February 5, 1999 On Co-Creating and Manifestation

990205 pC.doc

February 5, 1999

Private Group Session

Barbara: We didn't start with a tape, are about 15 minutes into this small group session. Aaron has said hello and sent his love to everybody. He is talking about finding what we want in our lives. He gave the idea of a river with a current, and that if we want to get directly across, we can't swim directly across, we've got to account for the current. So he said, First, you must know where you are going. It can't simply be a statement, “Maybe I'll go here, maybe I'll go there” because then there's no clarity. And so you work at odds with yourself. You must know where you're going. And you must account for the current. He says that does not mean you have to demolish the current. It's fine that there's a current. You simply must know that there's a current.

He said that A's idea to get a half-time job is not the goal across the river. The goal across the river is personal fulfillment and financial stability. The half-time job is one bit of the river. He pointed out, I'm paraphrasing Aaron here, who is repeating himself very briefly here for the tape, that if there is ambivalence towards this half-time job because part of you wants to do this on your own, just self-employed and not having to be involved in a job working for an agency, he says that ambivalence becomes part of the current. Wanting the job so that you have the income from it and not wanting it because it's not what you really want to be doing. He says in that case what you really want to be doing is not a half-time job but to have more clients, to have enough pay on a dependable basis that you don't need the half-time job. He says, therefore all of that ambivalence is part of the current. I'm going to come back to direct channeling now.

Aaron: I am Aaron. First, I spoke about the process of creation coming from a spectrum of small ego self as dictator, when fear is the catalyst, through what we would call co-creator, letting go and coming more from a place of center, but still influenced by ego. Let's call it co-creator, and on into Co-Creator. Finally Co-Creator gives way to Creator. You cannot be “co” anything when there is true unity, when ego self falls away and you are truly at one with the universe. You are no longer Co-Creator, there's no need, you're simply Creator.

Most humans cannot sustain that Creator and at best become Co-Creators. With Co-Creator there is the ego self. As in any part of your life, you do not have to get rid of the ego self, you simply have to know it is there and it's part of the current. So you observe the fears of the ego self, the desires of the ego self. You do not discount these. You know where you want to go and you watch how the ego self subverts your direction. At some time, in a non-physical plane, all of you had the ability to manifest much as it is described in Genesis. Zap! Envisioning what you want, and allowing it to come into creation. On a non-physical plane this is not a miraculous skill, it's simply the skilled use of energy. Your energy envisions something, it touches on subtle levels with others' energy, which envision similar things. It draws to it what it needs. It can do this from a positively polarized place where it draws to it what it needs for the good of all beings, or it can do it from a negatively polarized place where it draws to it what it needs solely in service to self. But it does draw to it what it needs. How often have each of you from a centered place thought that you needed something and then had it presented to you? There's no mystery here. You draw it to you. You are magnets. You still do this, but with less consciousness about the forces involved, so you may create what you didn't think you wanted.

The question, then, is how does one use that inherent ability, draw it out into the earth plane and use it for the good of all beings, to create that which you wish to create. How do you bring the whole process into consciousness? Repeating, you must be very clear. You must know where you want to go. If you've got your eye on 2 places on the opposite bank, you're not going to come to either. You must refine that knowing where you want to go from wanting money for a specific purpose, wanting to work where you are not abused but are respected by others, and so forth, into a very concrete image of a self that is deeply fulfilled with its work and offering out to others in ways that are highly useful to others, and in which the resources that you need come in to you and are not grasped to you but are passed on to others, to pay for the things that you wish to have in your life. There is also the desire to learn and grow, which is an important part of the current. Hold these images deeply within you.

This is not fantasizing as much as imaging. Play it through so well that you know distinctly how you want it to be. You don't need the details. You don't need to fill in all the people you're going to be working with or even where you're going to be working. That you must leave loose. To fill that in is to cease to allow for the possibilities of grace. It's to cease to be co-creator and to move into dictatorship. Leave all the details loose. But envision the self in its interaction with others, and even here you can leave it loose if you do not have strong preference. Simply envision the self within a circle of beings offering out to other beings whatever you most need to offer. You can leave it that loose and you make the statement asking for help: “Help me to find myself in this center wherein I may express out from my being to other beings that which I can best give and which they most need.” The emphasis here is not on self only but on self as part of the process as manifesting out to all beings that which they need to receive. And then visualize in the same way, deeply envision yourself receiving that which you most need to receive.

