|
Home -> Aaron -> Retreats -> 2007
Durham, NC Retreat Aaron, March 30, 2007
Friday, March 30, 2007 Durham, NC Retreat
Aaron: My blessings and love to you all. I am Aaron. John, all of you who have made this weekend happen. I'm
delighted to see so many of you come together to share the dhamma. Your radiance is very beautiful.
For those of you who are skeptical about whether I am real, don't worry about it. I look like Barbara. I even have
the same voice. Are you real? (pointing to people) Are YOU real? Are YOU real? What is real? If what I say is useful to
you, take it into yourself and make it your own. If it's not useful to you, discard it. It's as simple as that. Don't
worry about who I am, but listen with your heart and ask, does this dhamma speak to my heart?
We arrived at a subject for this weekend of moving beyond limitations because so many of you live within a belief
structure that confines you to limitations. And you are miserable, thusly confined, because you are radiant, vast
spirit, not just these small bodies and minds, and feel your imprisonment. Your meditation practice is the means to come
to know the truth of your being, to know your true nature, and break out of confinement, to be free.
Look at this hand (holding up a hand). What if I said, this is the end of the hand? It seems to be, yes? Now what's
happening? (turning hand slowly) Ah, there's more than you thought! The hand doesn't have an end, does it? It just goes
around. It does seem to have an outer edge even though it's turning and that edge changes. But how about the energy
field that expresses from it? Each of you has such an energy field. Do you end where your skin ends? How far out do you
extend?
John, put up your hand. Where does John end and I begin? John, can you feel my energy?
John: Hot!
Aaron: Yet, while John and I each express energy, where we come together, the energy is no longer mine or his, just
energy. All of you, feel the energy in the room. Can you find your energy in it? No, because it is mingled with the
total energy. And yet you each believe that you are a separate self, and within that illusion is your suffering and your
entrapment.
We talk about the different skandhas or aggregates of self. The body, the physical form. Is there anybody here who
has the same form today that you had 20 years ago? Nobody? Your thoughtsthat's the second skandha, mind. Is your
thinking today the same as it was 20 years ago?
Feelings of pleasant, unpleasant, and neutral arise. Is there anybody sitting in this room who has not had pleasant,
unpleasant, and neutral feelings in the past hour? Maybe there was a sensation of an itch or tingling - unpleasant. Then
feeling changes; it constantly changes. Pleasant shifts to unpleasant and back again. The form, the feelings, the mind
arise out of conditions and when the conditions change, these things change.
Perception is the fourth skandha. Your perceptions of the world are constantly changing, depending on the conditions.
The fifth skandha is consciousness itself, body and mind consciousness. Consciousness is as simple as the process
wherein the eye that touches an object and seeing-consciousness arises. The ear touches a sound and hearing
consciousness arises. The mind touches an object, a thought or a memory, and mind consciousness arises. It's all arising
and passing away, dependent on conditions.
You are not any of these skandhas. They simply arise out of conditions. There's a beautiful old Buddhist teaching
about the chariot. The chariot has wheels. It has shafts that hold it to the horse. It has a seat for the driver. It has
an axle. What is the chariot? Are the wheels the chariot? The seat? Yet without any one, there is no chariot. How about
this chair, is the seat the chair? Are the legs the chair? Is the back the chair? Without a seat, even if there were
legs, you couldn't sit on it. Without the legs it would simply be a cushion on the floor.
Everything is made up of non-self parts. The chariot is this mixture of objects. There's nothing you can point to and
say, 'That's the chariot.' There's nothing you can point to and say, 'That's the chair.' And yet, you all point to
yourselves and say, 'This is me.' What are you? Are you today's body, yesterday's or tomorrow's? Those of you with some
kind of illness, are you that illness? Those of you who have struggled with unworthiness feelings, abuse, anger, and
fear, are you your anger, are you your fear? Are you your feelings of unworthiness? Is it this upon which you build the
self image?
When people come to me and say, 'I'm a happy person,' or, 'I'm an angry person,' that's their image of themselves.
But all of these arise and pass away, they are not self. They are not what you are. Then what are you?
You are spirit, you are divine. You are radiant light. You are awareness. You are pure being. And yet even here we
cannot define it with a single word. There's nothing in your language to clearly define the nature of being. The English
language is poor, in that sense.
