Wednesday, November 17, 1993

Aaron's talk

I am Aaron. Good evening and my love to my all. Barbara's voice is a bit hoarse tonight. If some of you further back cannot hear, please make it known and someone will tap Barbara to ask her to speak louder. I am suggesting to her that she keep it quiet and not strain her voice as she has a retreat and will be teaching all weekend.

I want to start here with a meditation to help guide you into an experience, and then we'll talk about what it's about.

If you will forgive me for backtracking, I'm going to spend just a minute or two explaining the term, karma. Most of you are familiar with this word. The word karma literally means 'action.' Every act, every word, every thought, plants a seed. If somebody addresses you and you respond lovingly, you plant a seed for kindness. If you are addressed in the same way and snap back with an angry retort, you plant a seed for anger, for pain, separation.

Each seed you plant will bear fruit in this lifetime or in future lifetimes. You do not need to believe in reincarnation to understand karma. You can see it unfolding in every moment. The most essential rule of karma is that you are responsible for your choices.

I have been speaking of the light body. Last week we got quite technical. I'm not going to repeat any of that. All you need to know is that there is that aspect of you that is the perfect, let's call it template for this physical, emotional and mental body. I will ask for that same piece of paper we've been using week after week. Or a new sheet from the pad.

An unwrinkled sheet of paper, smooth. This happens to be lined paper, but let's visualize it as pure white, perfect. (Crumples paper.) We're covering this house with crumpled paper! Can you see the perfect sheet of paper still exists within the wrinkled sheet? Your physical, emotional and mental manifestations of the light body appear crumpled. Sometimes-in ways that I will not go into again, we have talked about it before and it is in the transcripts-those wrinkles, let's call them the wrinkles of karma, seem to reflect back and attach to the light body itself. So we have the ultimate reality that the light body is perfect and relative reality that it also appears to have wrinkles.

We have been looking at the ways those wrinkles affect your body's energy, leading to illness sometimes, leading to heavy emotions and the desire to discharge those emotions, which catch you in a vicious circle. The wrinkle irons itself in, so to speak, as you practice it.

I want to come back now to a meditation that we've done before because this is what I want you to be practicing-not ironing the wrinkles in, but smoothing them out. So we will do variations on this meditation frequently in the coming months, hoping to give you a very real tool that you can work with in your life when you feel your energy, physically or emotionally, contracting.

Bring your attention to the breath, simply noting its coming and going … I call you 'angels in earthsuits.' Most of you are very much in these earthsuits and you have lost touch with your angelness. The contractions of your energy pull you back into the human illusion.

When I say illusion, it is an illusion in which you must live. You can't deny the illusion, but you also need to know that it is not fearful reality.

Breathing in … breathing out … I want you to bring to mind some moment of anger, embarrassment, jealousy or want, resentment … something that has happened today if possible … See if you can remember that feeling clearly enough to actually feel the way your energy contracted … in a sense, to re-experience that feeling; not just remembering, but allowing yourself to re-enter the experience …

Can you feel the tightness? … We've sometimes used the metaphor of your energy as a river flowing … and this blockage as a log-jam in the river … Within that metaphor, we have spoken of the ways to work skillfully with the logs. Now I want to come back to the current itself. What do you do when you feel that contractedness? And you do feel it over and over throughout the day. Most of you are not aware of how often such contractions arise and are not fully in touch with how it feels to be connected, open and uncontracted.

Feeling this contraction in you now … I want you to move your attention to some historical, mythological, past or present being who very much represents truth for you. It may be a being like Jesus or Mary, the Buddha, Mohammed, Moses, Gandhi, Mother Theresa … some guru or teacher. It may simply be God. It is important that you see this being as very pure. There does not have to be a deep connection or love. It may be a teacher who is not of your own religion, but someone whom you do identify as being very pure, truly that angel. That's fine.

This next step must not be offered to get rid of the discomfort of the contraction, but is a compassionate opening to the pain of that contraction and a willingness to release it. There is a very big and vital difference.

Seeing the pain of that contraction within you … hold yourself tenderly as if you were your own child … Reach your energy out to that teacher or master of your choosing … and ask for this being's help …

Turning toward that being … use whatever senses are available to you to feel, see, sense it's presence and the power and clarity of its energy …

Breathe in that energy … Breathe it out … breathing yourself out into that other …

Breathe in … and out …

Allow any sense of separation to dissolve …

You may be able to visualize or even imagine or feel a brilliant light emanating from that being. Some of you are asking, must it be a being, an individual? Not at all. Use God in whatever form you understand God to be … whatever works for you here. Use brilliant Light, or the cosmic OM.