Again, you don't need to be specific. The less specific you are, the better it works. And yet, at some point you may choose to be specific and that's OK. You may choose to see enough income coming in and then flowing out to build a house. To see that as a flow: you giving out your skill, others returning money to you which you then give out to the builder. The builder fulfilling his own dreams with what income he has. The whole give and take. Feel it in a relaxed way and note where there's tension. Tension about whether you have the capacity to give out in the way that you wish, tension about whether the money will come in. Wherever there's tension, note that tension and work with it in skillful ways, simply noting it as old conditioned mind state.

So you can work with this in either way. I said that the more open the vision, the more powerful it is but that it is perfectly okay to define the vision in certain areas. When you define the vision, you both create a specific focus and you create a limit. If you define the vision, for example, as money coming in to build the house, and you envision the house, that focuses the energy in that specific channel. But you therefore lose the opportunity for, let's say the ad that appeared in the paper for the perfect already-built house for you, which you had never considered buying Somebody with 10 acres of land on another beautiful site that suddenly for some reason needed to move away, wants to sell and has already built a house which is perfect for you, that would allow you to buy the already-built house, sell your present property, and not have any of the house building chores If you define the vision simply as bringing in the money to build the house then you lose other possibility. At the same time, you do focus the energy on this specific possibility. So, either is useful, but I personally find it more useful to stay as open as is possible.

On an energetic level, you draw to you what you need. This is no surprise to any of you. If a person has experienced being a victim of others throughout its life and has been abused by others, it sends out the kind of energy that invites abuse from others. It seeks to perpetuate its past experience. No matter how much that being says, “I don't like this happening to me, I want out!” at some level it's continuing to invite in and perpetuate that experience because it has not yet finished its work with being the victim.

If you are sending out energy which confirms your experience as a whole human being, deeply positively polarized and wishing it to be of service to others, and live in full harmony with the world, you're going to draw toward you that which reverberates with that intention. Where it gets puzzling for you is when there is this deep intention to live your wholeness in service to others and in harmony, and there are still the undercurrents of old karma, old habitual tendencies. These are like the currents in the river. You do not need to demolish the habitual tendencies. You need to know the habitual tendencies and to account for them as you swim across. Then they sweep by and begin to dissolve themselves.

So the two vital factors are to know where you are going and to know the precise nature of the current, of these habitual tendencies, and to have stopped waging war with them, to have stopped getting entangled with them but just to know, “These are probably present and I do need to account for them.” There is much more that could be said on this subject. I would be happy to answer your specific questions. I pause.

Barbara: Talking about shifts in work through the years, not knowing where he is now. I'm paraphrasing Aaron, he says the more you can simply rest in the centered place, again he says envision this movement from dictator through Creator and feel yourself somewhere along that spectrum, the fear that wants to control, the part that's completely relaxed and open wants to simply do whatever comes through. He says that allows you to take note of the currents of fear without disrespect for them but not being a slave to them. The closer you can come to Creator, the easier it feels.

Aaron: I am Aaron. Experience yourself as a conduit through which all the kind and loving and positive energy in the universe may flow. But the human itself adds specific direction and focus to that energy and shapes the energy. Without knowing the kind of shape it needs, how completely can you offer yourself as conduit for that energy and simply state, “My highest intention is to be of service to all beings in whatever ways I can best serve?” This does not exclude the self. To be of service to all beings does not mean you live in destitution on this earth. You cannot possibly be of service to others when your own needs are not met. To be of service to all beings includes your own well-being. You do not need to define that well-being, only to make the statement, “May I exist in well-being and through that well-being and wholeness and strength, may this mind-body-spirit complex offer its service to all beings in whatever ways present themselves as most suitable.” It's really a complete surrender. And then you need to stay alert and see what comes. Some of it may be the voice of temptation, dangling her displays of ego attractiveness before you. Somebody coming to you and saying, “Why don't you do this and it will make you famous.” Ohhhh! You can distinguish when ego jumps on and says, “Oooh, I want this!” but where it compromises your own moral standards.

