Emerald Isle Retreat, Dzogchen
April 24, 2007

(The beach is very windy so everyone is gathered in Barbara's room with a view of the beach.) Group has been discussing yesterday's exercises.

Aaron: (to laughter) I gather my exercise instructions frustrated some of you. I thought of an alternative. We could go down on the beach and dig a dozen deep holes neck deep, bury you in sand, leave you there to reflect for a few hours. See if you find oneness with the sand and the sea.

Q: And you don't come out until you do!

Aaron: We'll keep an eye on the high water mark… It can be very lovely lying on a beach in the sand. Wait until your children get old enough to bury you on the beach (speaking to a father with young children).

What I cannot give you directly but only offer suggestions as how to find is the direct experience of all the elements intermingled in your body, nothing separate. We talk about arising and John's quote from the dharma talk last night. 'For one who clings, motion exists, but for who clings not, there is no motion.' Why does motion exist when we cling?

Q: There's grasping or aversion pushing away.

Aaron: So there's a contraction and the contraction is felt as motion. Can you conceive that there can be the arising of a clinging or aversive impulse, which is simply seen as the arising of the wave and subsides immediately? There's superficial motion in it, and yet there's no motion in it. At a certain level, can you feel the stillness of the sea? Do you understand what I mean by that? It's moving, it's turning around, and yet there's a deep stillness to it. I'm using the sea as metaphor. I want to give you the sense of that stillness that always is in the self, right there with the arising and dissolution of the mundane. Let's read this from the sutra.

From Udana:

For one who clings, motion exists; but for one who clings not, there is no motion.
Where no motion is, there is stillness.
Where stillness is, there is no craving.
Where no craving is, there is neither coming nor going.
Where neither coming nor going is, there is neither arising nor passing away.
Where neither arising nor passing away is, there is neither this world, nor a world beyond, nor a state in between.
This, verily, is the end of suffering.

'For one who clings, motion exists, but for one who clings not, there is no motion.' We could rather phrase that, for one who clings and becomes caught in the clinging, motion exists. Where no motion is, there is stillness. Yes, where no motion is, there is stillness, but we've just said there is stillness in the sea even though there's motion.

There can be no clinging without a 'self.' Who clings? So it could be phrased, 'For one who is still rooted in a separate, permanent self, motion exists. For one who has uprooted that notion of a separate, permanent self, there is no motion.' And yet a craving thought can briefly arise even if there is no rootedness in that self. It is seen merely as the wave arising from the sea.

I'm getting some friendly nods, yes. Do you get what I'm saying?

Q: Is it like the breath, the contraction of the in-breath?

Aaron: When the breath is drawn in and it builds up, then it becomes jitsu, and it releases. With that release is a moment of kyo breath. Then it builds up again with the exhale, becomes jitsu again, and releases again. With the balanced flow of the breath, there is a constant kyo-jitsu movement, but it never becomes imbalanced, it just flows. So there is no held contraction. Where the held contraction is, everything gets pushed off balance.

Where stillness is, there is no craving. Where craving is not, there's no coming or going. Where emotion is not held as 'mine', there is stillness. Where stillness is, there is no craving.

Remember that we use the sea as a metaphor, for it is a conditioned object and is never truly still. The sea is in motion on the top and yet there's the vast stillness of the depths. Current remains but there's no oppositional force that is unresolvable. There's a deep, peaceful stillness. Within that deep stillness, there's no ongoing contraction, such as craving. The sea doesn't crave, it just flows, touching everything equally. 'Where neither coming nor going is, there is neither arising nor passing away'. On one level there is arising, there's arising of the waves and passing away of the waves. And yet, the sea is deep and still. Both are true.

'Where neither arising nor passing away is, there is neither this world nor a world beyond nor a state in between. This verily is the end the end of suffering.' It's a beautiful piece from the dhamma.

Now I want to read you from Flight of the Garuda, Song 15. It's a beautiful book. It's one of my favorite books throughout all of history. And that's saying quite a lot.

