it, but simply work with vipassana, watching, seeing, wave coming, touching, touching, receding, dissolving. This experience arising into the self and then dissolving (again), empty of any self. The wave empty of solidity. The reaction, “Oh, cold!” or “Big wave!” It's just your inner wave going “Oooh!” Then it (subsides).

So do you understand the practice I'm suggesting there? Alright. Let us go on to the akashic field, then. Let's begin a bit of a meditation.

Hear the ocean, waves breaking. Feel the water in the breeze, water element. Feel the dampness in the sand, water element. Feel the water element in the self. Feeling the breeze, air element. Can you feel the warmth of the sun in the breeze? Can you feel the moisture in the breeze? Water element. Feel it in your breath as well. The sand beneath your feet on which you sit, earth element. But it's not solid like a rock. Can you feel all the air within that sand? The moisture in the sand and the heat of the sun reflected? Feel that earth element as part of your body, a distinct earth element and yet containing all the other elements. The warmth of the sun, very pleasant. You can feel it distinctly as sun heat. But I perceive it also in the breeze. The breeze shifts momentarily from cooler to warmer as it catches a bit of sun-warmed air. Can you feel that? Feel it radiating up from the earth, sand. Coming to your own solar plexus, feel the power of the sun within your body, the heart. The solar plexus and heart chakras are the core of that fire.

We understand that here in this conditioned realm, these elements are present. Yet at some level they do seem to arise and pass away, at least they arise and pass away in our noting of them. From where do they originate? Where do they go at the end? Bring awareness to this container. Container is not the best word but I can't find a word in English... Source, or ground. Take all of these elements in your landscape and in yourself and literally climb into a basket with them, a bottomless basket, a ground of all things. The all-ground, the space out of which everything arises and into which it all passes away.

Allow the elements in your personal experience to mingle with each other. They are both distinct and indistinct. The momentary touch of breeze. A moment's awareness of the sunshine. But they are all mingled. With me, climb into this infinite container, this source, this vastness out of which everything is arising and into which it is dissolving. Feel the wonder of arising, and the equal wonder of dissolution, all impermanent. Nothing to fix or hold onto.

It's almost impossible to know akasha by the direct experience, although it does have an energy notation that some of you might pick up. But rather, we can know akasha by that which we experience arising from this and dissolving back into it. Think of a lovely voice singing into space. You cannot see the singer but you know that singer by the voice. The voice is a direct expression of the singer.

Imagine if you will us all sinking down into the core of the earth. Eventually there's a molten core. But if we drill our way down through the ocean, all the ocean's waters are going to funnel down into the hole. Fire and water mingle. And of course somewhere in there there's air and space.

We are not seeking the first origin of the elements; it's not useful to try to find that, only to rest in the field out of which they arise and into which they dissolve, and to feel the infinite reach of that field, and yourself comprised of elements as part of that field.

Now I'm going to lead you on a meditation, one I've led before. I have some notes, but I'm going to change it. So, some similarities, some differences. I would like you each to take the hands of the person next to you. The right hand is the active hand, so it faces face down, left hand faces up. Ground yourself now down through the earth.

We give thanks for these brothers and sisters, earth, air, fire, and water. We open our circle to invite all loving angelic presence. Only that which is of highest intention for service to all beings may participate in this circle. Others are welcome to listen.

Move down through the spine and anchor yourself into the earth, and feel your power coming through the earth.

Please bring in fire, breathing it in the solar plexus. Bring it up through the chakras to the crown chakra. As you breathe out, grounding again.

Wind and water...Find them in the breath and also in the body.

The elements are balanced, in this expression of the divine that you are.

Open to your own highest intention to service to all beings, for an end to suffering for all beings. Based upon that intention, allow yourself to let go of any separateness and feel the presence of the others in the circle. Feel each person's energy flowing into you and out of you, until there is no longer any point where you can say, “That is my energy, and this is his or her energy.” Feel the flow of the energy. Invite it to circle through all the group.

Each of you also feel, as with hands on your shoulders, innumerable loving guides supporting this energy circle. There is so much love.

Here we might offer a prayer also to the Buddha, to the Christ, to all awakened beings, to support our intention towards the release of suffering, the transmutation of distortion in the world.

We acknowledge there is distortion right there with the perfection. We do not fix the distortion but move ourselves into the undistorted and hold that mirror, reminding all sentient beings of the presence of the undistorted.