The Buddha spoke about the conditioned realm and made a distinction between the conditioned and the Unconditioned.
While speaking to a group of monks, he said, 'Monks, there is an Unborn, Undying, Unchanging, Uncreated. If it were not
so, there would be no reason for our lives.' What is this Unconditioned, and how do you get to know it?
You could look forever at the arising and passing away of conditioned objects and still miss the Unconditioned. I'd
like you to try something with me. Hold one hand up in front of your face. Stare at the fingers as you wiggle them. Keep
them moving, stare at them. Let's name each as one of the skandhas: the form, the mind, perceptions, feelings,
consciousness; (wiggling a finger to each name) there they all are.
Now, shift your gaze and look through. Look at me. Or, look at this body that I'm presently incorporated into. If you
can see me, so much the better!
Keep the fingers wiggling, but look through. The fingers don't cease to exist but there's a vast space beyond them.
Come back and look at the fingers again. And then again, look with the gaze passing right through. Do you see the vast
space beyond the objects?
Your meditation practice invites you to watch the arising and passing away of the conditioned realm, of physical
sensations, mind and thoughts, feelings, perceptions, and consciousness, all arising and passing away. You watch it and
watch it and you watch it, and you ask, 'What else is there?' until one day, you wake up looking through. You see how
objects arise and pass away. They arose from space and then passed away into space. The space remains.
What do I mean by space? Look in the room. There are a lot of people in the room, yes? There is a floor, and a
beautiful ceiling. What is the biggest object in the room?
Q: Space.
Aaron: Yes, it's the invisible object, space. This room is filled with space, and the objects exist in the space.
When all of you pass out the door, the space remains. If you take a break and then come back in again, the space is not
harmed or changed in any way by your entry or leaving the room, the space remains.
It's hard to find a metaphor that clearly expresses the Unconditioned. The Buddha's words: unborn, undying,
unchanging, uncreatedthis is as close as one can come. One must experience it. Your meditation practice gives you the
tools with which to experience it.
May I have the bell, John? Thank you.
I'd like you to listen to this sound. The ear organ touches the object, the sound of the bell, and hearing
consciousness arises. Then the bell sound fades away and hearing consciousness fades away. Let's do just that much
first.
(Bell)
The bell arises out of the stillness and fades back into the stillness. As the bell fades, go into that space and
stillness. Listen.
(Bell)
Physical sensations arise: an itch, heat, or maybe a pleasant feeling of relaxation in the body. They all arise with
conditions, they all pass away. Thoughts arise. They arise from conditions. If you grew up with certain conditions, you
may have grown up with a belief that you are unworthy or inept, unlovable, or lacking skill or talent or grace. This is
an idea and it limits you. You grow into the belief, 'This is who and what I am.' And it hardens so that it's very
difficult to release that belief.
Some of you have struggled with addiction of some sort, alcohol, drugs, or even cigarettes. Either you have held the
idea, 'this is who I am,' or, 'this is who I will not be.' But when you say, 'I will not be the one who smokes,' or
drinks, or whatever, you're still giving it energy, in a sense. All you're seeing is that concrete, small piece of what
you are, the one who smoked cigarettes and now will not smoke cigarettes any more. The identity remains. There may be
the one who used to be careless and now will not be careless any more, one who used to be angry and now will not be
angry any more. ' I WILL NOT BY ANGRY!' You keep practicing it. You're trapped within this limited sense of what you
are, trapped within your belief systems.
Your practice gives you the opportunity to see how these belief systems, especially your deepest self-identity, have
arisen out of conditions, and to reflect, this is only one small piece of what you are. The angry one, or even the good
one, the incompetent one or even the one who always needs to be perfect
they are all expressions of being caught by
beliefs.
That which is aware of anger is not angry. What is this, 'That which is aware'? That which is aware of a belief
system, 'I am unworthy,' knows it is not unworthy. Your practice asks you to open to the fullness of what you are. The
difficulty here is that you are so comfortable in your discomfort. You don't like it, you say you don't want to be
there, but what else is there? So you keep coming back to it. You're so used to this self-identity.