Song 15

Emaho! Once again, noble children, listen carefully!

Rest your mind loosely in naturalness and
See how the mind is when calm.
Observed, it rests calmly in the continuity of awareness.
Calm, and yet empty, thus is the state of awareness.
Fortunate heart-children, you must understand this.
This is how calm resting is the mind's ornament.

Give rise to a thought and observe how it arises.
Since it does not depart even in the slightest
From the state of empty and luminous awareness,
Arising and yet being empty is thus the state of awareness itself.
Fortunate heart-children, you must understand this.
This is how arising is the play of mind.

To illustrate this, no matter how many waves may arise,
They never depart from the ocean even in the slightest.
Similarly, whether still or in movement,
The mind never departs from awareness and emptiness even in the slightest.
So rest, since whatever rests calmly is the state of awareness.
Rest, since whatever arises is the manifestation of awareness.

To believe that meditation is only when the mind rests quiet,
And maintain that there is no meditation when the mind moves
Is proof of not knowing the core of stillness and movement,
And of not having mingled stillness, occurrence and awareness.

For this reason, fortunate and noble heart children,
Whether moving or still, mind is the continuity of awareness.
So when you have fully comprehended stillness, occurrence and awareness,
Then practice these three as one.
This is how stillness and thought occurrence are nondual.

'Rest your mind loosely in naturalness and see how the mind is when calm. Observed, it rests calmly in the continuity of awareness. Calm yet empty, thus is the state of awareness. Fortunate and noble heart children, you must understand this. This is how calm resting is the mind's ornament.'

'Give rise to a thought and observe how it arises. Since it does not depart even the slightest from the state of empty and luminous awareness, arising and yet being empty is thus the state of awareness itself. Fortunate and noble heart children, you must understand this. This is how arising is the play of the mind.'

'To illustrate this, no matter how many waves may arise, they never depart from the ocean, even in the slightest. Similarly, whether still or in movement, the mind never departs from awareness and emptiness, even in the slightest. So rest, since whatever rests calmly is the state of awareness. Rest, since whatever arises is the manifestation of awareness. To believe that meditation is only when the mind rests quiet and maintain that there is no meditation when the mind moves, is proof of not knowing the core of stillness and movement, and of not having mingled stillness, occurrence, and awareness. For this reason, fortunate and noble heart children, whether moving or still, mind is the continuity of awareness, so when you have fully comprehended stillness, occurrence, and awareness, then practice these 3 as well. This is how stillness and thought occurrence are non-dual.'

Shall we go back and examine it a bit? It starts with 'Once again, noble children, listen carefully.' Consider yourselves noble children, that is, children who are following the dhamma path, who are born to that karmic nobility to be ready to hear the dhamma.

'Rest your mind loosely in naturalness and see how the mind is when calm.' This is what you do in vipassana practice, you rest the mind and watch thoughts arise and pass away and get to know the texture of the calm mind.

'Rest your mind loosely in naturalness and see how the mind is when calm. Observe it rests calmly in the continuity of awareness.'

Q: Could you define the use of the word mind? We do not use that often in vipassana.

Aaron: Mind here means both the pure awareness mind and the everyday mind. We observe the non-duality of rigpa, pure awareness, and sem or everyday mind. The pure awareness mind is always there just as the depth of the ocean is always there while there are waves at the top. We must know the non-duality of sem and rigpa, together as 'mind'.

'See how the mind is when calm. Observed, it rests calmly in the continuity of awareness. Calm, and yet empty, thus is the state of awareness.' The everyday mind does not so much rest… how can I explain this? If you could think of the ocean as having different strata, at the top there are waves, far out to sea, big 30-foot waves, down below there are currents, and as you go down you go beyond even the current. It becomes still but there is still motion, of course. But there's not strong pushing and pulling; it's very still. You cannot say, 'This is a cut-off point, and that is the ocean top and this is the ocean bottom.' It's something they are together.