All together, we're going to journey into the akashic field. Breathing in light, breathing out. Move through whatever doorways or channels open for you. Use the sun, use the sand, use the sea, use the breeze as your vehicle, because all of them lead into the same container. You're connected and yet each of you unique. The vital point here is to allow the ego to release enough so that you can sink down into to that vast sea of loving connection. However you come into it, see a vast golden expanse of water, deep blue with gold lights and radiant diamond light glittering on the golden ripples. Let yourself sink through the surface, knowing you will be able to breathe. Going down, and down... (pause)

Continue to feel the energy moving around in your connection, moving energetically through the circle.

Deep down there is no less radiance...All around you is light, and yet, here and there your attention is attracted by a distorted current, a small whirlpool or eddy. It is not other-than the Divine; it is an expression of the Divine. Yet, as you look into that small whirlpool, you see beings tossed, caught, sucked under and afraid because of the movement of the water. There is nothing there but water, wind, and current, and yet there is that subtle distortion. (pause)

Together, drawing energy from each other and building on each other's intention, “May all beings be free from suffering.“ Right here with this ripple of disturbance is the perfect calm, clear water. For whatever beings may make use of this stillness and space, we hold it open for you. (pause)

Feel the power of the heart's intention to do this, not denying the ripple of disturbance but actually using the energy of that ripple to find the calmness right there in the core of it.

See the ripple gradually settle, quieting. Some beings are breathing a sigh of relief and gladness as they are no longer tossed by the current; others strike out to find a different ripple of disturbance because that is what they presently seek. Your work is not to stop all the ripples of disturbance but to reflect the innate perfection that's right there within the ripple, so that those who have been caught in the illusion of distortion may swim free of it if they so choose. There is always free will. (pause)

Continue to feel the loving energy of this vast circle of loving spirit around you. You are not alone as you do this.

Now we're going to go deeper. Feel the energy in this circle. If any one or several of you feel yourselves caught in your own specific ripple of distortion, such as feeling unworthy to participate in this group, feeling powerless or afraid, silently but with inner intention, send out a message to the circle. “For the highest good of all beings, I choose to free myself of the hold of this illusion of unworthiness, of separation, of fear, or seeking power or fear of power, or the ripple of loneliness. I ask the circle to hold the space for me while I personally move into investigation of this illusion, and especially of the illusion that I am eternally caught in it,” for no one has ever truly been caught. (pause)

You are not imposing on the group, because you are the group, each of you finding comfort and support from the others. Find what it is that sparks this present distortion; possibly what you carried up the mountain last night, little bits of it still clinging.

What does it mean to be free? Feel that freedom, that true freedom, in this moment, right there with any distortion. (pause)

I'm going to be quiet for a while. You may or may not feel the others in the circle directly. You may simply feel some energy, or not even that. You may not know where it's coming from, or who. You may feel some need and not know from whom or where it comes. Simply respond with your hearts. Don't forget the vast circle of spirit behind you, hands on your shoulders and backs, backing you up and supporting you. Don't be afraid to ask for help, believing, “I'm speaking out of turn and others may need the help more.” There is energy and healing here for all who seek it, for millions far beyond your circle. I'll be quiet now for a while...(Long pause)

As in our exercise the other day, any time you energetically feel somebody floundering and afraid or see somebody's boat about to tip over, first sink yourself down into the depths to the stillness and then energetically reach out and offer whatever is called for. (pause)

As she meditates, Barbara is feeling the pain of the world's orphaned and homeless children, seeing it as a deep ripple of disturbance in the akashic field. Each of these children experiencing the results of their own karma, and yet their karmic history also includes the possibility of release and balancing of those old and painful results. You cannot save these children, only open your hearts to them and reflect joy, love, welcoming, to help them to be ready to say no to the illusion of a necessity for their own isolation and bereavement. The ripples you see may be personal, or within the group, or within the world, as Barbara's. Attend to whatever comes. (pause)

Know that you sit in a vast circle of elders. The thought might occur to you, “I am not worthy to be part of this circle.” There is never a question of worthy or unworthy, only of readiness. When your heart tells you, “I must do this,” then you are ready. It is a circle of those who have taken the bodhisattva vow or its equivalent in other traditions, who are avowed to speak up for those with no voice; to help shelter those who are homeless; to see for those who are blind and hear for those who are deaf; to hold love for those who feel bereft of love.

Does your heart prompt you? I think it does. So follow the leadings of the heart.

Each of you is welcomed and blessed into this circle. The power of this circle is your power, and the heart of this circle is your heart. It is only ego's voice that fears that power. Know yourself and your intentions, that you will never misuse the power, but only will use it for the highest good. (pause)

This fear is part of what stops you from entering fully into the field, using your power for the good. But of course you are human. There are still negative distortions. Just hold space for them and let them dissolve.