We come back to this energy exercise. What if John insisted that he ends there? (touching John) We keep crashing into
each other. One of the reasons that you can walk down a crowded street comfortably is that you feel other people's
energy, even if you're not conscious of feeling it. And you feel how far your energy field extends out. But it extends
so much further than you believe it extends; you are infinite. And that idea is threatening. What if you really are as
infinite and powerful as I say you are? Then you're going to have to be more responsible, aren't you? If there is
negativity, you can't just say, 'Well it's because of what my parents did when I was 6 years old. I can't help it.'
Do you want to be comfortable and safe, or do you want to be free? It really is as simple as that. There's a very
beautiful dharma teaching called 'clear comprehension.' It begins with clear comprehension of purpose and asks, in this
moment, what is my highest purpose? Is it to be safe, for example? Or is it to be free? There's nothing wrong with being
safe, and the two are not mutually exclusive, really, because when you understand that you are free, you understand that
you are and always have been safe. But in the illusion, you don't feel safe so you revert to the old habits that pull
you in. And then there's no freedom.
What is my highest purpose, and is what I am about to do in this moment suitable to that highest purpose? When John
first invited Barbara to teach with him, she said, 'How can I do that? I've only had formal access to this practice for
a short time.' So she asked me, 'Can I teach?' And I said, 'What is your highest purpose? Is it to share the dharma? Or
is it never to make a fool of yourself?' (laughter) So I answered her, 'If you teach, you're probably going to make a
fool of yourself sometimes. But if you don't teach, you cannot share the dharma. What is your highest purpose?'
You become willing to move out of the illusion of limitation into which you've held yourself and to start to know the
fullness of your being, your power and your wholeness. Those of you with a physical ailment, perhaps something severe
such as cancer or perhaps just a cold, you're not your cold; you are not your cancer. This is one expression of this
physical body right now. It's not who you are. But through repetition, you convince yourself, 'I'm the one who always
gets colds.' Or, 'I'm the one with a tumor growing inside.' Or, 'I'm the one with a hangnail.' Whatever it might be, you
focus on it.
To the extent that you keep focusing on it, you keep practicing this woundedness and deepening the belief, 'This is
who I am,' and it becomes increasingly difficult to break free. You are vast awareness. You are light and energy. And
you have no limits.
At the same time, clearly this human body does have limits. I'm not recommending anybody climb up on the roof, here,
after my talk to say, 'Well Aaron says I'm unlimited, therefore I'll fly home!' Your body does seem to have limits. Yes,
there's nobody here who could not fly if you truly knew you could. But you are not ready yet. We don't want to pick up
broken bodies from the sidewalk! You need to respect that you live within the illusion, and that you have come into the
incarnation with a willingness to live within the illusion, but not to take the illusion as ultimate truth.
Let's use the theater as a metaphor here. We cast all of you, each with a role in a play; each of you learned your
lines. Then we opened the stage and asked you to come up and play your lines. The one who said, 'Ah, this is just a
play,' and didn't empathize with the character, didn't try to feel how that character felt and be that character, their
acting would not be very interesting, would it?
Then there are those who come up and thoroughly empathize with their character, thoroughly live out that character on
the stage. Through doing that, they learn about the feelings of that character, and the audience also learns. You are
both player and audience; you are player to a role, a part in the incarnation, and audience to everybody else's parts
and to your own.
But what happens to the one who deeply empathizes with their character and when the curtain is drawn, is so convinced
he's that character that he continues to play it out when he leaves the stage? On the stage he's in a brawl with others.
The curtain is drawn and the other characters say, 'Oh, that was a good show tonight. Let's go get a beer.' And he says,
'With you? I hate you!' because they've been brawling on stage. He's so caught up in the illusion that he can't see both
the illusion that he's been creating and the deeper reality.
This is really the situation that all of you are in. When we talk about waking up, it's waking up to realize, 'Here I
am in the play. I came into the incarnation with an intention to play this part for a reason, to learn certain things
from playing the part. And yet if I become so self-involved with the part, deep wisdom can never come.'
You need to have compassion for the human that you are and the part you are playing, and yet be willing to step back
into this vast field of awareness that can watch the player and say, 'Ah, I see how that habit energy is flowing. Ah, I
see how these opinions came. I see how these beliefs came.' And make the decision, 'I'm not going to do that any more.'