In just the same way, the everyday mind rests above the foundation of the awareness mind. You lose track of the awareness mind just as you would if you were in a little rowboat on those 30-foot waves. You'd lose touch with the fact that there was a stillness beneath you.

But, when you practice skillfully, you, in a sense, put yourself into a diving suit, leave your boat moored at the top and lower yourself down. The boat is at the top and you can't lose contact with the boat; it's needed to survive. You will need to go back up. But, you lower yourself into the still depths. You keep an awareness of the boat, and if the boat needs to be tended, you tend to the boat. And then lower yourself down into the depths again.

From Garuda: 'See how the mind is when calm. Observed, it rests calmly in the continuity of awareness. Calm, and yet empty, thus is the state of awareness.' By empty, here, there's no concept of duality, so awareness is empty of any illusion of a separate self. You all know that experience, you've all had fleeting glimpses, at least, of that experience. Empty, empty of self. Empty of … the self-centered grasping and aversion. The state of peace.

'Calm and yet empty. Thus is the state of awareness. This is how calm resting is the mind's ornament.' That line reminds us of the superb beauty of this non-dual mind, and of this place of deep peacefulness. The Buddha-mind. This is the highest ornament. I'm not sure I would have used the word ornament. Of course, this was written in Tibetan and this is a translation. Rather, I would probably have said, calm resting is the mind's core. The ornament gives the idea of something on top and decorative. But this is really the core.

'Give rise to a thought and observe how it arises.' Let's do that. Breathing in, breathing out. Attention focused on the breath, at the moment. And now gave rise to a thought. 'After the dzogchen period, he's going to ask us to bury ourselves in sand!' Okay, there's a thought. It just arises. Fear may arise too because I suggested it, but thought and fear-thought simply arise.

Where is the thought now? Anybody, where is it? Dissolved? If we were sitting on the beach, I would point to the wave. Watch it break. Where is the wave now? Dissolved.

'Give rise to a thought and observe how it arises. Since it does not depart even in the slightest from the state of empty and luminous awareness, arising and being empty is thus the state of awareness itself.' Now here, picture that this wave, we've talked of the still depths, there's no demarcation—end of still depths, beginning of wave. The wave is coming from deep down, gradually rising up, and it dissolves back into the depths. Can you see how the thought arises in the same way, from the still mind?

Here's a different example. Breathe in and exhale. Breathe in again. In that second in-breath, are you breathing in only your own air? Where did the air come from that you just breathed in the second time? Are you breathing her air? Are you grasping because other people are breathing your air?

The breath arises naturally. The air simply comes, arisen out of conditions. It's empty of a separate self. It fills your body. Breathe in and feel the air in your body. You might think for a moment, 'This is my air,' and the body releases it. Of course, air is in the cells, too. There's air within the body, not just within the lungs. It's constantly changing; it has no self.

'Give rise to a thought and observe how it arises. Since it does not depart even in the slightest from the state of empty and luminous awareness, arising and yet being empty is thus the state of awareness itself.' We see this empty arising with the breath and the ocean. I can only give you metaphors and then ask you to take it into your practice. Part of the dzogchen practice is with the breath. Breathing that air out, it goes out and out and out. Breathing in, and you're breathing the whole universe in. Breathing out, no self. After awhile let it not be the breath; let your whole being release, all sense of self-identify. All me-ness. I. And a new breath coming in, release this human in the world, this relative being. There's a difference between being-ness and me-ness. Know 'being' without 'me'.

This is how arising is the play of the mind. The nature of the mind is to give rise to a thought. The nature of the body is to experience sensation. When there is a sensation—could you please open the door? (Door is opened; wind is blowing in) Close your eyes and feel the breeze. Touching, touching.

Does there have to be a self in it? Can you experience touching without building up a solid self? Can you feel it? There doesn't have to be a person who is being touched, just this body. Sense organ, sense object, touching consciousness. Please close it, thank you.

Q: So if the breeze is particularly cold, for example, then there would be unpleasant sensation but not necessarily aversion?

