September 29, 2013 Sunday Morning, Trainings Workshop Three

About 2/3 the group is here for this optional morning time. We are preparing to meditate together.

Barbara: We're talking about the meditation practice. I asked the people lying in the canoe yesterday to do a little bit different practice; to ask their guides and power animals for help. I suggested, for example if they feel a knot in the belly that's been there all their life, to ask spirit, how do I help to further release this? If suggestions come, follow the suggestions. If no suggestions come, watch for, “Why aren't they talking to me?” Just note that as grasping. “Ah, feeling fear. Feeling abandoned by spirit—ah, that's old too. How can I help to release that old myth that I'm unloved and that loving beings will abandon me, or not support me? Here's an old myth.” But still if nothing comes, just watch that tension. Where is that tension in the body?

However, if some specific advice comes, here's where we deviate from the vipassana practice. Instead of just noting hearing, hearing spirit saying, “Do this,” - do it! So, normally in the vipassana practice, for example if I'm practicing with Aaron, or whatever I'm practicing, and I suddenly hear spirit saying, “Breath in yellow light,” I say, “Not now. Right now I'm doing my vipassana practice. I'll come to this in half an hour.” But for this morning, if spirit gives you any guidance, work with spirit.

Q: If we were not in the center yesterday, could we do this also anyway? And could we lie down doing it?

Barbara: You can just sit where you are. You can lie down. You can do whatever you wish. Anybody may do this, but I especially want the people who were in the canoe yesterday to take it further by doing it. So really give a sincere query, “How do I take this further? Whatever I learned yesterday, whatever small insights or big insights were gained, whatever I felt releasing or felt coming back to me, I ask for help to support the full integration of it or the release of it.” Anybody may do this, but it's very important for the people who were in the canoe to do it. But during your vipassana practice, ask spirit to hold back on conversation until you are done. For this morning, it is fine to ask for this help and be open to it.

Okay, any questions? No. Okay.

(tape paused)

Keep the eyes soft. Don't fixate on anything. Don't try to see, “What is that particular spot? Is that a red flower or is that a leaf? Is that a squirrel or a dry leaf?” Watch yourself closing in like that. Gaze soft and unfocused. As much as possible not differentiating trees, sky, tree trunk. Just, ahhh...

Use your arms for a few breaths following that ahhh... Opening the arms. Send your breath way out there. There's a short poem from Alan Ginsberg that I love.

Follow your breath right out of your nose.

Follow it out as far as it goes.

You can't think straight and you don't know who to call.

It's never too late to do nothing at all.

So we're just doing this “nothing at all.” Just present. When you breathe in, you're not just breathing in the air of this room, you're breathing in the whole universe. You're breathing yourself out into the whole universe, until you and the universe are completely one, no separation. No tension. But if tension arises, simply note it as tension. Nothing to do, nothing to fix.

Ahhh... How long has it been since you've rested in that complete, spacious ahhh? Nothing to fix or do. If thoughts arise, just note thinking and come back to the spaciousness. Let the thought blow out with the breath, just out beyond the sky. Let it go. If strong physical sensation pulls at your attention, simply note pulsating, burning, tingling. If it's unpleasant, know it as unpleasant and see if you can just hold it in spaciousness.

Picture yourself holding a little infant, a newborn infant. Something scratched it or alarmed it. It's crying, it's tense. Feel how you would just hold that baby to you, rocking it. Hold spaciousness around it. You know that the baby's not seriously hurt. Just conveying that sense of space and ease and love to it. So, if something strong arises in emotions or body sensation, do that with yourself and then let it go, back into the spaciousness.

This is the practice, just this. Eyes open, present. For those of you who are familiar with the experience of nada, sometimes nada will become strong. This cosmic OM, like cicadas chirping. Nothing to do. It's just further evidence, “Yes, I'm resting in awareness here.” Because the level of consciousness that's capable of perceiving nada opens as you rest deeper and deeper into awareness. It's supramundane consciousness rather than mundane consciousness.

Similarly if strong light seems to fill everything, you're looking out that the trees, they're normal trees and suddenly there's light everywhere, just note luminosity. “Ah, I'm resting deeper in awareness that can see the innate luminosity in everything. Awareness can hear that cosmic OM.” Feel strong energy moving everywhere. Again, that level of awareness, supramundane awareness, is able to pick up these supramundane objects. Nothing to do with them. Enjoy them.

If they disappear, you can ask, where did pure awareness go? You might notice, “Oh, there's a strong tension in my belly, and I'm bringing attention to that so I've lost the spacious awareness.” Come back to it, and then there's luminosity or nada or energy again. Just rest there.

You can do that pure awareness practice for as long as you'd like this morning. If at a certain point you feel moved to close your eyes-- don't close your eyes in the pure awareness practice. Keep your eyes open in pure awareness. But if you feel moved to close your eyes, move to vipassana, noting, “closing eyes, closing eyes.” Bring attention to whatever you use as a primary object, often the breath, but maybe nada, if it's strong. If luminosity became strong during the pure awareness part of the practice, use luminosity as the primary object. Energy, space. Just moving into a normal vipassana practice.

Settle into the vipassana practice for a few minutes and then, if it's appropriate to you, consciously shift attention to something that you felt coming into you yesterday, some lost part that you feel accessible to you now, or something you felt sticking to you and slowly being released, and ask spirit, can you support the further integration of this, or the release of that? And then just listen. If nothing comes, don't try to go after it. Just say, “Okay, I'm here. I'm receptive.” Come back to your primary object. Stay with that until some guidance comes. If you feel spirit there, just say, “Thank you. What do I need to know?”