Like the brilliant sun … coming out from behind storm clouds … so that the rays may be seen moving toward the Earth … you stand just in the shadow and see that brilliance … and make the decision to step into it …

A light with brilliance beyond any that you can conceive of … feel it touching the crown of your head and moving into you … through the third eye and the throat to the heart center …

You may wish to open your hands palm up in your lap … feel the same light … breathing it in … boundaries dissolving …

Know that this is not only the divine perfection of God and of those great masters, but that you also contain divinity within you. It is the wrinkled paper in which the perfect paper lies.

Breathe in that light … Stand in it … Hold it within you …

Bring your attention now to that contracted energy … I want you to see that this is the log jam in the river and not the river itself. The river's energy has always flowed smoothly …

Each of you has used your resentments, your jealousies, your sense of unworthiness as ways to protect yourself. It has become a habit. When you feel attacked in some way, it's natural to draw yourself around and close up. What I am asking you to do here goes against that instinct of self-protection. It is the only way to come to know the unlimitedness of the self and to begin to break away from that habit which has cemented the illusion of separation.

We are practicing this slowly tonight. Obviously, when there is an external catalyst, you cannot sit down and meditate and invite God or Jesus or the Buddha in. But, if you practice it enough in meditation, when there is that external catalyst and you, with mindfulness, feel the contraction of your energy, you can make the decision, 'Not this time. I do not need to stay contracted.' There's no judgment here, no getting rid of it, no 'This is bad' and 'That is good,' only a skillful sense, 'I do not need this. It's an illusion. I am safe.' And then you reopen your heart because you have practiced. It becomes almost instantaneous that when you feel contracted you move your energy into that being's, ask for its help and feel that contractedness release.

It's a process. When you first learned a skill such as swimming, you needed to think, 'First I move my arms just so and I kick my feet and which way do I breathe, with which stroke. … ' As you became proficient swimmers-or skiers or tennis players-you stopped thinking about the process and it simply flowed. I want you to work with this process until it begins to flow in just that way. The best place I know to practice it is during your formal meditation time until you become established in the movement of it. And then, of course, you must carry it out into your life.

It doesn't have to be a big deal, simply you're driving your car and somebody cuts you off and you feel anger arise and contraction. Whose anger? Where did it come from? What is it about? Almost an instantaneous thought: 'Old mind. It is just this being that I think I am, wanting to be safe, feeling angry at somebody moving into my space. Old habit.'

Seeing that-and we've been working with this for a long time and many of you have learned to see that-the body is still reverberating from that anger and it's sending the pattern of wrinkles out. This is the next step: 'Do I need to hold onto that anger or can I release it?' This is not a judgment of anger. You've all heard me say so many times, anger is not bad, it's just energy. It is your relationship with your anger that creates your difficulties. So we are not judging nor getting rid of the anger, but coming to the skillful understanding: There was never anything that needed protection in this moment. It is just old habit.

And then, ask for help, moving into the energy field of that energy; you will find as you practice with it that it really only takes a moment because you become so used to resting in that energy field with the boundaries dissolved that just the thought of that being or of memory of the Divine brings you back to your own divinity and you can become the smooth sheet of paper. The anger has not been gotten rid of, it's just been let go. The contractedness lets go, the heart reopens. There's joy again and connection. You do it a hundred times a day.

Slowly you find that the contractedness doesn't happen as fast, that you stay more open. This does not mean that you don't wisely move yourself out of harm's way, but that there's no sense of needing to defend and the anger that arises with that need, only the skillful stepping out of the way of oncoming traffic, the skillful decision not to walk down the alley.

I'm going to be quiet for a few minutes. What I want you to do is move back into that energy field. Remember again the contractedness of jealousy or anger or fear that arose today and, literally, try this process without my constant words here. I will be quiet for two or three minutes.

(Long pause while we re-enter the process described above.)

I am Aaron. Even if you cannot feel this, I hope that you will continue to work with it. Trust the process. It takes time for the heart to open. It takes time for you to understand some of your resistance to opening. We often choose to rest in the prison we have come to know rather than to choose freedom. Be gentle to yourselves. No force. But practice over and over with it, patiently, and see if you begin to notice the stirrings of the heart opening and the contraction of energy dissolving.

We spoke several weeks ago about karma and grace. One of the questions that was offered to me before this talk asked me to speak more about this in relation to the talk if it were possible and it seems to fit here. I do not wish to repeat anything that was said several weeks ago, but to take it a step further forward.