Aaron: We move through this in stages, D. First there is touching. In touching, just touching. Or in any sense consciousness, just that sense consciousness. Feeling may be pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral. Unpleasant can just be unpleasant. But often with unpleasant, stories begin to come. There's contracting of the energy, the whole energy field contracts into this idea of separate self. 'Me, I'm experiencing cold. It's unpleasant. How am I going to fix it?'

As soon as you see this separating mind, mind creating stories, know it, know that this is the root of suffering, and let it go. It dissolves as it arose, leaving no trace. Then there's no suffering. Q: But can all of this happen without the aversion coming up at all?

Aaron: Of course.

Q: So the next question is, on some level, the thought, 'Let's close the door,' on some level there is a thought 'Close the door,' …

Aaron: But 'Close the door' does not have to come from aversion.

Q: Right!

Aaron: Watch this at night. During the night, if you feel warm, is it aversion that pushes the blanket off or is it kindness?

Q: Kindness.

Aaron: If you feel cold, is it aversion to the cold, is it grasping that pulls the cover up, or is it kindness? There need be no contraction; there doesn't have to be any sense of a self there. Just, this body is feeling the discomfort of heat or cold. You, as humans, have the free will ability to change the conditions. But there's no karma in it. The intent is simply for kindness. There's no grasping. You're completely outside of the karmic field, there; it's really awareness that pulls the blanket up or pushes it down. Yes, are you with me so far?

New Q: I'm not sure about awareness arising because I'm so used to objects…

Aaron: This is why I asked you to be on the beach doing some open-eyed awareness meditation! Just to break through that, J. It's this old exercise we've done so many times with the fingers, seeing the objects and looking through. The objects don't go anywhere. The whole world of objects is there. Get to see what's out there beyond the objects. The everyday mind is there. See what's beyond the everyday mind. Awareness, resting in awareness, resting in space.

New Q: So maybe I am jumping the gun, here. Where are you fitting the elements in all of this?

Aaron: This is one way of getting to know emptiness. When you experience the elements, the intermingled elements, not the individuated elements only, but how they are within each other, there cannot be any one element separate from the others. You can see non-duality out there, you can experience it in yourself, or some people will experience it both out there and in themselves. We do different exercises because one connects for one person and one connects for another person.

Q: So the answer is, this is just a technique.

Aaron: Yes, in part. It's a way of getting to know space and emptiness and non-duality. All meditation is technique. The practice of meditation is not the enlightened mind; it's the finger pointing to the moon, as it is said.

Reading on from Garuda. 'To illustrate this, no matter how many waves arise, they never depart from the ocean, even in the slightest. Similarly, whether still or in movement, the mind never departs from awareness and emptiness, even in the slightest.' I cannot say it other than that. Memorize these 2 lines and repeat them to yourselves. You need not quote them exactly. Whether my mind is still or in movement, it never departs from its base of wholeness and emptiness. Just let that insight settle in. The seed that is planted on fertile soil may bloom overnight or it may not bloom for a year. Just plant it.

The everyday mind rests within the infinite space of awareness. Thoughts arise in the everyday mind. When we open the door, the body experiences the breeze. Touching, touching. When certain conditions are present, a thought will arise. When the wind blows, a wave might blossom on the ocean. When the sun shines, a seed on the grass may blossom and grow. Everything blooms out of conditions. But the ground is infinite, empty.

Q: For me, this is like when I am painting or writing. Sometimes it's not me doing it. And yet something is being done.

Aaron: Exactly. Something is being done but there's nobody doing it.

Q: And often, I look at a painting I have done and I am amazed.

Aaron: Because you are resting in awareness as you paint. This is true for many artists in many different kinds of mediums, painting, writing, music and dance. It's coming from a much deeper place and there's no self-story in it.

