Venture Fourth Weekly Work
Week One

In our weekly work together, you will begin by observing certain qualities of the mind and heart for 2 reasons, 1) to nurture the beautiful qualities of mind and heart and “abandon the unwholesome,” as the sutta phrases it¹, and 2) to more deeply experience the non-duality of the states that arise. You have frequently heard me say, “That which is aware of anger is not angry,” and similar statements. As we learn balance and skillful effort, we begin to understand that we are not creating or doing away with anything. We are allowing the clearing of the surface smudges so the innate radiance of the ground may shine forth. We do not get rid of anger, or create kindness. Rather, we watch the arising of negative states, observe the simultaneous presence of loving states, and continuously make the choice, where to place the energy and attention. As you bring energy to the wholesome states, the unwholesome states are divested of energy and eventually they will fall away. This is how we cultivate the wholesome and abandon the unwholesome.

It does take effort and strong intention not to act out the unwholesome states, but “If it was not possible, I would not ask you to do it.” Here we see the importance of a vipassana practice, wherein one watches the arising of a state such as anger, knows it as an object arisen in mind and body, knows it as pleasant or unpleasant (yes, anger is sometimes felt as pleasant, as it seems to empower), knows the feeling also as an object, and finally comes back to the empty Awareness that watches this show run over and over, and rests in Awareness.

In the first six months of Venture Fourth we will focus on a list of wholesome qualities of the mind and heart, and the qualities that block the fullest expression of the wholesome ones. This list is compiled from Alan Morinis’ book, Everyday Holiness, and from the traditional wholesome mind states (10 paramitas) and 4 brahma-viharas of which the Dharma speaks. They are placed below in alphabetical order. We will work with them in the order I suggest, neither from the book nor alphabetically, but in a natural way so each supports the next. You will all work with the same quality within any one week, and our private meeting will include discussion of that experience.

The attached chart from Silvia Boorstein will be of help as you become increasingly familiar with the qualities of the heart. The list of qualities shows the quality, the obstruction to that quality, and the near enemy of the quality. In your work you will attend to both. For example, when selfishness arises, where is generosity? Your work is 1) not to enact the selfishness but to attend to it and 2) to nurture the seed of generosity, however small it may appear. What supports generosity in that moment? What blocks it? In this moment of self centered contraction and fear, where is the already existent generous heart and will?

With each quality, we will ask those questions. What supports the fullest expression of this quality? What blocks its expression? When it seems lacking, for example when there is great anger and no experience of compassion, ask, “Where is this loving expression now?” and “If I was not experiencing this (this negative thought or emotion) so strongly, what might I be experiencing?” Here you begin to see more deeply into what lies beyond a persistent thought or emotion,

You will note as you work with these qualities that each shapes many others. How do wisdom and compassion intertwine with all these qualities?

There are two additional qualities, intimacy and spaciousness, that I did not add to the list. Both are deeply connected to many of these qualities so we will watch them throughout the program. With intimacy you are connected to the object, knowing you and object as non-dual. With that connection, there is no contraction trying to maintain a self, or separation. There is spaciousness, joy and ease. With non-intimacy, there is an experience of contraction, a depressed, in-drawn energy and trying to maintain the separate self. In each of the qualities below, you will find that body and mental contraction are signals that there is not yet ease and balance, not full opening into the beautiful quality. It is there; one just has not yet fully realized it.

I ask you to do three things daily: daily meditation; mindfulness with the quality of the week and to do the exercises; keeping of a spiritual journal. Here you will write, at length or with brevity as you wish, about the vipassana sitting of the day and about your experiences with the exercises. I would ask you to send these weekly journals or the notes you wish to offer, derived from the journals, by email each Sunday. They will form a base for our private meeting of the following week.

The exercises will be a continuous part of practice. Please always remember that you are NOT striving to “fix” anything broken in the self, but that the aspiration is a deeper awareness of the simultaneity of the positive traits and their negative reflections, and the deeper seeing of 1) choice and 2) what blocks the beautiful trait that is always present and how it may be more fully invited forth.

At the close of this first 6 months, each participant will choose several qualities that will be the focus for the next 6 months, qualities that are the most challenging for each person.