Nothing can happen within you without grace. This does not mean that you do not have free will. Grace is not something that is dispensed-a bit here, a bit there-with no reason to it. Nor is grace earned. It's not that if you do a thousand prostrations or a thousand recitations of a prayer, you're going to win an award of this much grace. Rather, you invite yourself to move into the grace that is always offered when you aspire to become more responsible, more loving and harmless in your relationship to all that is.

Grace is not something you attain. In a sense, it is the ability to see the light and the decision, the courage, to move into that light-for it does take courage.

Your karma has accumulated through many lifetimes. You are responsible for the choices that you have made, in this or past lives. It is your understanding that you are responsible and the maturity to say, 'Yes, I am responsible and I will grow in such ways that I do not repeat these unskillful patterns,' that invites the grace of whatever teachings, guidance, light you require to help you on your way.

Grace is not the gift of the select few, but it is available through the loving heart of Jesus, the deep compassion of the Buddha, through whatever channel you seek and find it. It is the light that will lead you home. But you must have the courage to step into it.

I will be glad to answer any further questions about any of this. I thank you for your attention and the loving energy you are giving to this work. That is all.

Questions and Answers

Q: (Left over from last week.) Aaron has said that we are sparks of God, that at one point we looked back at that infinite energy and thought that we were separate. But, if we came from that infinite energy, we must have known we were not separate. Why did we accept the illusion of separation and all the fear and pain that follows? I have suspected that the reason is that to do so is to grow and expand, and that the very nature of the infinite energy is to grow and expand. Is that how Aaron sees it?

Aaron: I am Aaron. I'm going to begin this answer with a question, requesting some feedback from all of you. Have some of you had the experience of being so totally engrossed in something that you really forgot where you were, what you were doing? You may have been watching a sunset or listening to a symphony. Those are examples we sometimes used. But you might have been working in your home or shop building something, or painting, writing a poem. You might have been watching a movie. You might have been making love.

In some way there was a time when that experience of total connection with what you were doing seemed to end and there was suddenly a new sense of self-awareness, as if you had just emerged into separation. I'd like to hear about that from you, especially for you to share it with each other so that you may each start to see where that lies in your experience. That is all.

(Group sharing: not all transcribed.)

C: When I am driving in a car-especially if I am listening to a story, but sometimes even if I'm just driving-I sometimes have the experience of not realizing where I am and it is a kind of trance state. Another kind of mind state is when I'm doing polarity work and I am working out of a particular place in my head. It's not exactly losing track of time, but it's moving into …

Barbara: Aaron is saying it's not time, but self.

C: It's more a sense of moving myself away and continuing to function. I do therapy with clients who have been abused as children and they are wonderful at completely disassociating. They leave their bodies and separate from the pain. It was a very useful tool during the abuse, but is not always useful in their adult lives. I am confused about those different mental states.

Aaron: I am Aaron. I want to be brief here as I want each of you who wishes so to have a chance to share. We are talking about several different kinds of states. One is a state of connection that you move into that is quite the reverse of fear-founded. It's maybe a trance state or it may come in through working with another's energy and putting your own energy consciously aside. But there is a sense of letting go of boundaries, fully coming into connection. In the deep trance state, there may be no awareness of that connection until you come out of the state. With your polarity therapy, you have more sense of a consciousness directing it.

This is very different from the leaving of the body of those beings who have been abused. There is no disassociation in what I am speaking of. In that leaving of the body, there is very conscious decision to escape, but one is still very much in one's own awareness, simply that awareness has left the body and gone elsewhere. One is not feeling connected in that state, but very alone. Do you understand? Do you have questions?

C: (First part of question is not on tape.) … mind state of driving a car and not …

Aaron: I am Aaron. I do not usually offer specific suggestions to people, C, but I would like you to look at why allow yourself to move into that kind of a trance state while driving and whether that is the ideal state to be in in that situation. Why not get where you are going safely and then relax into the trance state? We will talk further about that. It is a personal concern. That is all.

C: I accept Aaron's suggestion as very valid. I believe it's a very common experience with people who drive long distances who find that happening.

Barbara: No sense of how you got from here to there?

C: Right.

Barbara: Do other people experience that? (Many raise their hands.)

