December 30, 2012 Sunday, Corinthians Church Christmas Stories

Aaron: My blessings and love to you all. I am Aaron. I want to come down here amongst you, not tower above you on a platform. I remember when we gathered as friends around a campfire. Numerous times I had the joy to walk with Jeshua, and in the evenings we would gather, a small group around one fire, or several small groups around several fires. His presence was very powerful, no matter whether we sat at his fire or an adjacent one. As I share these stories I want to try to capture that feeling, just sitting around the campfire.

Most of you have heard me share some of the beginnings of the story. I was a 4 or 5 year old boy living in the hills as a shepherd at the time of Jeshua's birth. You can read this in the Deep Spring archives and in the book 47 Stories, my stories about Jeshua that have been recorded.

As an infant, of course, he was sent away for his safety, so beyond the night of his birth, I didn't get to know him until his return. He was a small boy, and a very active boy, and I was a few years older. We quickly became friends. I spent much of my time at the Essene community, where Jeshua lived when he returned from his infant travels, and he also spent time with me out in the hills. So I was blessed to enjoy his company, and his radiance and wisdom. Yes, even as a small boy, there was wisdom.

The essence of the stories I want to tell today focus on being the light that you seek. This was an important lesson from him, even when he was young. It is something he stated frequently.

We were in the hills with my sheep. Because I was a few years older, he was entrusted to me, in a sense as I was entrusted to him, to come up into the hills, sometimes for several days, where I was taking care of the sheep. Food had been packed for us for three days, so we had a big basket of very delicious food. We sat by the evening fire, the sheep around us. I was about 12 and Jeshua about 8.

Suddenly some young men approached us, boys in their late teens, boys whom we recognized but they were not part of our Essene community. You might call them wild boys today. They were self-centered, angry, arrogant, and willing to take whatever they wanted. I heard a stir among the sheep, and then they appeared; one of them was holding a lamb. They said in a very ill-mannered way, “Just so you know, we're taking this lamb.”

Well, I was responsible for this lamb. I asked them, “Why do you need to take it?”

“We're hungry. We're taking it home. It will feed us.”

I didn't really know what to say. I was 12 and not yet grown into my adolescence. They were a foot and more taller than I was. But Jeshua, little Jeshua at 8, stepped up and said, “If you are hungry, we have plenty of food. Please take what you need.”

They said, “We'll sit and eat with you and then we'll take the lamb.”
He said, “As you need.” So we began to talk with them as we sat around the fire, offering them of our abundance, as we had 3 days' worth of food. We knew we could return to the village the next day and get more if we needed it. We would not starve. Jeshua kept pushing food on them. He asked them, “Why do you steal? Why are you afraid that your needs will not be met?”

They said, “Our needs are never met.”

He said, “Your needs are being met right now. You are eating. You are sitting by a warm fire. What more do you need?”

One of the young men said, “I need a good knife. I don't have a good knife. My good knife was damaged.” Jeshua opened his home-made pack in which he carried a few extra warm clothes and other things, pulled out a beautiful knife and handed it to the young man. He said, “Here; it is yours.” The man said, “But this is yours.”

“I give it to you. I give it to you freely.”
“But what will you do for a knife?”

“I will receive what I need. Everything I need always comes to me, as it will to you if you trust the inner light in yourself. You are the light that you seek,” he said, “and you are everything that you seek. There is nothing you need that is outside yourself. So come into your loving heart and find that light. Be that light.” He handed the lad the knife.

By the time they finished the meal with us, it was drawing night and cold. We were in, I wouldn't call it a cave but an overhang that kept the icy dew and moisture off, and we had blankets to spread on the ground. They said, “It's late. We stayed here much longer than we intended. We will stay here for the night.” Fine. Jeshua and I each had several blankets, so we shared them. We all bedded down and went to sleep.

In the middle of the night, I awakened by the glow of the remaining fire to see another of the young men going through Jeshua's pack. My first instinct was to say, “No, that belongs to Jeshua.” And then I felt his hand on me. Remember, this is an 8 year old boy. And he said aloud, “Brother, what do you seek? If it's my means to give it to you, it is yours.” The young man was alarmed, “I've been caught!” Jeshua could see his alarm. He said, “No. Whatever is mine is yours. There is nothing to be afraid of.” He didn't really have anything of value in there. A piece of fruit, some extra clothing. He said, “Take it.”

In the morning we sat with the young men and learned a bit more about their lives, how hard a struggle their lives were, and that their parents were often abusive to them. They had young siblings at home who often did not have enough to eat. Jeshua said to me, “What if instead of giving them a lamb that they can eat now, what if you give them the use of one of your sheep that is going to bear a lamb within the next month or six weeks? After that lamb is weaned, if that lamb is a female, let them keep it, that they may begin to raise sheep, and we'll teach them how.” These young men were astonished. “Why would you do that for us?”

