Venture Fourth Weekly Work
Week Seven

Humility/ honor & respect/ mudita/ patience/ compassion

Now we add:

Sept. 20: Gratitude: Opposite: assumption / near enemy: fawning

You can see how true gratitude connects to true humility and respect, from an empty place, free of ego. Otherwise we have a fawning kind of gratitude that feels unworthy of what it receives, or an imperious gratitude that feels entitled.

Gratitude will be a core practice through these two years. If you haven’t already done so, you may wish to begin this now by bringing to awareness as you awake a sense of gratitude for this day and your intention to be of service to all beings with the gift of this day.

So often we get caught up in what we lack and find it hard to feel gratitude in a difficult situation. About 10 years ago I was in the hospital with a cellulitis infection in my leg. It was extremely painful, I felt ill with a high fever, and the antibiotics they were trying had not worked. The infection was spreading up the leg and the doctors had begun to discuss the need for amputation if they could not stop the spread. There was great pain and there was fear. It consumed all my attention; how to “fix” the leg…”

One morning as I lay there in the hospital bed, Aaron said to me, “Please practice gratitude.” Anger arose. I think it’s the closest I have ever come to hitting Aaron, if such was possible. He replied gently, “Do you have a toothache?” No. “Does your head hurt?” No. “How about the other leg? Any pain there?” No. “Stomach ache?” No. “Are you breathing well?” Yes. “Please practice gratitude for all the healthy parts of the body.”

Of course I did as he asked. As I opened with love to this body and felt true gratitude for how well it had served me though so many years, my heart softened from the fear with which it was so engaged. Slowly the heart opened enough to move to the painful leg and infection. There wasn’t yet gratitude for the experience; that would only come later. But there was heart opening that allowed me to embrace this leg at last, to embrace the pain and the human who was experiencing it.

I have one other very significant memory of the power of gratitude as part of healing. Some of you have heard this story from 1960. I was picketing at a nuclear submarine plant, Electric Boat Company. The plant workers were angry; in their eyes, we were endangering their jobs. A man pushed me, then began to kick at me as I lay on the ground. I curled up and protected my head as I had been instructed. There was fear, anger and also some shame with the thought, “I’m the ‘peace worker;’ I shouldn’t be angry.” People pulled him off; as he was led away he called back, “I’ll see you next week if you’re not too scared.”

I knew I had to return. I was blessed to have counseling from a remarkable pacifist elder, AJ Muste, through the week. I did return the next Saturday and we went through exactly the same scenario. As the weeks past, we became the Saturday afternoon entertainment and a sizeable crowd gathered to watch. I knew by then that he didn’t intend to break bones, only to humiliate me. Every week I lay there, protecting my face and feeling anger, fear and shame.

As I reflect on what broke the cycle, I realize that finally one week I was able to note his fear along with my own, and some compassion opened my heart. Then there was a strong feeling of gratitude for the parts we were both playing in this almost choreographed weekly dance that was witnessed by many people (and more through media) and was asking those people to look into their own hearts. A gradual shift in my energy came, as instead of hating the situation, some gratitude opened and then deepened. We were both results of our own conditioning and we were each doing what we needed to do. There was gratitude for these opportunities to teach/ learn, to practice non-harm and demonstrate it, and to hear this brother’s pain.

My whole energy field must have softened with this understanding, no longer holding such armoring. I looked up and met his eyes for the first time in all these weeks, and he met mine. Then he asked me, “Why do you keep coming back?” Without waiting for my answer, he offered his hand and helped me to stand. He asked it again and I suggested we go somewhere quiet where we could talk. About 6 of his friends and 6 of the Polaris Action group went off to a local pizza place and talked. As the weeks passed, more and more people participated in this dialogue, which moved to the CNVA office in New London. Some workers even quit their Electric Boat Co. jobs and other suitable work was found for them in the area. So here is an example of how gratitude opened real doors of communication. See my pasted material below.

Now I am finding with some irritation that I left my very highlighted copy of Everyday Holiness in Florida or on the airplane. I had intended to speak to some of the points Morinis makes in the book. It will need to wait until I get a new copy; an opportunity for me to practice patience and compassion.

In writing above, I want to help emphasize that while it’s easy to have gratitude for the notably good things in our lives, we can also find gratitude even in challenging situations. Gratitude then can really open the heart. Don’t try to force it; just start with what comes easily and allow the opening heart to lead the way. Gratitude exists right there with fear, and will reveal itself if we give it the chance. It exists in every moment. Try to feel the energy of it, not just gratitude as a thought. Rest in gratitude, not “think” gratitude.

Please try working with gratitude when you first awaken. In that moment of awakening, even on a dismal day with some hard things coming up, for what might you truly feel grateful? Hold it in your heart: friendship; that there is no toothache; the opportunity to grow and learn though this incarnation; the ray of sunshine coming in the room…. I have a crystal in one window that often broadcasts a rainbow around the room. It reminds me to smile! I appreciate the things of beauty in the world, which is not a denial of the real suffering. My dog brings his soft squirrel toy for me to throw, squeaking it into my lap. I can’t help but smile; as the heart opens, there is gratitude that this dear fellow is part of my life. Take time with each meal to start with a pause at the wonder that what you are about to eat has come to you probably from all over the globe. Same with dressing; pause and look at the clothes labels. These items were made all over the world, sometimes through plants grown all over, the plants harvested, shaped into useable substance and then sewn by hands worldwide.

What is the relationship between mindfulness, appreciation and gratitude? How can there be gratitude if we are not mindful of the riches we receive?

Finally, here is an exercise from Aaron. Look deeply at your own face in the mirror for several minutes. Hold the gaze of your eyes. Can there be gratitude for the human who looks back out at you?

On other topics, please continue with the vipassana practice and with work with your guides/ power animals/ high self. It doesn’t matter what you call these expressions of love. Just open to and spend some time in their energy every day. You may or may not “hear” them; it’s okay either way. At the close, thank them for their presence. Opening to their energy does change us.

And keep the journals coming. Now that we’re meeting regularly, I may not write back, but I DO read everything, and usually highlight things to bring to our phone talks. If you have a specific question, please point that out and I will respond to it.

With love, Barbara

As an aside, I was curious to see how correct my memory is. I looked on line and found many articles about Polaris Action but not this precise story above. Just adding as item of possible interest. No need to read this. http://www.dkosopedia.com/wiki/Committee_for_Non-Violent_Action

In the summer of 1960, CNVA launched the "Polaris Action" campaign, protesting submarines carrying Polaris ballistic missiles with nuclear warheads. Protests happened up and down the east coast, but were focused in Groton, Connecticut. Groton had a US Navy submarine base, and was where the Electric Boat Company, which was building submarines, was located. CNVA reached out to the local community, and held a long vigil outside of the company. When a new submarine was launched, CNVA would sail up to it in canoes and rowboats, and sometimes succeeded in boarding the submarines. Afterwards, the CNVA activists would be arrested.

And this: from the book radical pacifism from the Union Eight to the Chicago Seven By James Tracy