Aaron: I am Aaron. I do value all of my friends here so I am going to urge you all to deeper mindfulness while you drive. I do want to go back to the original question though. What we are talking about is that state where boundaries dissolve while you are involved in some activity. It's not really a trance state. It's a bit different than C's example of driving the car. That approaches the disassociation of her clients. It's more a state of such deep involvement … it's not moving away from what you're doing, but entering into it so fully that there ceases to be any separation between the doer and that which is done. Again, I invite your response. That is all.

M: If someone talks to me while I am painting, thinking in very right-brain mode, thinking about shapes of color-I'm not using words at all and I am very involved-it's very painful to try to answer. It's even painful to be spoken to. How come?

C2: Sometimes when I'm writing poetry I get quite lost in the process and I think the poem and I become one.

Barbara: I would guess those are your best poems, too?

C2: Yes, they're probably channeled! Why is it that through karma we are responsible for all the unskillful things we do, but when we create something beautiful, it's 'channeled' and we can't take credit for it!

Barbara: It can be channeled from your higher self as well as from external energy, but also you need to take credit because you were able to get yourself out of the way well enough to allow it to flow through without distorting it, and that's not an easy thing to do.

M: Doesn't our lower self create anything?

Aaron: I am Aaron. Karma. (Much laughter.) Actually, that is not all and I'm being facetious. Your lower self, if we can speak of it in those terms, creates the situations which are absolutely essential for your learning. It is constantly giving you that gift of putting you into the situation you most need to be in in order to meet that which you most need to learn. That is all.

Barbara: I am paraphrasing Aaron. He wants to know if you all have a sense of this experience that he's talking about. He says there's nobody in the room who has not at some time, even if briefly, experienced that sense of, both the total involvement in what you're doing and then the sudden awareness of the presence of a self again. And it's less the space of connection that he's talking to in this framework as moving back into awareness of a self, that moment of dawning, 'Hey, I'm me.' Do you know what he's talking about, that experience? (Yes.) Okay.

Aaron: I am Aaron. We can use this experience as a way of understanding what it was like when you first had self-awareness. You have been writing your poetry or painting or working in the garden or driving your car-no, let us not use driving a car as an example, that is a bit different-working with polarity therapy, doing something where the boundaries of self have completely dissolved. You are resting in pure awareness. Then you put down the pencil or paintbrush, walk out of the movie theater, the client leaves and you get up and suddenly the whole illusion of self comes back.

In that first moment of seeing from a reference point of self again, there is no clarity, 'Oh, this is an illusion.' It's just a shift in perspective, but the shift is such that you fall into it. It becomes totally convincing. You know that you were in a space of emptiness of self for some time, a space with no boundaries, but that becomes the altered state and this reference point of self becomes the basic state.

Each of you experienced that at some level in this first, let's say spark of God breaking off. There really was no breaking off, any more than there is a solidifying of boundaries when you put down the pencil or paintbrush. You were connected, you always are connected, but that perception is so profound that it becomes the hole you fall into and you can't see anything out beyond the edges of that hole. There never was a self. It's all illusion. There never was separation. But how are you going to learn if you don't experience it?

The questioner here said that it was the Infinite's way of seeking to expand itself. Precisely. That which we call God, that perfect light and love, is constantly seeking to expand itself. Infinite intelligence is seeking to expand itself. Infinite love. You are the points that reach out and extend from that infinite energy constantly expanding it, not simply to expand-this isn't a matter of greed-but the more that your intelligence, wisdom, love, compassion expand, the more light you bring into the universe, the more you light up the dark corners of the universe. Yes, that which we call God is infinite; and yet, darkness is also seemingly infinite.

I say seemingly because in ultimate reality there really never has been darkness. This gets complex. There has not been darkness but, as long as there is the illusion of darkness, it is very dark indeed. If you become very fearful and angry and your energy very contracted to the point that you are almost paranoid, feeling that others plan to hurt you, you are living in much darkness. There may be no truth to any of that, but from the perspective of the one experiencing it, it's very dark.

There are many beings who are deep enough into negative polarity that the universe seems very dark to them. It takes a tremendous force of light to offer the beacon that they need to light their road so that they may return out of their self-imposed darkness and into the light. Your courageous willingness to expand your own energy, to purify it-yes, I know it's already perfectly pure, but it is just a matter of bringing in light where the illusory darkness lives-your willingness to do that provides that beacon for others. It does bring light where there has seemed to be darkness.

We put ultimate reality aside here. There's no darkness, there has never been darkness; but, in relative terms, there is suffering and it must be attended to. You can choose to stay in that ultimate reality forever, but at some level you understand that that is turning your back on suffering. As long as there is refusal to get your feet dirty in relative reality, there is an escapism and a move to negativity. In other words, that which has chosen not to leave the Source for reason of protecting itself from the illusory pain of relative reality is already choosing self-awareness and negative polarity at one level. It's not really still resting within God, but is simply an ostrich with its head in the sand.