“Because you are our brothers. There is never a need for fear. One's needs are always met if one goes into the inner light in one's heart and knows I AM the light.”

Constantly, my travels with him, not just as a boy but when we were men, brought me the same lesson: You are the light that you seek.

There was a time when I traveled with him as an adult. We passed an area where there were lepers and heard a woman cry out in pain. Jeshua immediately left the main road and climbed up into the hills toward where that cry originated. We found several leper women gathered around a woman giving birth. The baby was not presented properly and it would not be born.

I was hanging back. I was frightened. These were lepers. The disease was contagious, it was deadly. This was my first direct experience with them. Jeshua did not push me. If he had tried to force me, I would have resisted. He simply said, “Come forth, if you wish,” so I followed him up the path. When we reached the small group around the laboring mother and learned the situation, Jeshua turned to me and he said, “You know about birthing sheep and mal-presentation of the lamb. Perhaps you can help this woman.” Well, I was not a doctor, and I knew that Jeshua could have helped her more than I could. And yet, he was offering me an opportunity, and I understood that opportunity, to choose love over fear. To know that I did not have to be afraid of catching an illness, because I was protected, not by Jeshua but by love. That there was no intention within me to create hardship for myself or for the woman, but only to help.

So I was brought boiled water and soap and washed my hands with it, and was able to reach in and shift the presentation of the baby so that it came out easily. Afterward I began to shake with fear. I was touching literally inside her. “I am covered with this leprosy germ.” Jeshua simply took my hands, unwashed hands,  and repeated this same message from childhood: “You are the light that you seek. Be that light. Bring forth that light and trust that light, because in the radiance of your true light and love, no harm can come, in its ultimate sense. Of course, we can try to help somebody and stumble and skin our knees. The greater harm would be not to help.”

You are the light that you seek, and you always have a choice to be that light, to live that divine radiance that is the core of your being, or to retreat in fear that says, “I cannot do this. I am not good enough. I am not whole enough.” Why would you do that?

My friends, you are here in incarnation to learn love. It is just that, that you came to learn, love and compassion. You are mammals; therefore there is that fight or flight mechanism. Something lunges at you and you either run or you attack back. It takes a lot of courage and training to learn not to flee or fight, but simply to hold space for the mammalian reflex of contraction and fear, and not to enact it but to be the light. When you are that light, amazing things happen. It literally changes the whole world.

If you would not be confused or discomforted by a shift in the incorporated entity, a different entity is going to come through now and speak to you. Many of you have been here with the Mother incorporated in this body, and Father John. Here I am telling stories of my wonderful experiences with Jeshua, but they're secondhand.

We have just celebrated his birth. His birth is not just about the birth of the human, whom you came to know as Jeshua, both human and divine, but the awakening to your own divinity. His birth symbolizes that awakening for all of you on Earth. You are the light that you seek. You are the light of the world, as he has been called the Light of the World, but you don't remember that yet. You've forgotten. And you're afraid to be the light, because it feels like a huge responsibility. Do you feel you can always carry that light? (addressing  one person, then another, with the question)  What, you can't let it shine forth?  

But you are not asked to be perfect, only to take the chance to try to be that light, to know that light deep in your heart and invite it forth, over and over again.

While I've been telling you stories about my memories with Jeshua, Jeshua is here with us and would like to speak to you directly. When I say Jeshua is here with us, Jeshua has an enormous energy field. If I sat with you by the ocean and said, “Would you like the ocean?”, I could not hand you the billions of gallons of ocean but simply a bucketful. I cannot give you Jeshua in his infinity, but that portion of Jeshua that can be contained in this body. A strand of Jeshua will come forth and speak.

Let me add, as an aside, that just as you do not have to believe that I, as Aaron, am real, you also do not have to believe that Jeshua is real, actually presenting himself here. Whatever is meaningful to you, take it, and if it's not meaningful to you, let it go. We of the spirit realm, we are real, just as your higher selves are real, the spirit essence of each of you. But there's nothing to believe in, just what your heart tells you. Are the words useful to you? Is the energy itself useful to you? That is all.

(Jeshua incorporates, first 7 minutes was not taped; correct buttons not pushed; he walks up and down the aisle and offers a welcome, speaks a greeting.)

Jeshua: I came into that incarnation to teach, to remind you: the light is always here. People thought I was special, but I am not special. I am not more divine than you. Only, in that incarnation I remembered who I was. And now is a time for all of you to remember, to know your truth, because your world is crying for that truth, crying in anguish for love, for compassion, for allowing the radiance to shine forth forever.

Have you had enough of darkness? It's been 2,000 years since I came, and you've been burrowing your way out of that darkness for all of those years, and were lost in the darkness for the centuries before.