Let it go.
So you are both playing the part and finding liberation from the self-identity with the part, literally becoming
free.
(The digital recorder is stopped and a new file started. Aaron comments, 'This is just so the transcriber receives
small enough folders that she can open. There is a relative reality and we have to obey its rules! Unlimited, we send an
hour-long tape to her. But the relative reality is, the technical equipment will not send out a long folder.'
It's very much the same. In ultimate reality, you are completely free; in relative reality, there are certain limits
that you have to observe, but not with self-identity to them. In the long run, those limits fade away so much that
perhaps the only real limit is that the body is an organic object. Yet even that is transcended. I have known beings who
literally have lived without food for years, and even with minimal water. I have known beings in whom after death, the
karma was so deeply purified that as the body dissolved, it simply dissolved. There was nothing left of it, just a
rainbow light emanating from the room. This is what the Tibetans call the rainbow body.
So the body is not necessarily a heavy, course object. The body is energy, and within the cells of the body and the
energy field, there is karma. As you purify the karma, there's nothing left. It dissolves.
Let's take this one step further. In what ways can your meditation practice help you release limits and beliefs?
Let's use a simple example, the feeling of unworthiness. Because I'm sure that many of you, if not all of you, have at
some time or another felt unworthy. For some of you it's a predominant experience; for others of you, an occasional
experience, but a familiar one.
What does it feel like to feel unworthy? Does the body contract? Is there tension? As I recall it, yes. Sometimes
there's heat. The breath may become shallow. There's a physical experience akin to shame. Because of your practice, you
note these physical arisingsheat, change in the breath, tension, tension in the belly, perhaps, or in the throatand
you note the idea, 'I am unworthy,' which is a habitual response to certain external stimuli and the physical sensations
you're experiencing. The mind goes into the thought, 'I'm unworthy,' and the experience of wanting to shrink, to
disappear.
When mind notes this whole experience, it begins to see there is first simply a movement of the arising of physical
and mental objects, impermanent and not self, arisen from conditions. They are unpleasant. Following the unpleasantness,
there may be a feeling of, 'I don't want this,' Experienced as aversion, and wanting to push the object away. This
aversion is a new object, just as the itch and the wanting to scratch the itch are two different objects. So the body
sensations and thoughts that come together with the idea. 'I'm unworthy,' is one object, and the anger at being unworthy
is a second object. Do you follow me? Two objects; this is vital to see.
This becomes akin to the experience of climbing on a wagon and rolling down a hill. There's a point where you sit in
the wagon on the top of the hill and it's not moving. You can get off if you want to, but once it starts to roll and
picks up speed, you can't get off. As you get caught with the physical and mental ideas that come together as unworthy,
and then the anger, the whole things picks up speed, and suddenly there's anger, shame and confusion, and you're stuck.
And each time it happens, the idea, 'I am the unworthy one,' gets stronger.
Within your meditation, as you sit there, perhaps the legs hurt and you need to move them. As you move them, you hear
the foot dragging on the floor, and shame comes up. 'I'm making noise, I'm disturbing others. I'm the one who can't sit
still.' Then when you see, 'Ah, thinking, thinking.' Then you're in the wagon at the top of the hill; you're not giving
it any momentum.
As soon as you go with it, you're rolling down the hill and it's harder to stop. Moving, hearing the sound, shame
about the noise you're making, and then anger'Why do they tell people to sit still anyhow? This is a stupid practice! I
don't think I'm going to do this any more! I'm leaving!' Then you go home and you say, 'I can't do that practice. I'm no
good.' Why? Because there is some idea that when the foot moves and there is a little bit of noise, you were bad. Which
is just the result of your old conditioning.
Look at this in your lives. See where you give it momentum. Is it with the idea of being the angry one or even the
good one, or the one who always has to be good. Is it with the healthy one or the unhealthy one? The bright and clear
one or the dull one. Each of you have these self-images, and each time something triggers them, you may give it more
momentum rather than just sitting back and watching, knowing this is just a succession of objects arising in space and
dissolving again.
You attend to the object with kindness. You can't deny the object, but you also just rest in the spaciousness. Here
is freedom.