The first moment of self-awareness is not useful to speak of. It really doesn't matter. It cannot be explained in your terms. I'm sorry. But it's very much a 'Which came first, the chicken or the egg?' question about which we could get into endless meaningless philosophical debate. Simply accept that you have taken that step and that it was like the waking from the symphony or a sunset or a poem or painting or gardening or therapy, where suddenly there seems to be a duality. That's the perspective that you're suddenly looking through.

And then you are given the most wonderful catalyst: What do I do with this illusion of duality and the fear it brings me? Through skillfully finding equanimity with that fear and coming back to rest in ultimate reality, no longer as escape, but as the greatest gift you can give to the world's suffering, you have brought light and expanded that infinite awareness. Does that sufficiently answer the question or would you like me to speak further on it? That is all.

Q: Did we all begin self-awareness at the same time or is there some sort of constant turn-over, so to speak, of us being separated from the light by illusion? Will there be a time when we are all part of the light again as one?

Aaron: I am Aaron. I can best use the example of an ocean filled with many billions of molecules of water. The metaphor is distorted because the ocean is finite. Let us consider this to be an infinite ocean. There are forces on that water. The sun shines down on it and evaporates it. The wind blows it. The water that has evaporated doesn't disappear, it simply changes its form, becomes a cloud. The wind blows it over the land and it finally comes down as rain again, back into water. A human may drink it and it may pass through the human body. A tree may drink it. It may move into the experience of being a part of the sap of the tree. When the tree falls, eventually that water will return to earth again. It flows into the streams and rivers and back to the sea. It never ceases being water, it only changes its form.

You never cease being part of that perfect light, but you change your form. You do not do this all at once. There is a constant turnover of new souls emerging from that infinite sea. There is a constant turnover of old souls that have moved through all the densities, not only the human form, but beyond and returned to the light, now as mature suns in their own right, each brilliant and radiating its own light.

This sea which we are calling God is infinite. I do not imagine it will ever 'dry up' in terms of new sparks of it ceasing to emerge to begin the move to maturity. Since there will constantly be new sparks emerging, I do not imagine there will ever come a time when it all rests again in perfect light. But the way you are learning is changing.

We get here into a question of the densities, that you are now third density human. That which is returning to God is seventh and eighth density. But the experiences of the densities is changing and Earth is becoming a fourth density planet where there will be the availability of more light and higher experiences while still allowing you to be incarnate.

There will always be new energy. What I visualize happening, and please understand this is merely my own humble opinion, is that as more of you learn to love, as more of you learn to work skillfully with the impulses that lead to sense of separation and duality and lead you into harm of others, the younger energy will be more wisely guided, will not need to move into some of the more painful situation in order to learn. I think we will find a time in the distant future when there is far more light everywhere in the universe, less suffering, far less negative polarity, and less distinction between the experiences of the different densities.

Some of you wring your hands and feel distraught over the pollution, the violence in the streets, the natural disasters, and the immense suffering on your Earth. I am not denying the reality of any of that, but in the time frame of the entire many hour movie, your life is one frame of that film. When you look at history, you look back a few thousand of the billion frames, or even just a few hundred. You don't really have any concept of the entirety of it.

I do not think I am living in a fantasy or being a blind optimist; simply, from my perspective, you are learning. That doesn't mean that you should go and pat yourselves on the back and say, 'Gee, aren't we wonderful!' You have a lot yet to learn, but I don't think it's as hopeless as many of you seem to feel it is. You are all learning.

There will be a time when everything has moved back into the light, but not in the way that the questioner intended it. It does not mean there will be no more new souls emerging, but the universe into which they emerge will be one of far more light and perhaps even of no negativity. Will you still be able to learn? Yes. I have repeatedly said that you do not need the catalyst of pain in order to learn. My conjecture is that the wisdom by that time will have led you to guide that new energy into paying attention as needs to be paid so that it may learn without pain. Perhaps some of you will come back to visit and see how it is in those days. That is all.

Q: Do you have the name Aaron for our benefit? Do beings on your plane have names? Can you tell me my spirit guides' names?

Aaron: I am Aaron. I have the name Aaron and appear to Barbara in the very human form I do because it has been my experience that humans find it hard to relate to a talking and impersonal light which is what I really am. So I put on a cloak of personality, a cloak of perceived form, and add the name to it so that you don't have to say, 'Hey, you!' It is more convenient that way. I would know who you were talking to if you said, 'Hey, you!' but I'm not sure you would.