We did an interesting exercise at Deep Spring last week, in the spiritual inquiry class. We formed people into groups of 5 or 6. You've all played a 3-legged race as children. We asked people to form a circle so that each leg was tied to another leg, all the way around the circle, 5 or 6 people in a circle, legs tied together, eyes closed, arms on each other's shoulders. And then we asked them to just slowly move around the room. Sometimes, since eyes were closed, they might bump into another group, just touching because they were moving so slowly, and then move aside and around. With 6 people, nobody could force the direction of the movement, but when everybody relaxed and stopped being a self, the whole group began to flow. It was interesting to see them struggle with it at first, each person being a self trying to either surrender control or to control, and everybody finally realizing that didn't work, and relaxing. Suddenly the whole group started to move, to flow, because the group became an organism in itself, sensitive to the subtle movements and direction and balance of the group. People had a wonderful time. Apparently from the taped transcript, there was lots of giggling! But I asked that there be no verbal communication. Perhaps not a suitable exercise for a vipassana retreat, but when you get home, you might try this with a group of your friends.

'Whether still or in movement, the mind never departs from awareness and emptiness even in the slightest. So rest, since whatever rests calmly is the state of awareness. Rest, since whatever arises is the manifestation of awareness. To believe that meditation is only when the mind rests quiet and maintain that there is no meditation when the mind moves, is proof of not knowing the core of stillness and movement, and is proof of not having mingled stillness, occurrence, and awareness.'

Stillness does not mean there is no movement; stillness means resting in that deep place and allowing the swaying motion that comes as the outer expressions of being inter-respond with conditions. The stillness is not holding rigidity in opposition to those conditions but dancing with those conditions, and, where appropriate, working to attend to the conditions and results.

In other words, if you're underwater and your little boat swamps, you want to go back up and turn it over and bail it out. But fear doesn't do that, stillness, emptiness, and kindness do it.

Now I want to take this just one step further. Stillness that has no motion in it is… gridlocked is the only word I can think of. That gridlocked condition is not one of peacefulness, is it? For most of you, when you think of stillness, you think of it in opposition to motion, and yet motion is an essential expression of the Unconditioned and of emptiness. As you get to know emptiness, you know the expressions of emptiness, the expressions of the Unconditioned. We've talked of nada and luminosity, and movement is another expression. Don't be afraid of movement but rather enter more fully into the movement.

The more you relax into movement, the more you extend into the still depths. I'm thinking here of a sea creature with its head above the surface and ten-mile long tentacles going down. First the tentacles are all up on the surface, dancing up there on the waves. It feels very unstable, so it lowers its tentacles, down, down, down, down.

Envision that. Go out on the beach, be a sea creature, an octopus with 10-mile-long tentacles, all of you on the surface bobbing up and down, and feel the franticness with many waves breaking, the currents and so forth. And then just let the tentacles fall down, down, down into the depths of the ocean, into a still place. You are not trying to hold yourself still. If you do, there's contraction. The tree branches don't try to hold themselves still, they sway with the breeze and the tree roots go down into the earth to provide stability.

Resting in awareness, the mind and body are not still in the conventional sense of stillness. Thoughts arise, sensations come; there is movement. There is the ability to go out and bail the boat. There is the ability to interact with the world. But resting in awareness, there is stability. You know yourself as simply non-dual with the Unconditioned, and you rest there in that space and express outward from that space.

If you practice in this way and bring this back into your vipassana practice, you'll find you have a lot more ease with difficult objects that come in the practice, because those 10-mile tentacles just hold you. Nothing much can shake you. There may be a painful memory of emotional or body pain that arises and it dissolves. It does not pull or contract.

Are there questions?

Q: Getting back to the 30-foot waves, everyday mind…

(Aaron makes a joke and there is laughter, sounded something like, 'Your everyday mind makes 30 foot waves')

Q: Where does one rest, in the waves or below?

Aaron: You rest with your head above the waves and your body down, down, down into the depths of awareness where there is stability. You don't pull all of you out and climb into a boat because the boat is tossed by the waves and is only on the surface. You need to have part of you resting in awareness. The pure awareness mind and the everyday mind (are) non-dual, so that you note the 30-foot wave of somebody's angry response to something you said. You note tension come up, the whole body tightening—Ahhh, it's just a wave arising, a thought wave. Feel your body become that 10-mile octopus, just hanging there. You're big enough that you touch the bottom of the sea.