The Periodic Table of Virtue from Sylvia Boorstein

Refining the Qualities of the Heart

Particular Expressions of a Compassionate Heart Based on the ten paramitas

Pay Attention, for Goodness’ Sake
by Silvia Boorstein

Let us look at each of the characteristics and, where possible, regard both it’s opposite and what is sometimes called the “near enemy,” that is, that which masquerades as the quality but is instead that which opposes. The “near enemy” is a superficial or misleading twin of a valuable state or attitude. My suggestions are not ultimate statements. Feel free to share your own opposites and near enemies. Together we will assemble a more final list. Taken again in alphabetical order:

Awe as mix of wonder and fear (Yirah): Opposite; pride / near enemy: servitude

Balance (order): opposite: confusion / near enemy: control

Compassion (Karuna): opposite: hatred, cruelty / near enemy: pity

Concentration: Opposite: unfocused mind / near enemy: withdrawal from the present

Energy and effort: Opposite: laziness / near enemy: force

Enthusiasm / determination: Opposite: fear / near enemy: grasping

Equanimity (Upekkha): Opposite: contracted energy and mind, greed / near enemy: indifference, dissociation

Faith: Opposite: distrust / near enemy: mindless submission / resignation

Generosity: Opposite: stinginess/ greed/ near enemy: force to give

Gladness for others (Mudita): Opposite: envy / near enemy: pretense of gladness; grasping at pleasant experience out of a sense of insufficiency or lack comparison, hypocrisy, insincerity, joy for others but tinged with identification (my team, my child).

Gratitude: Opposite: assumption / near enemy: fawning

Honor / respect: Opposite: disrespect / near enemy: taking for granted

Humility: opposite: arrogance; pride / near enemy: servitude; false humility

Loving-kindness (Metta): Opposite: hatred / near enemy: attachment

Moderation: Opposite: gluttony / near enemy: withdrawal

Morality (sila): Opposite: self service / near enemy: pretense of truth

Patience: Opposite: impatience / near enemy: stoicism

Simplicity: Opposite: greed/ materialism / near enemy: rigid renunciation

Renunciation: Opposite: grasping / near enemy: denial of pleasure

Responsibility: Opposite: irresponsibility / near enemy: control

Silence / stillness: Opposite: loudness/ near enemy: withdrawal

Truthfulness: Opposite: lying/ near enemy: manipulative speech posing as truth

Trust: Opposite: distrust / near enemy: blind faith

Wisdom: Opposite: ignorance / near enemy: attachment to views

In the further pages, these qualities will be discussed at more length, along with exercises to do as you work with each one. As you do the exercises, please reflect on the interconnections between these qualities, and notice what is easy and where you are challenged.

Please notice that these qualities do have an opposite, but that the true expression of the quality brings it to the center. For example, we start with humility. Looking at humility and the line Morinis offers of self-effacement ---humility --- pride--- arrogance

As I regard what seems to be a more balanced and true state of humility I see it slightly differently. Humility sits in the middle, free of any contraction, mostly free of any self-stories; it is grounded in metta and upekkha. The line looks like this to me

Fear and low self-esteem/ unworthiness –Self-effacement – humility – pride – arrogance

The same is true of the other qualities, for example, respect for others and responsibility. Each rests in that same center of non-self. Given the line, with 3 parts for respect:

self centeredness that cannot respect anything beyond the personal self – respect from a place of kindness and emptiness – forced respect that is also fearful and self centered.

Irresponsibility from a place of service to self, uncaring about another – true responsibility – an attempt to be someone who is responsible, but still caught in the self and wanting to be good.

This last example takes us back to the “near enemy”. Note that at either end there is ego. With the true characteristic, there is no one being responsible, respectful, kind and so forth. Listing it in 5 placements as we did with humility gives more space for the human who is trying, but has not yet opened fully to emptiness of the self. It will not always appear easily as five, and that is fine.

Please refrain from creating a duality as you work with these qualities.

I ask you to begin a month before our intensive, so there is time to develop a practice with these, with which we can dialogue when we gather together. The assignment below will take you to the intensive. Further qualities and the exercises will be given in a timely way. Our weekly telephone or personal meetings will begin after the intensive. However, we welcome your journal writings on a weekly basis for this month before the intensive and will reply where appropriate.

Barbara: At the intensive we will establish a meeting schedule.