You may receive information as a visual image. It won't necessarily be in words. You may even receive it as a scent or a sound. Don't try to figure it out, just be with it and let guidance carry you, guide you. If it begins to fall apart or you find yourself grasping, just come back to the breath or other primary object, back to vipassana.

We'll sit now for about 45 minutes in silence.

(tape paused)

(Sitting ends. Talking together now.)


I've just read part of page 10 of the transcript that Jeshua just sent. So the essence of that statement is, we are light. And yet we all also armor ourselves and diminish our light. Why do we do that? I think for many of us we do that because we're afraid of our power, because, and Aaron said some of this yesterday, he's saying we don't trust ourselves to hold the strong emotion that goes through us without using it in hurtful ways, so we diminish our power.

When we diminish our power, we diminish our light in the world. There's so much we can do in terms of healing ourselves and the earth if we can come to terms with what we think of as the negativity in ourselves, cease to be afraid of it, allow ourselves to fully express our power and light, and simply release that which is not useful.

For me this is the heart of the practice. I was meditating last night and this morning with some of the effects of that journey, the personal movement for me. A recent medical test showed that the end of my spinal canal is somewhat narrowed and pressing against nerves, which is bringing some weakness in the legs. So I saw my doctor Friday and we talked about options. And I said to him, “I feel strongly that this can heal from within.”

So I sat here this morning looking at any ways that I'm not allowing full energy to move through me, that I'm closing off the base chakra, that I'm diminishing my power and energy, and thereby in some ways holding that spinal canal end tight. This damage is in part a result of that wave accident nine years ago. But it's also reinforced through many lifetimes of holding my energy. Just thinking of it the way one moves one's bowels. One has to open to release the bowel matter. Or holding; holding energy. How do we allow the base of the spine fully to open so the energy is moving through?

So for me, that was what I came away with yesterday, and the importance to do this not just for myself but for everyone. Wherever we are, whatever comes to us, it comes as a teacher and teaching. So here is this. Some people would look at it as, “Oh, a medical condition. How am I going to fix that? Maybe there's surgery to fix it...” --blah, blah, blah, blah. Or just, “Okay, what do I need to pay attention to here? What is it guiding me to?” And it doesn't mean that there would not be medical help for it, but also, to what insight does this lead me? The need to more fully open the whole energy channel.

So that's just my little piece of it. I would love to hear sharing and questions from all of you.

Q: In the morning when we had the visualization of our power animal, I had the vision throughout the day. My power animal was a polar bear, which helped pull me up. And I thought, well what does he represent? And I thought, power, grace, survival, empowerment, beauty. Then at the same time, a dog was licking me—my face, my legs, he was kissing me the whole time as the polar bear was pulling me up. And I thought, that is heart, which completed the circle.

Barbara: The polar bear is also playful. It can be a serious animal with a need to survive. But also, given freedom, it's very playful. And a polar bear is very loving to its cubs, very nurturing.

Q: If two people are walking down the street, and one is expressing power and light, and the other one is more contracted, not expressing so much power and light, what is the difference in how they look, behave?

Barbara: To me, expressing power and expressing light are two different things. When we express light, there's usually power there. But we can also express power in which there is no light. When one is expressing power with no light, there's usually a harsh edge to the energy, very self-centered, a harsh kind of energy. When one is expressing light, there's power inherent in it, but they're not expressing the power, they're expressing the light. They're not even expressing, just open so that the light can shine forth. And then when there's a situation that needs power, the power is available. Does that make sense to you?

When I see the person expressing light, and the one not expressing it, I see auras so I see a brilliant and expansive energy around one and a dead space around the other. Other people may feel the difference rather than se eit, a void energy around the second person, a warmth around the first. I don't know if I've answered your question.

Q: (some inaudible statements) What is light?

Barbara: An Entity wishes to come in and give you an experience of her energy and light. We call her The Mother. Some of you may be able to feel her light and her energy. She's a mixture of a number of different expressions of the Divine Mother. The best way we can answer this question is just to have you feel her energy and see what you feel. Okay?


I'm doing my usual challenge procedure before letting an entity incorporate. The Mother has met my challenge and then she has said to me, “You have too much cocoa in your body!” (laughter) I did just drink 2 cups of hot cocoa.

(tape paused, the Mother incorporates)

The Mother: (she walks to the person who asked about feeling / seeing light and has taken her hands, looked into her eyes. The person begins to weep, then relaxes into the Mother's energy. The Mother returns to Barbara's chair., someone asks her if she will bless a case of water.)

The Mother:  I've been asked to bless the water and then explain it. So much of your body content is water. Imagine if each of those crystals, instead of being dull and heavy, were bright and open, high energy. We've been talking here about light and the power of light. So here is an opportunity, and I'm blessing this water, but you can do it with your own water.

Take your bottle of water. Hold it, cherish it. Shine your light upon it. Ask that it reflect the highest light and energy that it can, so that as you drink it, you may reflect that light and energy out into the world. Whenever you take a glass of water, bless it before you drink it.

Q: How long does the blessing stay in the water?

The Mother: Three seconds, three years. If you hold the blessing in the water, take the water and continue to cherish it and thank it, gratitude is a way of raising the vibration; it continues to hold that vibration. If you refrigerate it or cook with it, it will lose some of the high vibration.

(someone wants to give her a hug to say thank you)

That's fine, I would welcome a hug. Let me ask first, are there any who have not met with me who would like to? Okay. Let me pause this.

(tape paused)

(We spend 40 minutes with each person in turn coming to the Mother for Darshan, sitting before her, holding her hands, looking into her eyes; often the Mother peaks to the person.)

The Mother: We're discussing the distinction between my energy and Aaron's. Your guides each have their own distinct energy. Get to know their energy. You don't need a name for them, but you will start to feel and trust their energy. That is all.

(tape paused)

(The Mother leaves the body; session ends)