Some of what comes through is going to be very clear. Literally you invite it in. You don't have to say, “I want to teach. I want to counsel.” Certain opportunities will present themselves and then you will have to follow up on them in appropriate ways, even perhaps including getting specific certification to do some kind of work for your school or other tools that you need. If you relax and stop trying to force it and instead focus your intention on what is primary, and stay alert to see what presents itself, it will present itself.

You must note all the forces, and some of them are very subtle. Here your meditation is a great help. What discursive mind thinks is primary may not be what is really primary. For example, this instrument offered as primary to learn about non-separation. She did not realize that and then, when offered this lesson through her deafness, she railed at the deafness and said, “why me?” She had asked to learn this and had not set up any parameters, but asked to learn in whatever way was possible. She also did not take into consideration the self-sabotaging current which had said “I want to prove that I am not worthy, not good.” She had not resolved that concept. So she kept inviting in that which enhanced this view of self. I pause.

Barbara: He says, do you see how quickly the ego gets caught up in this and says - this is the question of control we were talking about earlier - “I want to control.” And we feel so out of control if we think we don't know what we're doing. But he says none of us really know what we're doing anyhow! Why not concede that and just relax.

Q: That's what I have been doing with the ... group, is letting go of control of being the leader and allowing a more open situation. However, in that, I don't make any money and it also invites in a lot of uncertainty in terms of a direction of the group.

Barbara: He says this is not necessarily what he means by letting go of control. This for you is an experiment, a part of your learning about control and non-control.

Q2: I didn't want to interrupt the flow of thoughts. This is related to it. In talking about intention for Q, what he expresses is intention to want to (personal goal) I suggested to Q that it might be necessary to (details of a new marketing approach involving mailing brochures) Is that being too out there rather than waiting and receiving with intention?

(Barbara suggests this answer should be transcribed.)

Aaron: I am Aaron. There are different energetic levels having simultaneous influence. On one far end of the spectrum, there is the fearful ego self that says, “How am I going to get more money? One thing I'm good at is ... . I like to ... . It does serve others, too. I want to do this.” It's trying to grasp and make something happen. At the absolutely opposite end of the spectrum is that which I've called Creator. Creator creates but it needs some of the Co-Creator, some of the human self, to bring it into manifestation on the earth plane. That Creator at the opposite end of the spectrum might say, “I want to be of service to all beings including myself. I will be totally open as to how that may happen.” Now, from that total open space it can't go out and send brochures. But from that totally open space, it listens. It listens to the deep voice within which suggests, “I am a ... I have the ability to offer this to others. This is what I can do of the greatest service.” It knows this is not ego's voice. There's no desire to control or manipulate. One who is a musician, “I have this gift of music and I can bring music to others.” The gardener: “I have a gift of understanding growing things ... “ The teacher: “I understand this deeply and have the gift to convey that understanding.” It doesn't mean there is only one thing you can bring, but here is a gift, often a gift deepened through many lifetimes.

So you have the ego at one end, wheels spinning, saying, “How am I going to make this happen?” and trying to force it, and we have the deep centered wisdom of Creator at the other end feeling itself to be part of a whole continuum in which this particular mind-body stream has brought to fruition certain qualities that it has the abilities to pass on. For the human self, you are the Co-Creator somewhere in the middle.

You may take the idea, “Well, I could teach” and ask, it's the same asking, but you can feel the contractedness at the one end of the spectrum and the spaciousness at the other, ask, “Who might be receptive to these teachings?” How can I best offer these teachings? Note, the dictator self is saying, “How can I ‘sell' these teachings?” It's trying to push it. This Co-Creator says, “How can I best offer what I teach?” The emphasis isn't to force something down someone's throat so you will get something back that you think you need. Fear's voice may be saying that. “How can I convince them to take this so that they'll pay me so I'll have enough money that I need to live my life.” You can feel the contractions of fear's voice there. But the spacious self is saying, “what can I give for the good of all beings.”