If I could use this image again, we've got a hundred wagons here on top of the hill. You've been watching people
rolling down the hill in their wagons and crashing into trees, bodies scattered, unconscious and bleeding, down there.
You're sitting in your wagon. Above you is a vast, beautiful sky. Why roll down the hill? (laughter)
You have a choice. That's what your practice is about, remembering you have a choice.
I chuckled a bit to myself as we came up with this theme for the weekend, because there's another way you're moving
beyond limits this weekend. That's the limit we've imposed on the retreats here, that they not be attended by a spirit.
Your culture is beyond much of its prejudice about skin color, religion, and cultural background, but you have to have a
body. Because I don't have a body, there's quite a bit of prejudice against me! People think, 'Oh no! A spirit!'
So I also want to invite you to look at any beliefs you have about what spirit is, because it's not just me that is
spirit; you are spirit. I speak about the fingers and the space beyond, about the forms, the thoughts, the perceptions,
feelings, consciousness, all arising and passing away in that space. Beyond all of these things, you are spirit. You are
energy, you are light. And this is what you must discover about yourselves, to truly be free.
I spoke about the nature of the chariot or the chair, which are conditioned objects arising and passing away. There
is a conditioned body and a conditioned mind, yes, but you are also of the nature of the Unconditioned. I cannot explain
that to you. This is where your practice must take you, to that point in the practice where you meditate and the whole
body seems to dissolve, the ego dissolves, thoughts stop. There, you don't cease to exist. There is what we call
awareness, or supramundane consciousness.
When you are in that space, you are not just you. This body and mind, these are expressions of that ground or core of
being. It's like taking drops of water out of the oceaneach one is a separate drop. It has intactness to it. And yet if
I dropped them back into the ocean again, you can't say this is this drop and that is that drop. They've merged
together.
Resting in that space of pure awareness, resting in the Unconditioned, you do not cease to exist in the ultimate
sense, and yet you are no longer believe you are the body, the mind, the feelings, the consciousness. It becomes clear
those are just outer expressions of you. The self is known as radiant, clear and eternal, the unborn, undying. This
Ground cannot be stained by thoughts; the thoughts simply arise and pass away. The beliefs arise and pass away. The body
sensations and ailments and all arise and pass away.
If we took a lot of mud and threw it on these windows, would we harm the windows, the glass? Does the glass lose its
inherent clarity? When you do attend to the mud, wash it off, the glass itself is not disfigured in any way. And just in
the same way, the essence of you is never disfigured in any way by the conditioned arisings. So it's up to you whether
you choose to believe that you are really those conditioned aspects of the self, or whether you are this ever-perfect,
clear radiance that cannot be stained or distorted, that is infinite, unlimited.
This would seem to be a good place to pause and invite your questions.
Q: In Christianity, there's a supreme being. In Buddhism, there isn't. What's true?
Aaron: Both are true. (laughter) This, what we call supreme-being, this is not a puppet-master God up there deciding
which basketball team is going to win this game. (laughter) This is what the Buddha called the Unborn, Undying,
Unchanging, Uncreated, simply That Which Is. The important thing is that it's not something out there. You participate
in that, you are expression of that. The word, 'God' is a difficult word because there is often a puppet-master
connotation that accompanies the word 'God,' but we may simply call it That Which Is, the Unborn, Undying. The
Unconditioned. There is something. He said, 'If it were not so, there would be no reason for our lives.' It would be a
very nihilistic teaching to say there is nothing.
When you enter this space in your meditation, Q, it's not empty, it's full. There's an enormous energy to it. We
can't label it; the conceptual mind cannot go there. It's only pure awareness that goes there, supramundane
consciousness. So the lokuttara citta, the consciousness level that's able to perceive unconditioned objects, touches
the Unconditioned, but it's not able to talk about it because we're only able to talk from the conditioned realm.
Vocabulary doesn't exist in the unconditioned realm.