(Jeshua removes mic and walks around room speaking to individuals. He speaks with a strong voice, recorder picks it up) Perhaps you can hear me without this; it's too binding.

(He is taking hands briefly as he speaks to people in the room)

You—are you ready to shine forth? (Q: I'm ready.)

Are you? (to another) (Q: Yes I am.)

(smiling) You're already shining. Let go of your fear. Your fear is all that keeps you in darkness.

Daughter, I love you...

You, son. The more your heart breaks, the more light can shine forth from it. Don't be afraid of the breaking heart, but keep finding the light that's within it. I am with you...

Keep that love and light shining...

You are so much more than you could ever imagine...

Each of you, be the fullest light that you can be. Daughter, you are the living Christ. You. You can be it...

And you, you would not put a beautiful plant in a dark closet. Pull yourself out of that darkness...

And you are shining ever more brightly. It brings me joy...

There is nowhere to go, there is nothing to do. You are already there. Let go of all the ideas of doing that are based in fear...

Shine it forth! Yes, trust....

Stop trying to make yourself small. When negative thoughts come, blow them away like dandelion puffs, and rest in the light...

Your heart is glowing. Learn to trust that heart more fully...

I will not say not to be sad, but find the deep joy that's there with the sadness. Learn to live from that place of joy and not to get trapped in the fear that cuts off the light. Know the radiant heart. When you live in your heart, everyone is so much happier...

There is nothing I can tell you that you don't already know. Trust...

I love the radiance that's pouring out of you. Keep it shining!

Release everything but love. Nothing else matters. It's all illusion. Let it go...

You are beautiful when you smile and the light pours out...

And you, daughter...

This is the message of my coming. You are the light that you seek, not me. Don't put me up on a pedestal, but use me as a model to remind you, for you are me; you are the Light and Love of the universe. The world is in such a place of darkness, fear, greed, and hatred, and yet it's ready to burst free, like those dandelion puffballs of which I spoke. The dandelion flower grows, then it's covered with seeds. They don't define the dandelion flower yet are its essence. Blow them away and let the flower blossom anew. Blow the fear and darkness away in your world through your light, through your love, through your courage.

Do not do it because you feel you are special or better than others. I am quoted as saying the meek will inherit the earth. You are the meek, not the haughty and arrogant. Do it because you are every man and every woman. Everyone is like you. Everyone has the same divine capacity as you. Do it because there is nothing else you can do, when you come to the place of love in your heart. Have you battled, hated, and feared enough? Put it aside and awaken to the newest consciousness of love.

Remember that I walk with you, and I am with you always, each of you. I will never abandon you. I love you. You do not have to be a so-called Christian to experience my presence. I am not Christian, I am love. I am the highest expression of love that I can be, to remind you that you are that same expression. I love you.

I believe we're out of time.

(Aaron reincorporates)

Aaron: I am Aaron. So, some words to you directly from my beloved brother Jeshua. I assume that some of you can feel the difference in our vibration. His is a very high vibration, mine not quite as high. There are so many stories that I could share, but they all come down to the same essential message.

I could not bear to see him choose the path he chose, to crucifixion. I did not witness it. It was too hard for me. I was angry at him. “Why did you choose to die” my heart said, “when your presence could bring so much light that the world so badly needed?” It took me some time to understand that his physical departure from the earth really made no difference. His presence was there. We'll talk more about this at Easter, and the whole question of the resurrection.

All of you are the living Christ. When he says, “I am the light and the way,” he doesn't mean he as the individual Jeshua but the I AM presence. I AM is the light and the way. Follow that I AM, that divine essence within your heart. If you live that, your earth is going to glide through this transition into a place of light and love. I'm not saying there will be no pain, but you are going to open into the ever-higher consciousness. That is your plan in coming into this incarnation. Don't be afraid to be the light or be afraid to put your hands out and ask for help from your own guides, from me, from Jeshua. We walk with you. Our intention is to bring the highest divine consciousness to earth. This was why the Earth was created. Let it happen. It's time.

I'll end here. My blessings and love to you all, and thank you for this opportunity to speak with you. This talk, my part and Jeshua's, will be transcribed and will be available to you through the Deep Spring website. Perhaps through Corinthians also.

(tape paused)

Barbara: We're going to a question period now. Aaron will  incorporate as needed.

Q: What do we have to do to prepare ourselves for this new time of 2012/Aquarius?

Aaron: When you were born, you were born with a capacity for speech, a capacity to walk, to climb, to run. But the newborn infant could not speak, could not climb or run. It was a natural process to learn speech. You observed the adults around you and pulled yourself upright, strengthening the body. The infant did not think, “I must strengthen my body so I can walk.” The infant heart knew, “I will walk,” allowed the body to guide it into strengthening itself so it could stand up.