See one or several of the great Masters as part of the circle, and let him or her hold your attention, hold your inner eye and touch your heart. There may be some fear, “I am not worthy.” NO ONE is ever unworthy. Come forth and be blessed by this divine presence. Feel his or her love and blessing.

Open to the intention to walk by his or her side, to support and be supported. And once more, send that energy down into whatever distortions, whatever rips in the fabric - of the self, of the universe,  which are all the same thing - that you may find. Go deep here, and with courage, using this energy to transform negativity, fear and hatred, greed and anger in whatever form it appears. Not to throw it away but to transmute the energy to love and for the highest good. (pause)

You may be able to feel when you are resting stably in this field and when you slip out. When you slip out, simply use your vipassana practice, noting “contracting, separating.” That which is aware of separation is not separate. It's just another ripple of distortion. Go deeper into the field to the place where that ripple does not exist, down as far as you need to, to quietness, and then use your energy to transmute that distortion. Thus, utelize the distortion itself as a force of love. (pause)

May I abide in well-being. May all beings abide in well-being. Knowing the reality of that well-being of all. The radiant heart is so spacious. Your heart becomes the still depth so that the swirling whirlpools die out in that heart energy, and fade away. This is your true power. (longer pause)

As we begin to close this circle, remember that you never withdraw from it, you only shift your weight from one foot to the other, so to speak, one leg always in the circle, hands always connected, grounded in the Dharmakaya and with one hand always within its heart. And yet with the eyes of compassion looking out onto this relative world, you are able to go and take care of your children or your business, to support your relationships, and so forth, always with kindness and free from reactivity to fear. When fear arises, that becomes the ripple of disturbance to hold and invite into the still depths until it dissolves.

Keep connected to this circle, both this smaller circle and the greater circle of which you are always a part. Do not be afraid of your power. That fear is what separates most beings from this circle. Feel the angelic presence behind you that will guide you and help keep you on a true course. Feel your own highest self, your own highest intentions for love. The power will not be abused.

You may open your eyes... Take a deep breath...

Whatever good may have come of this meditation, we offer it out to the highest benefit of all beings. Through our own heart's work, may all beings find freedom, happiness and peace.

I want to invite you now to take just 2 to 5 minutes to get up, stretch, walk down to the water, keeping in silence for a few minutes, to hold this energy. Then we'll come back and talk about it.

Barbara: last night I had a profound experience  and wrote about it before I turned to this transcript to review it. It seems appropriate to paste in my journal entry here.

May 9, 2014 journal, written on an airplane. Last night I awakened to use the bathroom. Some worrying thoughts came when I got back in bed; timingfor the June retreat and October workshop early registration, concern that both will be undersubscribed because of the registration timing and not cover expenses; I have thought of this before.... also some concerns about DSC as it is evolving, and if it will continue to be a venue that allows me to teach what I need to teach. I lay in bed watching tension in body and mind; also the place free of tension. I could see ripples of tension as they worked through the body, and the possibility to go where those ripples were not or to stay with them but without identity with them. For awhile I just watched this.

My phrasing above,. “what I need to teach;” I'm increasingly clear about what I need to teach in terms of non-dual living, and to invite spirit to teach through me. I lay in bed at 3AM, for almost an hour, just meditating and watching this flow of arising and dissolving thought and sensation, resting in  a spacious place but very aware of how the body picks uop these movements and repeats them. The term “ripples of distortion” came to me. I could really see, hear and feel the ripples right there with the space where they were not. I began to sense a strong basic ‘ripple of distortion,' something very distorted and ‘wrong', and felt a moment of fear, as if something very dark was trying to penetrate into the earth. I asked Aaron, “Is this real or my imagination and if real, why have I not felt it in this way before?” He said it is “real;” in other words, it is an existent object arisen from conditions. I have not experienced it because I have not gone so deep into the place of its origin and seen so clearly where it is not. The dirty window looks clean until you see it contrasted to the sparkling glass.

Interestingly, as i type, on the movie screen in the aisle is spiderman battling some malevolent creature!

So I lay in bed for another hour, just holding the ground as reflection to this negativity and offering words of metta from my heart. I had the feeling there was some terrible wrongness happening on earth at that moment - a volcano erupting, an act of terrorism, some nameless darkness and negativity. Reaching into the Field for the source, the very first movement into that heavy vibration, without any intellectual or conceptual idea of what it was, I just found the spaciousness and light also there and shined it back. Almost immediately as i did this, I was aware of a multitude of others with me doing the same;  it felt like both human and angelic presences, all in accord, “offer love to it.”

I was moved into a deeply peaceful and openhearted place. Gradually I felt the negativity, heavy vibration, darkness and contraction lessen; after about another hour, I fell asleep.

