Venture Fourth Weekly Work
Week Seventeen Jan 26

Good morning from Brazil. Half my group, the 2-week people, have just left. Seven remain here with me. It's been a wonderful journey together. I've been appreciating your journals too, and am with you in spirit if not in typed word.

Especially here at the Casa, the topics of trust and of awe have been predominant for me.

Awe: (From my journal) The heart opens dramatically and fills with joy. Negative thoughts cannot function in that setting. I feel awe often at the Casa, felt it as I watched him walk ( a man with muscular dystrophy who is in a wheelchair, but walked the whole length of the current room), feel it with the book (How did I ever write that?), and felt it watching the light in the water at the waterfall yesterday. Radiance, far beyond mere water.

Trust: This is the biggest issue for me here, even after 7 years. I should know by now that my needs are heard. Again from my journal (This journal is posted on line, on http://barbarainbrazil.posterous.com/ but I don't want to assume people are reading it; please forgive any repetition)

Heather and I talked after; she will translate for me tomorrow in the line. My shoulders are 85% pain free day and night. There was limited range of motion that we discussed and she said to show the motion range to the Entity. She'll also ask about the growth on my face (which has shrunk to 1/3 the size it was 3 weeks ago and is no longer painful or oozing). She will thank them for finding an ideal publisher, and will ask if I should stay in their current next week, after she leaves this weekend.

After lunch I felt very tired and decided to nap. I lie down in bed with Casa water on a cloth on my eyes and down to my ears and fell asleep. I kept dreaming that Entities were working on me. Each time I came close to waking, it felt like a drugged sleep, like coming out of general anesthetic. I just could not move or open my eyes. Finally after over 3 hours I literally dragged myself awake. It took another hour, just sitting in the swing chair, before I could function. As I sat there, I noticed that the right eye could see colors for the first time since the eye damage! For 5 years that eye has seen only in shades of grey. Now I was seeing the red brick color, the green plants, and the yellow of the wall.

This morning I have 50% more range of motion in the shoulders.

So I go through this dance here, feeling they are not attending to my needs, or I would be hearing by now, then reminded that my needs are being attended, as best as is possible, and that patience is needed. I continue to explore what supports trust and what weakens it. I also am asking what the distinction is, if any, between trust and faith.

This prayer from Teresa of Avila has been a constant companion this trip:

Be not perplexed

Be not afraid.

Everything passes.

God does not change.

Patience wins all things.

He who has God lacks nothing.

God alone suffices.

Present work: I am pasting in our present schedule.

Jan. 24 - sila/ morality

Jan. 31 - concentration

Feb 7 - mindfulness

Feb. 14 - wisdom

I would like you to work with concentration and mindfulness together, and also together with sila and wisdom, to better understand how the three legs of dhamma –sila, panna and samadhi – support each other. Work to know each and how each relates to the others.

Feb 21 - looking at the entirety of the 8 fold path

Feb 28: Part 3, and especially chapter 27, "Identifying your spiritual curriculum"

Between now and the next intensive please read Putting on the Mind of Christ, parts 3 and 4, pages 117 through 214. Reflect on these levels of consciousness.

March 7 – begin the new stage, working each week with one or 4 to 6 qualities of your choice. I'll write more about that in a few weeks.