No, I cannot tell any of you your guides' names, partly because they are also that light and if they choose to give themselves names in relationship to you, please understand that is not their Name with capital 'N,' it is simply the name they choose to use. Do they have a name beyond that? Do I have a name beyond that? Yes and no. You will discover if you come to meet that which we call the higher self, that that aspect of you has a name. But that is still simply a label tacked on to avoid the inconvenience of 'Hey, you!'

Just as I have no self in the deepest meaning of that word, I also have no name. What need does emptiness have for a name? But I do exist, not as personal self that needs a name, but simply as the swirling light which I am, as that extension of the infinite which I am.

As for the name your guide chooses to go by, when you meet your guide and make that connection, ask them, 'What is your name? What may I call you?' If you have been able to see or hear your guide or feel its energy, I have no doubt that you will be able to discern its name … or more correctly, the label that it is choosing to use in this encounter. That is all.

Q: Could you speak of simultaneous lives and how they affect this one? Also, linear/non-linear time in lives?

Barbara: Aaron is saying, great question, but we'll save it for another night when we have more time.

Q: Say as specific as you can: What can you tell me about myself specifically? Who are my guides specifically? Do I know them? What good things are in my future? Specifics. What is my purpose? Who chose my purpose and why? What past lives have I lived? What was my religious experience about? Who was it from?

Aaron: I am Aaron. We cannot do this one justice in five minutes either, but we'll make an attempt at it. First of all, you are new here tonight. I beg your pardon my friend, but I cannot, I will not, be specific. We do speak about past lives in private work with people and even occasionally in a group like this where there is specific need to know about that past life. You have all had so many past lives, to simply pull one out would be meaningless. To pull out in front of a group the one that is most directly related to your current issues would very likely feel rather awkward and uncomfortable for you because you will find that the past lives that connect most to your current issues are often very painful ones, places where you were stuck in that life and are still stuck and struggling to understand.

I would like to suggest that those of you who want to see your past lives begin to meditate, and through this process become increasingly able both to hear your own guides and their guidance, to see those lives that you need to see. And, yes, you really can see them. No, you are not imagining it. Your imagination could never be that vivid nor that specifically pointed to just what you need to learn.

Who are your guides? For all of you, they are beloved friends from past lifetimes and, on occasion, beings who were part of this lifetime. You each have a primary guide and a number of other guides. The primary guide is one who agreed to be your guide before your incarnation and who will not move into incarnation itself while you are still in body. Secondary guides may be those with whom there was a deep connection in this lifetime and who have died, have left their body. They are available to you until that time when they take incarnation again. If there is a deep tie and they see a need, they will wait for incarnation. If they see that you have connection with and guidance from other loving beings, they will feel free to move on their own path.

For the one who has asked this question, there was an elderly female relative who is presently one of your guides and is a very loving energy to you. It was not a connection which you as a child felt as a primary connection, but this being felt that deep love for you and continues it. You may find it useful to reach out to that being as part of the pathway to meeting your other guides and opening to the spirit guidance that's available to you.

This goes for all of you. No, not that all of you have elderly, now deceased, female relatives who are your guides. But if you look back on your life and think about some being who has left this plane with whom you felt a strong connection or from whom you felt deep love for yourself, you can ask. Meditate and open yourself, remembering that being's energy: 'Are you still available to me?' The doors are always open from our side, but we cannot shout at you through your closed doors. You must open the door by asking, 'Who is my guide? Is it you? Or is it you? Can I feel your energy?' And then don't tell yourself, 'Oh, I'm only imagining it.' Trust what you experience. Yes, you may be imagining it, but your imagination itself can serve as a pathway to opening the doors to the real guidance. Maybe it was not Aunt Sally but, because you trust Aunt Sally and rest in that imagined energy, it allows you to open the door to the real guidance that's offered. So trust.

Finally, what is your purpose? I cannot do justice to this question now. Our time is up. I must answer in a very general way which I'm sure will be unsatisfactory to the questioner. Your purpose, all of you …

(Tape ends, but Aaron said we are all here to learn compassion, to live our lives with more wisdom and love, to find equanimity with what arises in us and to learn non-judgment. He spoke briefly about looking at what seems challenging to us in our present lives as a key to knowing our purpose: where do we find ourselves getting stuck? These are the primary issues we have incarnated to learn.)