Aaron, can you say anything about this experience?

Aaron: your tension and contraction invited awareness of this larger heaviness; you responded as you have practiced, offering love. You connected through the akashic field to many others doing the same. It was effective. That negativity was not permitted to consume you or others. It was met with light and with firm compassion. This is the power of work within the akashic field.  This plane seating is very uncomfortable for you and you are tired too. It is hard for you to type in the nuances of my thoughts. We will continue later.

(break)

Barbara: We'd like to hear some about what you experienced. Hopefully you got some taste of the experience of the akashic field. Maybe not. I'd like to hear what you experienced.

Q: I just felt a profound sense of peace and equanimity and oneness. The big thing for me was the sense of supreme confidence.

Q: I had some of the same experiences he had, a lot of calm stillness. But my hands, I was holding (two others') hands with my right hand, and it was very soft and gentle. I was holding Q's hand with my left hand and it was very hard (inaudible) and heavy. As the meditation went on, his hand began to weigh down on my hand and become a little bit uncomfortable. But if I just kind of went deeper into that calm still place, that sense of discomfort subsided greatly.

Q: When we started I was in a very uncomfortable seated position, which distracted me quite a bit. Yet the power of the group energy took hold and was more predominant. I felt as if we were a ball of yarn, all woven together and wrapped within and without. Overall there was a feeling of profound truth and beauty, and I understand why I'm here on the planet.

Barbara: Thank you; For others, If you did not experience something profound, that's okay. You can just say, “I experienced some calmness,” or a lot of agitation, or whatever the experience was.

Q: In the beginning I felt really strong connections going around the circle, the strong energy passing through me and around the circle, and I could almost feel everybody. That was really something I'd never experienced quite like that. But then when we started going down, I couldn't hear Barbara very well, so I'm not sure.... I just tried to go to place of centeredness in the earth, and I'm not sure I quite got to the akashic field or not.

Q: There was a powerful connection with everybody. Everything sunk very heavy, extremely heavy. So there was this balance. And then the distortions became like threads of gold, seams that had been healed. So, like golden fractures.

Q: I've been experiencing a lot of turmoil and skepticism lately, so I came into the circle with those things. But I thought toward the end perhaps I'm ready to let those go now.

Q: Initially like some of the others I was feeling a little discomfort in my hands, the positions, but I got to a place where I didn't feel it at all. But I was focusing in on the energy and I felt just the very strong connection and transmission of energy. Then when I went down into what I'm hoping was the akashic field, I just experienced this bright light and just a very strong heartfelt connection with the support of the group, of being of service for the benefit of all. It felt like such a strong experience. Like we could do it.

Q: Like Q I had trouble hearing, particularly after the going down part. But what occurred to me was that I do have hearing loss, I'm wearing hearing aids, but I still cannot hear as well as people that don't have hearing loss. And it's a miniscule amount compared to what Barbara has experienced. I realized that sense of aloneness and separateness was coming up for me. But at the same time, energetically I felt intense connectedness, particularly with Q. I had a very strong image of sending the energy around the circle, and it felt like it was merged and circling. And it occurred to me how that was an example earlier, the hearing issue, of the self getting in the way, because there was profound connection energetically. And then I could let go of struggling to hear.

Q: I could feel the intense group energy, it was very lovely. And I also had very intense back pain because of the position I was in. I thought, well, can I ask for help for myself? Which was difficult, to say that. But if I'm going to be of service...

Barbara: Did you eventually ask?

Q: Yes, and it helped. It went away. And that was a lesson right there, to ask for help. So I was able to continue the exercise and continue to go deeper. My experience was infinite depth; there was no bottom to it. I saw faces and little cells with thorny growth around them, as the distortions. I just offered what love I could to those distortions.

Q: My experience was interesting. I saw a lot of light compared to last year's retreat when we did the exercise, a white and yellow light. Then things did start coming up. I saw a beautiful horse, and I thought maybe it was from Q because he had experience with horses. I just added what I could. I saw other things. Then there was the Good Fairy from The Wizard of Oz. I thought, this one's from me! I tried to understand what it was about. Then I remembered Dorothy wanted to go home, but she was already home. So there's nothing to reach for, in other words.

I also felt a lot of good feelings when we were told that we were never separated from the group. I liked that because I'm pretty much alone in Texas, and it feels good to have somebody, both these human ones and our spirit support.