This instrument uses this process. She asks, “How can this deep love and reverence I have for the dharma, how can I offer this out to others and trust that as they hear the dharma, they will be inclined to offer me adequate support so that I can continue to teach the dharma?” This is the basis of the whole process of dana.

So, the idea to offer this brochure, how do you best offer it skillfully? Wisdom says you make it available. You can't just sit back in your house and say, “I'm going to think it out and maybe somebody will pick up my thought wave and call me.” You've got to make it available. But the movement comes from a place of love and there's no grasping. However, since you're human, there's going to be some grasping. That's why I say you must see what the other shore is. In this situation, the opportunity to more widely offer your ability for the service of all beings.

And you must see what the currents are. In this situation, the fear: “Will my needs be met? Will others approve of me?” and so forth. You don't get rid of the currents. This is what I have been teaching you for as long as we've known one another. You embrace fear and draw it into the loving heart. You allow the energy of fear to dissipate. There's nothing there to attack. But you must also acknowledge there is this human self and this small ego that wants to be dictator because that feels like the place where control and safety lie. Watch how the movement to create these flyers, to offer this, comes from both places, and stay as clear as you can. Acknowledge the current and swim to your goal.

I would add one thing here. When I said, “Be as general as you can,” I mean you begin with “Be as general as I can.” But then certain specific answers are going to come. If the answer to the question, “How can I best offer this ... “ comes to you as “Offer it to schools, or to churches,” there's still a generalness here. There's no grasping. The goal on the opposite shore is not to sell something to churches, rather, it's to offer this teaching to those who can benefit by hearing it. There's a great spaciousness in which you make up your flyer and mail it out. If they pick it up and call you, that's fine. If they say, “No, thank you,” that's also fine. Maybe they will throw it out and the person who picks it up out of the trash is the one who needs it. But if you direct it only to, let us say, Unitarian churches, you don't leave room for the person who picks it up out of the trashcan. The doctor who calls you and says, “I found this, I was taking my trash to the city dump and I found it floating on the surface. It just blew up into my hands. And it's just what our office staff needs.” You've got to leave space for that or you're going to say, “Oh no, I'm only offering this to Unitarian churches.” Keep it spacious. I pause.

Barbara: He says if you have a fixed focus, you miss all the periphery. He says, on an energetic level, he says literally, if your energy is geared to, “I'm going to offer (specific offering) to Unitarian churches,” he says the flyer is not going to blow against the Presbyterian minister or doctor. He says, literally on an energetic level you've cut off that possibility. Your flyer is going to get buried in the muck.

Q2:  It's interesting what you're talking about because the idea of Unitarian church I brought up as a way of looking beyond the current audience ...

Barbara: The difficulty I always had was the ego self would come in and say, “No, it ought to be this way.” And the point that Aaron's been emphasizing that I find very helpful is the same practice of working with fear that's always been there but directed into this whole manifestation process. When fear comes in and the ego starts saying, “Do it this way. Is this going to work? Is that going to work?” ... bow to the fear and set it down and don't get caught up in identification with it.

Q: I have been doing that as much as possible and at the same time there is the manifestation aspect of the process where decisions have to be made about creating some structure. For example, a ... group. There has to be some decision about how to organize it, how to set it up.

(Discussion on composition of group now coming.)

What I'm saying is that there has to be some manifestation and yet for me, there's uncertainty as to what that should be. That's where it gets confusing for me. I feel like I'm in a transition in my work. Before, it was simple. I was the only teacher and I set up the classes. . It was very straightforward. Now, there are many more people involved in different ways and it's often unclear to me what we are doing here. What I am doing, what is my role.