July 26: Humility: Humility: opposite: pride leading to arrogance / near enemy: servitude; false humility

Our first quality will be humility, and that is where Alan Morinis begins also. I ask you to begin this work before we meet in August so together we can discuss your experiences and ways of working. Most qualities will have one week in this first round. As I write this guidebook, I will not repeat Morinis’ words, as he is a clear teacher, but will try to add material and exercises geared specifically to our dharma background and practice.

Humility and self-esteem are not opposites. As Morinis points out, without self-esteem one is always trying to “look good” and find praise, and cannot act and speak with humility. Try to understand his line of self-debasement/ humility/ pride/ arrogance. Try it as I suggest above, with humility in the very center. If pride arises, let it not move to arrogance. When there is humility, watch out for self-debasement and then very low self-esteem. See how the ego comes in at either end.

Note in your mind and journal when there is a true experience of humility, even if fleeting. Note also when you sense the possibility of humility but it is blocked from fullest expression. Bring attention to the blockage and see what is there? Is there anything solid? Are there stories that play repetitively? How can you relate to them with kindness, but still with a firm intention not to be caught up in them? What happens to the story when it is 1) noted and 2) when there is clear statement not to perpetuate the story because the highest intention is for the good of all beings and the story does harm?

It will be helpful to start each day with a statement of your deepest intention, such as, “I consecrate this mind, body and energy to service to the Light and to the highest good of all beings. I hold the intention to release all that does not support this intention.” Frame it in your own words. Make it a daily practice. Not if pride or self-effacement enter as you state this intention.

You will become more aware of a subtle tension that accompanies any pride or self-effacement. Note it as “tension,” and watch it. There is no fixing, only attention. I would ask you to find a loose fitting rubber band and wear it on your wrist. It is a device to bring sharper attention to “tension.” When you note tension, draw back the rubber band and feel the tension there. Then gently release it (no snapping it; this is not punishment for tension), and note the release of tension in the self. This practice will help you see the arising of unbalanced tension more quickly and attend to it. Continue to use the rubber band as you work with the other qualities, always using it to remind you to attend to unbalanced tension.

August 2: Honor; respect: Honor / respect: Opposite: disrespect / near enemy: taking for granted. Here we will move aside from Morinis’ order for a week. As you discovered in your work with Humility, self-respect involves respect for others. What is respectful action and speech? It is always grounded in choice for the highest good and with no intention to harm.

Our guideline is always, does the movement come from a place of loving-kindness, non-contraction and intention for the highest good, or does it come from a place of self-centeredness. Often the outer form looks the same and we must look deeper. Morinis’ story on page 49 (Humility) is helpful here. The man who sits in the same seat all the time is said to be humble. That may be so, but not always. Why does he take the same seat? Is it so others know what to expect, to free the seats for others who wish him seated first, or is it from a place that says, “This is mine; you can find your own.”

Aug.9: Mudita (gladness for others): The near enemy is grasping at pleasant experience out of a sense of insufficiency or lack. Mudita is usually translated as "sympathetic" or "altruistic" joy, the pleasure that comes from delighting in other people's well-being rather than begrudging it. Many Buddhist teachers interpret mudita more broadly as referring to an inner spring of infinite joy that is available to everyone at all times, regardless of circumstances. The more deeply one drinks of this spring, the more secure one becomes in one's own abundant happiness, and the easier it then becomes to relish the joy of other people.

We can easily see how developing joy for others is part of honoring and respecting others. This week we will continue to work with honor and respect with a special focus on Mudita. What supports such gladness and what blocks it? How do the 3 qualities with which you have worked thus far support each other?

Begin your work with Mudita in the same way you have been trained to work with metta. Begin with a loved one, noting the joy you feel at this person’s good fortune and also that you feel sadness when this person suffers. Move on to a neutral person and then to the difficult person. Finally, be sure to include yourself and to note the joy you feel at your own well-being.

Then carry the practice into your every day life.

The Access to Insight web site gives us these instructions on Mudita, from Visuddhi Magga.

Excerpted from The Path of Purification (Visuddhimagga) by Buddhaghosa (fifth-century)

One who begins the development of unselfish joy should not start with dearly beloved person, a neutral person or hostile person. For it is not the mere fact that a person is dearly beloved, which makes him an immediate cause of developing unselfish joy, and still less so neutral or hostile person. Persons of the opposite sex and those who are dead are not suitable subjects for this meditation.