Barbara: Anybody else? (no) Okay, thank you all for sharing. We cannot define the akashic field and hand it to you on a silver platter. We can only give you experiences that will lead you into your own personal experience of what this akashic field may be like. It's a bit like the blind men and the elephant, do you know that story? Several blind men come together and they say, “We just met an elephant. What is an elephant like?” One says, “It's thick, like a tree trunk.” Another says, “It's long and skinny, like a snake.” The third says, “No, it's like a big wall.” And a fourth says, “No, it's very skinny, like a skinny long snake with hair on the end.”

You're each getting a piece of your experience of the akashic field, but it's all valid. The important thing is not to try to figure out what is the akashic field but to trust your experience of it and ask yourself: in moments when I'm feeling shaky, agitated, strong emotion, fear, confusion, pain, how can I go into this field, find that which calms and balances the agitation, the ease that balances pain, the joy that balances sadness? Knowing it's here in this field. If I'm holding on to the agitation, the pain, the grief, then I can't see what's beyond it. But if I trust the possibility to go into this field, not to get rid of the difficult emotion but really to transmute it, reuse its energy, after we learn how to do it more with ourselves, we find we can do it more with others.

Sometimes it's as simple as sitting with a friend who's very upset. On one level you're listening. On another level, sometimes one might do tonglen with a friend. But here one simply drops into the akashic field, sees where the friend is shaking in that boat, drops down into the stillness, helps bring the friend consciously or unconsciously down into that still place. You cannot do it against somebody's will, so if you invite and they don't come, they're not ready. You don't have to ask, “Can I invite you into the akashic field?” In tonglen, you really have to ask people, “May I do tonglen with you?” But here, because you cannot push somebody into that space, you can only open the door, so you're free to open the door. And sometimes it will transform the situation and sometimes it won't. Practice with it for yourself.

Q: I'm confused. How is the akashic field different from spaciousness?

Barbara: Spaciousness is one attribute of the akashic field. Energy is one attribute. Light is one attribute. The akashic field itself is none of these, specifically; they're all expressions of it. It's the field that contains everything. So if it contains light, it contains darkness. If it contains energy, it contains stillness. If it contains spaciousness, it also contains contraction.

Q: So at this point if we want to enter it, we do it by intention?

Barbara: We do it by intention, but there's a difference between grasping, “I want,” and the heart-centered intention. Here I see these ripples of distortion, the people in boats screaming and flipping over, and me as ego, I can't do anything. But I can lower down into that depth where I'm so centered in the field that it helps to find the stillness in the waters above me.

I'm sure all of you have been at some time in a situation where there was a lot of tension in a room. By choosing not to become part of the agitation in the room, but just centering into your own heart, you could feel a sense of holding an anchor that allowed stilling of the tension. That's basically what we're doing.

Q: How does the akashic field differ from pure awareness?

Barbara: Pure awareness is the consciousness that rests in the akashic field. The akashic field is a space, a non-thing. Pure awareness rests in that no-thing-ness, or that everythingness, as you would have it. But pure awareness is consciousness. Consciousness takes an object. One object of pure awareness can be the akashic field. So we enter into the akashic field by resting in awareness. Does that make sense?

Q: No. (laughter)

Barbara: We'll try it again!  Every consciousness takes an object. Seeing consciousness, seeing the ocean. Thinking consciousness, thinking a memory or planning thought. Pure awareness, supramundane consciousness, takes an object that is an expression of the Unconditioned. It may be the expression of nada or luminosity or spaciousness or energy. Each of these is expressing out of the akashic field, but here we're going one step deeper, all the way into the field, the place where all of these expressions of the Unconditioned come together, and where they stop. This cessation experience is at the heart of the akashic field. It's the place where nothing is arising or passing away.

Q: When we descend, do we go into that primordial purity?

Barbara: You go into the All Ground? The primordial purity is one level of the All Ground. The primordial purity is completely free of distortion, but when you go into the akashic field you have to hold both the perfection and the distortion. If you go only into the primordial purity, you're shutting out the distortion. Therefore you can't transmute it. So we go into the space that holds it all.

We're running out of time. Tomorrow I want to talk about, or Aaron will talk about, how this relates to vipassana. Aaron says he's not sure about this yet, he will have to think about it and it will depend on the weather, but he would like to do another different, pretty much non-verbal exercise of the akashic field. He wonders how many of you would be comfortable to go into that heated swimming pool for about a half hour? We'll go into it together and Aaron will direct us in an akashic field swim dance movement within the water. So he says please come with a bathing suit and something warm to wrap yourself in afterward when we get out to talk...

Q: Can we record the guided meditation once we receive the transcript, and do it alone at home?

Barbara: I will be glad to email out to all of you the audio-file, the guided meditation we just did. If you don't get it, let me know. (not yet sent)

(recording ends)

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