But when you experience it, it's full. I can't tell you what it is. To me it feels like infinite love and
intelligence. It is all-intelligent. When I say it's intelligent, intelligent not in the sense of the conceptual
everyday mind, but aware of dhamma, if I could put it that way. Aware of the truth of how things are and consistent with
that truth. And love. And it's hard to define love. For me, this simply means uncontracted. The loving heart is open and
spacious and uncontracted. When there's fear energy, you contract. When you contract, it brings unwholesome karma. When
you release karma, you're back into this uncontracted. So love, for me, is consistent with uncontracted. It exists in
service to all beings, not self-centered, and yet at that point there is no self or other. So how could we say it is not
self-centered because everything is just that self? There is nothing else. It is the highest principle of love.
Please remember that the Buddha was teaching in Hindu India where people believed there were many gods and people
avoided responsibility for their choices by blaming the gods. They went off and prayed to this god and that god. They
believed the gods influenced how life would be. The Buddha understood that this was not wholesome, and he was trying to
help people break through that pattern and take responsibility. So he did not say there is nothing, he simply said,
these various gods, they are not what determine things. There is no god of this and god of that. There is no one supreme
being, separate and above all else. But that doesn't mean there is nothing.
Q: Are there really soul mates and do we come back with them over and over again?
Aaron: Of course there are. Yes. Let me explain this just a little. You have a number of bodies: physical body,
mental body, emotional, and spirit body. The physical body dissolves, a new physical body comes in the next incarnation.
The mental body, it moves off into the astral realm with you and it comes back in the next incarnation, not in terms of
conscious thought, but in terms of habit energies, karma. The emotional body, similar.
The spirit body is very pure. When you come back in a new incarnation, depending where you are in your evolution. If
you've done this kind of practice, when anger comes up, you learn to note, 'anger, anger,' feel the heat of it, the
tension of it, without creating a self-identity, not to act it out, but to watch it dissolve. You've released the
self-identity with anger and released the karma around it. In the next incarnation there's not so much work with the
emotional body, there may not even need to be a new incarnation.
The mental body is not as heavy as the emotional body, the thoughts and beliefs and so forth. When a belief can come
up and you can note it as opinion and not self-identify with it, it goes. But the mental body itself does not dissolve.
There's simply no longer belief in the mental body as self.
When you work with your soul mates, guides, and other spirits on the astral plane, it's from a level of this pure
mental body and the spirit body, so there's able to be communication on that level. Working out what needs to be done,
looking together at the karma of each being and how you can best assist each other to resolve that karma, and then
you're drawn by that karma into the new incarnation, often together to work out that issue together. So yes, you keep
coming back with your soul mates, your friends, and your worst enemies. They're sometimes your best friends! Do you
understand what I mean by that? Our worst enemies are often our deepest teachers.
I'm happy to take another few questions if there's time
Q: Aaron, could you speak a little about forgiveness?
Aaron: There are several important things to know about forgiveness
Forgiveness dissolves karma. Therefore it's a
very important thing to learn and practice, and yet you can never force forgiveness. I find it's better to work on the
level of compassion, karuna. When you deeply look into another being's feelings, needs, motivations, and understand what
led them to act in the way they did, you do not condone their action but you understand it. At that point there's
nothing left to forgive. You let go of it much more easily. So it's important not to approach forgiveness as a 'I should
forgive,' but rather a willingness to come together deeply with the other person to hear them and understand them. Thich
Nhat Hanh speaks of this compassion beautifully in his poem, 'Please Call Me By My True Names'. He talks about a pirate
who rapes a young girl, who throws herself into the sea to drown. He notes that if he were born in the town and
conditions of this pirate, he might have become a sea pirate, and he cannot so easily condemn himself. As we open our
hearts in compassion in that way, we understand and cease to condemn. Then you act in the world not to kill all the sea
pirates but to change the conditions in poverty-stricken towns so that there are no longer the conditions that create
new sea pirates. You act in a skillful and loving way, and this is the outer expression of forgiveness. Is that
sufficient answer?
Q: You mentioned twice, 'If it were not born,'I apologize, I'm probably going to get this wrong, but I think you
were talking about being unborn and clear, there would be no purpose for our lives. And I'm just having trouble
understanding how that connects, how that translates into a purpose. (She is referring to the Buddha's statement, in a
sutra, 'Oh monks, there is an Unborn, Undying, Unchanging, Uncreated. If it were not so, there would be no meaning to
our lives.')