Q: So why does one need a diving suit?

Aaron: The diving suit is helpful to convince you that it's still at the bottom. The diving suit is akin to the deeper vipassana experiences where the mind and body dissolve and there's just stillness, nothing arising and dissolving. 'Ah, it really is like this.'

But you cannot live your life from that space, so you've got to take off the diving suit and allow yourself to be on the surface in the world without losing contact with the depths. This is why all these practices go together so well. You need the times of profound stillness. They teach you. You need the times of complete ego and body dissolution. They teach you. To crave to stay in that space forever is just craving. But if you never experience that space, then you're just going to be at the mercy of the waves and the wind, tossing around on the surface.

But remember the image that there is no distinct layer. The ocean depths and the surface are non-dual. The water that's at the surface right now may be at the bottom of the sea on another day. There's no demarcation. Are there any other questions?

Q: I wanted to share an experience I had. This is probably 5 or 6 years ago at one of the retreats we had in Seattle. I had a runny nose that would not stop and I was feeling very self-conscious because I constantly needed to blow my nose in the middle of meditation. And it was very destructive to me and to others. At some point I just decided that I am not going to blow my nose and just see what happens. The snot just started coming down and running down my lip into my mouth. And it was very unpleasant and there was a lot of tension, but I resolved to stay with this.

It just popped, like a bubble. The whole tension, it just popped. An enormous space was left or revealed. It was so calm and there was not a bit of tension. There was just snot running down the nose and into the mouth and it was no big deal. And then I was able to wipe my nose without any tension; it was kindness that was wiping the nose, not me. And there was no tension and that was also the last time that retreat that I had a problem with my nose.

Aaron: Liberation is being able to allow the nose to run. That is a very powerful experience…

Q: It was. I often come back to the moment because it was the first time I experienced this calm and spaciousness, and the kind of selfless movement.

Aaron: Barbara's father told a story like this. He was not a dhamma practitioner. His body toward the end of his life was such that he literally could not move himself once he was settled in for the night. He could turn his head from side to side, he could lift one hand or the other. That was about it. He could not straighten himself up a bit or lie himself down or roll over at all.

When eventually he was moved to a nursing home, he could press a button and they would come and move him. But in the years before that, there were perhaps 2 years where then once settled at night by the nurse's aide or by his wife, that was it. The nurse's aide would leave and the wife would go to sleep.

So when Barbara visited, sometimes she would enter the room in the morning and she would see him lying awake early with tears in his eyes. He was in pain, and he could not move, and she would help him. And she talked briefly to him about how hard it must be to be that helpless. It caused her much pain to see him in such pain.

Then another visit, perhaps 6 months later, she came in one morning and he was just lying there looking very peaceful. And she said…, 'You're not in pain this morning.' He said, 'Oh yes, I'm in a lot of pain, but I stopped resisting it. It's just pain.' And there was no longer the franticness, he was just there. Very powerful.

It is 3:30. I'm going to stop. I would like you to go and, with reflection on all of this, go and sit on the beach, eyes open, and do dzogchen practice. If it's too windy to sit on the beach, sit in the window upstairs and look out. But I think that for awhile you probably can sit on the beach. If possible, sit down close to the surf where the waves look big. Some of you tried the practice yesterday that I suggested, lying down close to the water. How was that for you? Not much happened for D, did anything happen for anybody?

Q: I felt like I was an element.

Aaron: Good. Did anybody else feel an intimacy with the elements, lying there? D did. I had Barbara try it, not as I first suggested this way but side to the water, so she was lying with her face flat on the sand. Less strain and head even lower.

Okay, go and practice. Have a good remainder of your day. Remember those two lines: 'No matter how many waves may arise, they never depart from the ocean, even in the slightest. Similarly, whether still or in movement, the mind never departs from awareness or emptiness, even in the slightest.' My love to you.

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