You are in the same process now. If you think, “What must I do to prepare myself?”, there's fear. You're trying too hard. But if you simply relax and say, “I choose to express light and love, gratitude, graciousness, joy, in every aspect of my daily life.” And then to be mindful when there's strong negativity, fear, anger, not to try to get rid of the fear but to note it. Note its presence and ask, “Right here with anger, where is graciousness? Right here with fear, where is love? Right here with sadness, where is joy?” They're simultaneous. If you look in this direction, you cannot see in that direction. If you look in that direction (pointing), you cannot see in that direction. If you keep looking into negativity you see more and more negativity. As soon as awareness notes “negative thought—I choose light,” that's all that is needed. First become aware of the habitual patterns of negativity in the self that have built up for eons and can be swept away in an instant and then to say, “No, not that direction. I choose light.”  There is a beautiful poem that reminds us that a house that has laid in darkness for eons is lit up as soon as you strike a match.

Feel yourself contracting in anger. Breathe. “Anger, anger.” What is the direct experience of anger? Not the stories it wants to spin but the direct experience of heat, contraction and tension. Know it. That which is aware of anger is not angry. Come back to the light. Come back to the light, over and over again, and eventually it will become the new habit. When enough of you are ready to do it, that light is going to shine forth so that the Earth is glowing throughout the universe. Thank you. Other questions?

Q (via signer): I just wanted to express my gratitude and love. When the spirit (Jeshua) came near me and identified fear, I felt shame. I do understand it is just a way to stop the light.... Just, thank you.

Aaron: You're welcome. Is there anybody in this room who has not felt shame in the past month? Is there anyone who has not felt fear in the past month? This is a part of the human experience. If your intention was never to feel fear, negative thought, shame, you would not have incarnated. Your intention was not to avoid negative feelings, but to learn how to bring that light forth so that the negative feelings are seen for what they are: simply old habitual patterns of contraction and negativity. Because as each of you overcomes those habitual patterns through the radiance of your being, it changes the whole world, each of you giving forth more and more light.

I will not say “Don't be ashamed,” only, watch shame just as another habitual pattern. There's nothing there. Let your heart shine forth. Don't say, “No, I will not be ashamed,” but “I offer love to this shame, to purify it and let it release.” Thank you. And thank you for your thanks.

Q (via signer): I felt really drawn to be here today. My question is of a personal nature. I feel that I need to hear in words rather than intuition. It is concerning a struggle I'm having with my father and deep fears that I am having with my handicapped sister.

Aaron: Daughter, all struggle brings you to a place where you are caught in some kind of darkness, in lack of understanding, and offers you an opportunity for the heart to stretch and grow still further.

Some of you will have read the book or seen the delightful film How the Grinch Stole Christmas. He's on top of the mountain. He was going to push the sleigh of Christmas gifts and items over the mountain, to destroy it. It had been said his heart was two sizes too small. But he heard the children singing in the valley, and he thought maybe Christmas doesn't come from a store, maybe it means more. Suddenly there was an insight into the true nature of his own self and of the world, as love. And he jumped off the sleigh, held onto the end of the runner, as it was about to fall down the hill, this huge heavily laden sleigh, and he pulled it back. You see his heart growing. “His heart grew two sizes that day,”  says the story. You see it opening in his chest.

We each come to the opportunities to which we are led by our karma. It's perfect. It's all perfect. You father, your sister. You have the opportunity here to watch the arising of contraction, of fear, of anger, of sadness, and simply to say, “That fear is not the fullness of who I am.” But the fullness of who you are is this heart that is growing and growing and growing.

It will happen one step at a time. There won't suddenly be an instant of full light, forgiveness, and openheartedness with everything. But if you are persistent, lovingly persistent, each time these kinds of emotions arise, and say, “I am not going to be trapped by this anymore, by this fear, this anger, this confusion,” find in that moment something for which you can be grateful. Something with your sister, something with your father. In a lifetime, there must be some moment for which you can be grateful. Go back to it. Reflect on it. Let yourself feel real gratitude toward this person in your family and your relationship to him or her. It doesn't negate the anger or fear. It doesn't force it away. It simply brings in light. And it speaks of your intention to bring forth that light and let it shine.

Can you try that? Don't go with the stories of shame. Just, ah, here is fear, anger, negativity. Breathing in, I am aware of the fear. Breathing out, I smile to the fear. I bring love to myself. And then from myself I spread it out.

It's all about light and love. It's never about getting rid of anything but seeing what else is there. Along with the darkness there is always light. You can choose to recognize it, or you can withdraw further into the darkness. Your work is to recognize the light and live the light. Loving spirit is always helping you to do that. Thank you.

I will leave the body. My love is with you.

(recording ends)