Aaron: My sister, if there were only the conditioned realm into which you took birth and eventually died, life would
simply be about material living. There would be nothing but the conditioned. Some might say yes, there's a purpose to
that. I've seen a bumper sticker that says, 'He who dies with the most toys, wins.' Well, that's a certain philosophy of
life, but to me there's not much purpose there. It's self-defeating. As soon as that self dies, the purpose is gone.
In order for there to be a, what the Buddhists call Buddha-nature and the Christians call Christ-consciousness, in
order for there to be that deeper essence of being, there needs to be the Unconditioned. But we do not create an
Unconditioned philosophically to give us a purpose. Rather, as we move deeply into meditation and have some of these
profound experiences where the body and ego disintegrate, and thoughts stop arising, there's absolute stillness, when
you move into that space, there is light, there is energy. When you know, 'I am that,' then the deeper purpose comes up,
to try to live this outer expression as consistently with what you find in that stillness as you can. That is, with as
much love and compassion, generosity and grace, as is possible.
When you do this, we're not doing it simply to end the karmic stream; that is not an end in itself. Because once the
karma is dissolved and there's no need to take further incarnation, this unborn, undying essence of you continues.
Please consider a huge container of somewhat impure water. It's got a lot of dirt in it. You begin to filter it. You
drain cups out and filter them and then you pour them back. You do it thousands of times, draining cups from this vast
container, filtering them and pouring them back. The water will become increasingly pure, yes?
In just the same way, as each of you does this work with yourselves, That Which Is, which is infinite and perfect,
already, becomes more infinitely perfect. How can perfection become more perfect? How can light become lighter? How can
love become more loving? And yet, because it is unborn, undying, because it is infinite and constantly capable of
expanding, this expansion of love is possible. There are no boundaries.
For me, it comes down to the question of, would you rather live in a loving universe or one based on hatred and fear?
As each of you does this work on yourselves, it's like purifying the water and feeding back more love, so that the
universe becomes more and more filled with that love. This is hard to talk about because we're talking about some
balance between the relative and the ultimate. On the ultimate level, it's unchanging. The Unborn, Undying, Unchanging.
It already is, it's perfect. And on the relative level, it's constantly changing and expanding. You keep contributing to
it. Does somebody have a clean white piece of paper? (he is given one)
Here is an unwrinkled sheet of paper, can you see it? No wrinkles. (crumples paper and unfolds) You can see the
wrinkles. We are not in any way denying the existence of the wrinkles. Can you see that the unwrinkled sheet of paper is
still there? Where would it go? The wrinkles exist and the unwrinkled sheet of paper exists.
On the relative level there are wrinkles and on the ultimate level there are no wrinkles. What you are doing, in
effect, is integrating the ultimate and the relative so that the relative increasingly reflects the perfection of the
ultimate. And the reason that there would be no purpose in life without this is that one would have to resign oneself to
living in a world where the wrinkles were the ultimate reality.
(crumples it up; tosses it out) Play with it! (laughter)
Q: What I'm wondering is, why is the relative necessary?
Aaron: It is your learning place. Let's go back to that theater stage. You come out on the stage and read lines that
may be involved with anger and pain and fear, and often there's a learning process and catharsis for the actors and the
audience, yes?
Life in relative reality is very much the same thing. From the ultimate perspective, dwelling on the astral plane in
between incarnations, there is no fear. You incarnate and accept the illusion of the separate self. You accept willingly
to forget your true nature so that you can come here and practice loving. If you remember your true nature and that this
is just a play, there is no anger, so nothing to serve as catalyst for compassion. In the same way, it would be very
hard for the actor on the stage to really bring up anger, unless he's willing to put aside the idea that he's an actor
and really feel the part.
When you feel the part, then you can learn compassion. Without these negative emotions, how can you learn compassion?
If you understood it's all an illusion, and something brought up anger, then all you would say is, 'It's all an illusion
anyhow so there's no anger.' Your heart doesn't open, then. You're not really learning lovingkindness and compassion,
you're just using the brain. But this is not about the brain, this is about the love.
It's 10 minutes to 10, Barbara's body is tiring; her energy is dwindling. We'll end the session at this point
Thank you for your attention and for permitting me to share my thoughts. It has been a joy to share our energy and
radiance. My love to you.
Copyright © 2007
|