A very close friend, however, can be a suitable subject. One who is called in the commentaries an affectionate companion; for he is always in a joyous mood: he laughs first and speaks afterwards. He should be the first to be pervaded with unselfish joy. Or on seeing or hearing about a dear person being happy, cheerful, and joyous, unselfish joy can be aroused thus: "This being, verily, is happy! How good, how excellent!" For this is what is referred to in the Vibhanga: "And how does a bhikkhu dwell pervading one direction with his heart imbued with unselfish joy? Just as he would be joyful on seeing a dear and beloved person, so he pervades all being with unselfish joy" (Vibhanga 274).

But if his affectionate friend or the dear person was happy in the past but is now unlucky and unfortunate, then unselfish joy can still be aroused by remembering his past happiness; or by anticipating that he will be happy and successful again in the future.

Having thus aroused unselfish joy with respect to a dear person, the meditator can then direct it towards a neutral one, and after that towards a hostile one…

And from Nyanaponika Thera: http://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/authors/various/wheel170.html

It has been rightly stated that it is relatively easier for man to feel compassion or friendliness in situations which demand them, than to cherish a spontaneous feeling of shared joy, outside a narrow circle of one's family and friends. It mostly requires a deliberate effort to identify oneself with the joys and successes of others. Yet the capacity of doing so has psychological roots in man's nature which may be even deeper that his compassionate responses. There is firstly the fact that people do like to feel happy (with — or without — good reason) and would prefer it to the shared sadness of compassion. Man's gregarious nature (his "sociability") already gives him some familiarity with shared emotions and shared pleasure, though mostly on a much lower level than that of our present concern. There is also in man (and in some animals) not only an aggressive impulse, but also a natural bent towards mutual aid and co-operative action. Furthermore, there is the fact that happiness is infectious and an unselfish joy can easily grow out of it. Children readily respond by their own smiles and happy mood to smiling faces and happiness around them. Though children can be quite jealous and envious at times, they also can visibly enjoy it when they have made a playmate happy by a little gift and they are then quite pleased with themselves…

Admittedly, the negative impulses in man, like aggression, envy, jealousy, etc., are much more in evidence than his positive tendencies towards communal service, mutual aid, unselfish joy, generous appreciation of the good qualities of his fellow-men, etc. Yet, as all these positive features are definitely found in man (though rarely developed), it is quite realistic to appeal to them, and activate and develop that potential by whatever means we can, in our personal relationships, in education, etc. "If it were impossible to cultivate the Good, I would not tell you to do so," said the Buddha. This is, indeed, a positive, optimistic assurance.

If this potential for unselfish joy is widely and methodically encouraged and developed, starting with the Buddhist child (or, for that matter, with any child) and continued with adults (individuals and Buddhist groups, including the Sangha), the seed of mudita can grow into a strong plant which will blossom forth and find fruition in many other virtues, as a kind of beneficial "chain reaction": magnanimity, tolerance, generosity (of both heart and purse), friendliness, and compassion. When unselfish joy grows, many noxious weeds in the human heart will die a natural death (or will, at least, shrink): jealousy and envy, ill will in various degrees and manifestations, cold-heartedness, miserliness (also in one's concern for others), and so forth. Unselfish joy can, indeed, act as a powerful agent in releasing dormant forces of the Good in the human heart.

We know very well how envy and jealousy (the chief opponents of unselfish joy) can poison a man's character as well as the social relationships on many levels of his life. They can paralyze the productivity of society, on governmental, professional, industrial, and commercial levels. Should not, therefore, all effort be made to cultivate their antidote, that is mudita?

Mudita will also vitalize and ennoble charitable and social work. While compassion (karuna [karu.naa]) is, or should be, the inspiration for it, unselfish joy should be its boon companion. Mudita will prevent compassionate action from being marred by a condescending and patronizing attitude which often repels or hurts the recipient. Also, when active compassion and unselfish joy go together, it will be less likely that works of service turn into dead routine performed indifferently. Indifference, listlessness, boredom (all nuances of the Pali term arati) are said to be the 'distant enemies' of mudita. They can be vanquished by an alliance of compassion and unselfish joy.