Aaron: I am Aaron. I think the primary difficulty here is that there are different overlapping issues. And, because you're on a kind of crash course toward learning in this incarnation, there is intention to resolve all of these issues and to take more than one on at once, if necessary. As example, for some people in such a situation, there may be an issue of control, and an issue of worthiness. The issue of worthiness ties into the whole issue of your own well-being, and drawing in adequate resources to support the self. There's the issue of, let's call it, that within the self which deeply aspires to be of service to all beings, vs. that within the self which does not wish to be a servant to anything. So some life situations will bring up several of these issues.

Coming to the example of your group, If the primary issue which you wish to resolve in this group was to practice not grasping at control, to observe that which feels it needs to be in control, then letting go as you are would be entirely suitable. But there is another issue of responsibility and what it means to be responsible to others. If the issue was only responsibility, the response would also not be difficult, but it's confusing because that which needs to be responsive to others must assume some form of authority, but it cannot be an authority that gets caught up in ego's desire to be the authority and be in control. It's that balance point ... I pause.

Barbara: That balance point is difficult in part because we get confused over what is responsibility and what is ego control. Aaron says it is difficult to be human!

Aaron: I am Aaron. Speaking to you all, when this kind of confusion arises, you come back to your basic vipassana practices, noting “contracted, contracted.” Feel the contraction in your energy. It's a statement some kind of confusion is present. You cannot act upon that confusion in a clear way so long as you're caught up in the confusion and the experience of it. So there is need to come back to a more stable center, focusing on the breath and aware of the experience of contractedness.

Working really with anapanasati, you become aware also of the presence of non-contractedness. Where contractedness is present there also must be a possibility and reality of non-contractedness, however slim sliver it may seem. Experiencing non-contractedness, watching contractedness. One begins to see how one has gotten caught up in all these different ego issues, “Ah! The same old demons. Invite them in for tea. Nothing new here.” You keep coming back to center again and again and again.

You don't have to fix the contractedness. The fear voice can be like a 2-year-old having a temper tantrum. The adult goes on and does whatever it was doing. It checks on the 2 year old to be certain he's not going to hurt himself. Beyond that, it just lets the 2 year old have its temper tantrum. It doesn't get angry at it, it doesn't try to cater to it so it will stop. It just lets it do it.

That which is confused because it wants control, that which wants to be responsible to others but is fearful of that which wants control, that which doesn't really want to be responsible at all, all of these voices—just note the contraction and come back to center. Then you're always going to be able to feel your way through. You know from your experience that what I say is true. You know you do have that possibility to feel your way through. Yes, you must also observe that which doesn't want to, which wants to give up and say, “Ah! The sky is falling! The sky is falling! Help!” Watch that thread in you too. It's not a very big thread in most of you, but of course it manifests itself subtly in every human. When you can't find the center, observe the presence of that which really doesn't want to, which is resistant, or wants to feel like the victim ... Do you see what I mean? I pause.

Q: That dovetails with the unworthiness, that if I move into unworthiness and being the victim then I don't need to take responsibility.

Aaron: I am Aaron. This is correct, so at this point you just see all of it as old conditioned tendency. And simply come back to center. I pause.

Q: That's very helpful.

Barbara: He says don't get caught in the stories of any of this. Just watch how it all arises and flies around.

Q: When I have been coming into this particular difficulty, I have been doing metta. But I see that Aaron's suggestion of moving into vipassana would bring more clarity as to what is actually happening.

Barbara: He says at that point there's no disassociation with the pain of what's happening. If anything, you let yourself experience those pains and frustrations more fully. But you don't get caught up in the story line of it. He says this is the value of the strong foundation of vipassana. You really know this experience of center. And you just come back to your breath and rest in that place of clarity which watches all of this coming through without having to come into any kind of war with it.

Aaron: I am Aaron. Can you see that the tendency to want to fix? We want to fix even the thoughts of wanting to be in control, wanting to be the authority; when this arises, we say, “I should fix this. I should change this in some way.” If any kinds of angry thoughts arise, then the thought, “I should fix this. I should change it in some way.” comes. This is all part of getting involved in the story of it. If anger arises and you don't need to act it out, and you don't need to try to fix it or change it in any way, right there, there's nothing to be done with it. It's just energy. It's clear. There's nothing to do with it. I pause.

(tape ends)