Aug. 16: Responsibility: As you have noticed in your work with respect, one cannot be responsible without some degree of self-esteem; to say, “I cannot do this,” with humility and to say those words with fear are very different things. Imagine yourself on a mountaintop with friends, a walk with which you are familiar. Suddenly a storm blows in and obscures all the paths. Bitter wind comes and snow begins to fall. No one is dressed to survive the night on the mountain top; no one in the group but you has ever descended from this mountain. You cannot see the trail. What voice says “I can lead,” or “I cannot lead”?

If fear speaks, to lead or not lead, and harm comes, you are responsible. Is it ego that would lead? If love and the deepest place of awareness come forth to lead, or not lead, whether you all live or die, you will have done your best.

Notice the word “response” in responsibility, the ability to respond, here meaning with care, wisdom and lovingkindness. What is needed for such clear response? First, when response comes from the ego it is tarnished; we are thus led to more fully witness and release the ego centeredness. Second is “ability” and involves a trust of the non-ego centered self that derives from mature humility and respect.

August 23: this week please reflect on the 4 qualities with which you have worked and be prepared for discussion of what you are learning. We will break into small groups to talk. I have asked Barbara to share some insights as she has practiced with these traits.

Barbara: journal: A man called the Deep Spring office from out of state several days ago and asked me to call him. He said that it was an emergency; he was critically ill, he had talked with me and Aaron before and he had some urgent questions. He now had no email. Please call his long distance number. I remembered that this man had emailed me last August, just at the time my children were visiting from out of state before they left the country for a year. He had gotten my name and contact information from a friend. When he first emailed last summer I emailed him back, said I was on vacation with family until September, and would be happy to meet with him then. He replied by email that he was dying, and would not be here in September; he wanted to speak with Aaron about his transition. When I heard his circumstances I offered to meet with him by phone the next afternoon. He replied that he would probably need to go to the hospital by the afternoon. I had chosen afternoon for the meeting because my grandson would be napping. In the morning I wanted to be with the family. But I put that preference aside, hearing that this man was dying. Payment is never the primary concern for me, but I add the note that this man said he was happy to make a donation.

Aaron spoke to him for almost 2 hours. I don’t know what was said. Aaron said he did not feel the man was able to hear him, only wanted to complain and voice his fears. I never heard from him again and assumed he had died. No donation came and that was not a concern. I hoped our meeting was some help to his transition.

Now he was calling again, almost a year later. The office manager told him I was away on retreat; the man said he was in critical condition and needed to talk to Aaron. I see how the questions raised by this situation are perfect to the discussion of humility, respect and self respect and responsibility, and that there is an area here that I need more fully to understand. Humility: there is need to find that balance, not self-effacing and ready to jump at another’s wish and not arrogant and disrespectful of others’ needs, but respectful of both the other and myself. I felt I had done that last summer.

Looking back though, I see that I was quick to jump in when there was a call for help, but then I judged the call; it did not seem genuine and resentment arose. I was not forced to respond last summer, but having done so, and now finding he was not critically ill last summer, I felt manipulated. While it would not have been an issue that he did not offer dana, the fact that he had not died and not sent any dana though he had stated that intention, and not even covered the cost of the two hour long distance phone call, also brought anger and led me to feel manipulated. Yet no one can manipulate us without our agreement at some level. Reflection has led me to better understand the balance of humility and pride. As long as I’m acting from a self, there is an expectation of some return and anger if that return doesn’t happen. True humility is free of self.

I noted the anger and thought about what to do. With the anger came separation. Instead of being able to stay open to his present need and hear him, I was closing myself off. That was not responsible. But what about responsibility to myself and to my present retreat? The answers are not always immediately apparent. It became clear that I needed to make my choice from a place of love that was responsible and considerate to us both. It is not compassionate to allow another to manipulate you. It is not compassionate to shut another out, even if they have manipulated you in the past. It took several days of doing metta for myself and for this man before I felt ready to call him with an open heart. My intention in the call, to tell him that I would be happy to talk with him next month but under no circumstances could I speak with him now, beyond this brief phone call.

He was not at home and the message was left on the answering machine. I feel at peace with the choice.

Aaron: The following qualities are put briefly in place. There will be further material sent in the coming weeks.